Happy Never After
by 68 stones from a broken heart
Summary: Elsie goes on a holiday to visit her family, will the holiday bring more than a quick visit?
1. what's with the world today?

**As this is my story, and I own diddly Squat I have decided to rewind time yet leave us in this era. In this fanfic I am God, So ages and careers have been altered. I am not sticking to any form of time line. xoxo.**

* * *

As I slowly came to, I look around. Pitch Black. I can't see anything. Then it hits me, what it is I don't know, but I get slapped across the face, hard.

"You awake yet bitch?" An unfamiliar voice asks out of the darkness.

"What's going on? What's so special about me?" I ask while clutching my face.

"You? You think you're that special? No, not you, it, the baby you're carrying." The voice replied.

"Me? Baby? What are you on? And what the fuck is your problem?" I ask getting some confidence back assuming they've got it all wrong.

"Your baby, that's my problem"

"Oh my god, hello fucktard I have no baby. I'm seventeen for fuck sake." I say, getting impatient.

"Don't play dumb with me girly, you and I both know that you're carrying Jeff Hardy's baby."

"You've gotta be kidding me right? I don't know a Jeff Hardy"

"Bullshit! He proposed to you last week, and you said yes."

"Ok, you've lost it"

"And so will you." The person replied.

"What my mind, you're right you're driving me crazy with these stupid accusations. Number one, I don't know Jeff Hardy, so he in fuck's name can I be his fiancée, and two, if and I say if I were pregnant I think in might just know."

"You're absolutely right, and yet, ever so wrong."

"Care to elaborate?" My patience is wearing thin.

"As far as I'm concerned you're NOTHING to Jeff Hardy, but you won't be loosing your mind, you'll be loosing your baby, and your life." The person said, I could hear them moving closer. I squinted hoping to see the person, yet I could see nothing. Then all of a sudden, two hands wrap around my throat, I scream with all my might.

I open my eyes to find myself in my room, in my bed. It had all been a dream, or more to point a nightmare.

But who is this Jeff Hardy? And why was I with him? Knowing it was going to be a long shot I got up and walked over to my computer. Opening the Internet I brought up Google, surely if I can type in my name and have my myspace and facebook show up there had to be a chance that this Jeff Hardy would be found. So I type in "Jeff Hardy". Literally thousands of sights pop up. I looked on my screen in awe. SO I take the easy way out, I click the image search; again hundreds of pictures are there. Is this guy famous or something? I thought to myself as the images begin to load. Ok so Mr Jeff Hardy looks to me like you are a little bit eccentric. Dirt bikes, orange and purple shoulder length hair, yea ok, I can see me admiring this guy. To put it simply the boy was HOT.

Ok, so I know two things, he's hot and he is definitely different. And I'm guessing kinda famous. I dunno I guess I can ask my cousin in a couple of days when I visit them in, crap where'd they move to again? Ok its in the states…North Carolina, I remember that much, but where? God, its the town with a guys name…. umm Cameron, that could be it. Must be the name. Anyway I'll ask my cousin Dan, he's a bit of a brain, he's a ranger, but really cool all the same, and he does the best damn Yoda impression. He's known the answer to everything I've ever asked him. Sometimes I think he amazes himself. Then there's his twin brother, Andrew, or as I call him Andy. He's the less intelligent of the two or so he says, according to Dan he's less intelligent that a monkey with half a brain, but I don't think so. Dan is actually just as smart as Dan, he just doesn't like being "the whiz" so he pretends otherwise. Of course school makes it hard, but the teachers understand, I think, they let him do presenting tasks alone, because when he does them with a crowd he completely changes his script and makes it into a joke. It was just how he worked. I only know this because I've read some of his workings, they're great. In face Aunty Kimmy is scared because the principal rang her last week congratulating her because the fight for dux of the school was between Dan and Andy, I got a lovely long email about that.

Anyway, so if you ask Andy anything about cars, games, skating or Jackass, he'll give you an answer in an instant. I love that about him, he's really passionate. I was on MSN with him the other day, and he was telling me how he had snuck next door because the owner had a motocross course set up in his yard, and just played around for a while, apparently the neighbour hasn't been there at all since Andy and 'em moved, and they moved there three weeks ago, and Andy hasn't seen him.

Of course Aunty K found out and almost died. Now Andy's grounded 'till the guy comes so he can explain and apologise. Hopefully I will have arrived by then, I leave tomorrow, so unless he gets back really soon I should be.

I spent all day packing with the exception of an hour long phone call to my best friend, Braydon, I told him about my dream and he said I've either found the man of my dreams, or the man of his. As always I spent half of the conversation laughing at him, but what can I say, Braydon is the typical gay best friend. But I honestly couldn't ask for a better one, we've known each other since we were two, and at one time it was me, Bray and Andy, them three amigos. But them Aunty Kimmy started moving lots. Now it's just me and Bray, but that's ok.

I looked at my clock as I set the alarm. Hopefully tonight I just won't dream, if my usual ones are anything to go by. It might be a long ass night.

I wake up to the sound of a reversing truck, wait no, it's my craptacular alarm clock, but today I don't mind too much because I'm finally going! I did my ritual back cracking then half roll off my bed, one of the reasons I'm grateful to have a bed low to the ground. I stumbled to the bathroom and brush my teeth and hair, the quickly hop into the shower. I took a record ten minutes in the shower this morning; I'm putting it to excitement. I pulled on a purple pair of hip hugging skinnies accompanied by a black studded belt and a purple and black pirate tee. I was ready for anything; I hear a horn honk, right Braydon's here, time to go. I grabbed my stuff and walked to his car, luckily I hadn't shut my door yet because I remembered, Australia summer, America winter. So whilst it may be a thirty-eight degree day here it was probably a nine-degree day there. I ran back inside and grabbed my black and red hoodie and traded my black thongs for a pair of black converse, which had a purple flower drawn on it. Finally I was ready. Bray, being my loving friend, did 10km/h over the speed limit the whole way.

"Have fun Si" Braydon said as we neared the terminal, knowing it would annoy me something chronic.

"Man am I ever goanna live that down…come on, maybe when I was three, but not now."

"You and I both know you'd be shit scared if I called you anything else" Braydon said as he hugged me before getting out of the car. "Now have fun, meet the man of your dreams and don't let Andrew allow you to leave in more than one piece"

"Gotcha Bray. I'm gonna miss you this much" I said, whilst stretching my arms out as far as they could go.

"I know, now I'm gonna be at your house, thank you by the way, you know how much I despise living with my family they're so judging of me"

"It's not problem, I know _exactly_ how you feel, it's me remember" Ok so that was a lie, a big lie. But Bray doesn't know what happened in Brisbane. "Just don't change when I'm gone"

"Bye Rainy Day"

"Bye Ring Bearer" We hugged each other and went separate ways for a while.


	2. Keep your friends close

**I just finished talking with Vinnie Mac, I now own Jeff Hardy, but then I found out that you can't actually own another human being…so now all I own is a cookie that looks like him. **

* * *

It felt like I had just taken off for Cameron, North Carolina, in fact the plane was about to land. I was majorly nervous, I don't know why, but I had a feeling something big was about to happen. Maybe Bray was right; perhaps I would meet the man of my dreams on my holiday. All I know is I wanted to get there already, funky feeling and plane trip don't really go together. Plus my ass was asleep.

"Now arriving in Cameron, We hope you've enjoyed your flight with us today." My new favourite saying in the English language, in short, I'm here. I wonder if I beat the neighbour home or not, I hope I did.

I walked off the plane to see the one and only Andy, I ran over to my favourite cousin and gave him one of the biggest hugs known to man. It's no that I don't love Dan, he's just a little more uptight and selfish than Andy is. But once I had let Andy go, by that time Aunty Kimmy had gotten my luggage, I gave Dan a hug too. And asked the question that had been bugging me for the last day.

"Hey, anyone got the 411 on a Jeff Hardy?" I asked looking mainly at Dan, but Andy saw a side plea to him.

"Nope, can't be anyone import…" Dan started before Andy cut him off.

"He's the four time tag teams champions with his brother Matt, and is a definite future hall of famer." I did a double take on Andy, I wasn't used to this side of him…in public anyway. Then he added something that linked it all together. "Wrestler…new passion" It all made sense to me now. Jeff Hardy was famous, in America at least, he was a wrestler, somehow I know Andy is gonna try and get me hooked on it while I'm here, but I'm curious about this Jeff guy so I might watch it.

"So Si, why'd you want the 411 on Hardy?" Andy asked as we walked to their car.

"To be honest" I said, indicating with my finger for him to come closer. "I had a dream about him, I was pregnant with his kid."

"No. Not happening" I had forgotten about this side of Andrew. His over protectiveness, I mean sometimes it was good, but sometimes a little much.

"Don't worry," I said. "I was older than I am know in the dream"

"I should think so," Andy said calming down. _Yea, like eighteen, nineteen_ I thought to myself.

"So Andy, have we seen this neighbour yet?" I asked wanting to know how it played out.

"Nah, but on the way here I saw this black corvette pulling into the street, haven't seen that car before"

"Yea, but it could've been a visitor, there's a whole town here." I said even though I was hoping it was the neighbour

Nah Si Si, this is Cameron North Carolina, not much happens, like its great but small." Good maybe they can stay here for a while then.

Something no one knows about my cousins and Aunty is the fact that they are constantly moving, trying to say away from "Uncle" for lack of a better word, Robert. See, Robert was a jealous man, a very jealous man, he was jealous of the love that Kimmy gave the twins, and he would be rough with them, instead of seeing them as part of him, he saw them as something pulling his girl away from him. Well one day he was a little too rough with Andy, and Aunty Kimmy left with the boys. About a month later Robert turned up saying he forgave them for leaving and she could have another chance, bullshit like that. And he's been following ever since Andy and Dan were two and a half. Aunty Kimmy always went to big cities with lots of people, but Robert always found them in a matter of weeks, this time they went somewhere small, so hopefully they should be ok here.

Andy was right, Cameron, although maybe not as small as he made out was definitely a small community, with big blocks of land, and not many people. Just like Tuena…my home. And again Andy was right, the black corvette did belong to his neighbour, seemed as though I was in for an interesting first day.

"So Si, what'd you wanna do? Lake? Skate? Have a good old fashioned mud fight?" Andy asked me before I even had a chance to look at their house.

"I don't think so Andrew, you are officially grounded remember"

"You mean you weren't kidding? I thought you'd let up once Si got here!"

"No, I'm dead serious"

"Oh my god Andy, just grow some balls and apologise to corvette over there already" I said as I finally got a word in edge wise.

"I knew you were my favourite niece for a reason," Aunty Kimmy said whilst giving me a welcoming hug.

"Thanks Aunty, nice place by the way, not too shabby I must say"

"Thank you darling, I'll take your bag and you can look around later" Kimmy picked up my suitcase and headed inside. I took a step towards Andy.

"Right now get your into gear, all you gotta do is apologise, you're a pro at fake ass shit like that, get it over and done with already so I can have some fun." I said as I kept moving towards Andy causing him to walk backwards.

"Yes Drill Sergeant Sir" He said, reciting the lines from one of our childish games. I pushed him towards his neighbours yard. He begrudgingly walked to the door, being the impatient Australian I am I knocked for him, I was right; this was going to be fun.

We were waiting for a few minutes and I took the time to look around, there was a Trojan horse made out of what appeared to be metal sheeting. The owner of the house was a guy in his early twenties. I figured it would be a guy, how many chicks do you know with a motocross circuit in their yard? He was pretty artsy I was guessing, he had green and blue hair and his facial hair was creative to say the least. But there was something I just couldn't place about him, he looked familiar. Then I looked at Andy, waiting for him to apologise.

"You two here for a reason?" The guy asked us.

"Umm yea, Andy…I mean Andrew has to tell you something." I said nudging Andy. Andy turned and looked at me, as if for a minute forgetting where he was, he talked in code, not that anyone couldn't understand him.

"Oi, you know the 411 you wanted earlier, you just met him." Andy said in a lowered voice, clearly not low enough, the guy overheard him.

"You were asking about me?" He asked direction the question towards me.

"Umm yea kinda" I said, I was going to kill Andy later for that, but now I was feeling a little out of place from my accent.

"I'm interested to know why but I'll wait until after I hear what Andrew was it? Has to say."

"Dude you're Jeff Hardy" was all Andy could manage. Jeff looked down quickly before looking back at Andrew.

"Why yes I am, thank you Andrew, I never would've known if you hadn't told me" He said smirking.

"Sorry, it's just…Big fan, big fan." Jeff's body language seemed to change.

"Oh you can for an autograph then?" Jeff asked suddenly a little annoyed.

"Oh, no, not that, I didn't realise when I came over I'd have to say this to you is all"

"Say what?"

"Oh well you see" Andy was stumbling with his words, very un-Andy like. "You see, I well, I umm… Icameovernotsolongagoandsawyourmotocrosstrackandcouldn'tresistI'mmassivesorryman" When he eventually got it out he said it so fast you wouldn't understand it unless of course you were tight with Andy.

"Sorry? Did you get any of that…umm? Sorry I missed your name" Jeff said looking at me.

"Elsie, and yea, he said I came over not so long ago and saw your motocross track and couldn't resist I'm massive sorry man, well I think that's what he said." I replied, glancing at Andy after I had said it to confirm my answer, he just nodded. "Yep, that's what he said."

"Oh that makes more sense." Jeff turned to look at Andrew, "Did you use my bikes? Did you touch my stuff?"

"No, I'm really sorry" Andrew replied honestly.

"So then what's your vehicle of choice?" Jeff asked interested.

"I changed the wheels of my skateboard so the grips were better, and I could ride on dirt and grass and stuff"

"Massive cool idea man" Jeff said suddenly back to his former happy self.

"Yea, sweet track" Andy said, back to his normal self…if you can call it normal.

"You should try it with a quad, or a pocket bike, they're fun, a little dangerous"

"Don't have one, but I bet your right"

"You should come back, we can trade, I've gotta try this skateboard out"

"Are you kidding? That would be awesome" I could tell Andy and Jeff would most likely become friend, I might even be his friend, you never know.

"You guys want something to drink? I'm over standing in the doorway." Jeff said, opening his door up wider. Andy and I shared a glance, then walked in no second thoughts. "So Elsie, clearly you're not from around here, where are you from?"

"Oh. Nowhere important" I replied.

"I didn't ask if it was important, you just have an interesting accent." Jeff said, still looking at me.

"I'm from Australia, I'm out here visiting" I said, no point lying, my accent gave me away enough anyway.

"Down under? So how long are you staying?" Weird question…from him at least.

"I don't really know, I only got a one way ticket so far" I replied looking at Andy.

"Here to see the boyfriend?" Jeff asked, I got a negative vibe as he said it though.

"Boyfriend? NO, Andy is my cousin. They moved here a few weeks ago."

"Oh, you're the new neighbours…sweet"

"Well yea, I guess you could say that." Andy replied

"So Elsie, why were you asking about me, may I ask?" Jeff asked looking at me. Crap it was make or break time. Ok to be honest it was the time when I completely freak the guy out.

"Oh that, well you see, well" Great now it was my turn to stumble over my words. "I kinda had a dream and this psychotic bitch kept saying your name. So I asked my cousin, they're really smart. Well Andy here is more street smart, Dan, he's the bookworm."

"So whose the wrestling nut then?" Jeff asked wanting to know more.

"Andy, Dan's a bit too much of a ranger to like it I think, and we don't get it back in Aus." I said, I could almost hear a tinge of jealousy in my own voice…how pathetic.

"A ranger?" Both Andy and Jeff looked at me with a 'say what?' expression.

"Oh yea, its an Australian term I guess. It's what we call people with red hair, usually has freckles, sometimes but not always the nerdish type, you get the picture." I attempted to explain a ranger.

"Ahh gotcha. Too bad, I think you might like it." I was really starting to like this Jeff guy, he's hot, he's kind and he can keep Andy quiet for more than a second. "So street smart Andy, what's going on in that head of yours?" Jeff asked as we both turned our attention to my cousin.

"Hmm, oh, nothing, just looking at the pictures you have."

"Yea, my favourite one, that isn't with Matt and my dad is the one with Steve-O"

"You mean Steve-O from Jackass?" I asked hopefully.

"Aww man, you know Steve-O but not me? I'm cut" I started laughing until I looked at him, and he actually looked almost sad.

"Hey, don't blame me, they show Jackass in the movies, they don't show wrestling." I said with a giggle in my voice.

"So Jeff, are you in the running for any titles soon?" And asked jumping in the convo.

"Actually, I've got a title shot for the Intercontinental Championship on Monday in Raleigh"

"Oh man, that would be an awesome match, can't wait to watch it on the tube, you're gonna watch it with, right Si?" Thanks Andy, put me on the spot so I gotta say yes.

"Yea, course, I wanna know what the hype is now." I replied with a smile.

"You guys wanna come with me? Raleigh's only two hours drive, when I drive." Jeff offered, Andy clearly didn't need to be asked twice, he was practically jumping off his chair at the thought. I on the other hand thought rationally.

"We'd have to ask Aunty Kimmy, and she might not say yes. I mean we barely know you"

"True that" Jeff almost seemed down, it was at that moment I wanted to find out more about him. At this very moment both the boys, if you can call them that, looked disappointed.

"Looks like we're gonna have to change her mind" I said, hopefully between the three of us we'd think of something. 'Kyle's Mom' from the South Park Movie blared from Andy's pocket.

"Speaking of my mum" We burst out laughing at the ring tone, but Andy held up a hand as he answered.

"**Yes Mum?"**

"_Where are you and Elsie? You're still grounded remember."_

"**Well, as Si put it, I grew some balls and came to apologise"** My and Jeff's stifled laughs could be heard, I know very mature right.

"_So you're with the new neighbour now?"_

"**Yes mum, is that all?"**

"_Watch your tone young man. What's the neighbour like?"_

"**Mum…eww. That's rank"** I was laughing imagining my aunt on the phone

"He's like Andy Aunty K…just a little older, and more inventive" I shouted, so my aunt could hear, phone or not.

"Invite him to dinner, I want to meet him" 

"**Fine mum, can I go now…please"**

"_I won't take no for an answer. And you may go, dinner's at 8."_ And with that the phone call was over.

"Hey guys" Andy said "We may have a chance to persuade mum tonight. Jeff you're invited to dinner. Si I gotta say I'm pretty sure this is thanks to you." Andy and Jeff exchanged smiles, Andy's smile was a holy shit I'm the luckiest guy alive. But Jeff's smile I couldn't read.

We spent a good three hours just talking and laughing with Jeff, but before we knew it, it was 7:45pm.

"Should I get changed for dinner at all?" Jeff asked, so cute, like meeting the boyf's parentals for the first time.

We gathered our stuff and went to face Aunty K.


	3. My little family

**I own nothing, and no one...except the voices in my head. **

* * *

"You're a little early there. Hi I'm Kimberly McDougal, but most people call me Kim, or Kimmy" Aunty K said, looking at me when she said the last bit.

"Jeff, Jeff Hardy. Pleased to meet you ma'am." Wow, Jeff brought his A game, I'm pretty sure it was just so Andy could go to Raleigh though.

"Pleasures all mine" Wow Aunty was so eating into our trap.

"So Kim, what is it that you do these days?" Jeff asked, I literally saw the colour drain from Andy's face. But I understood, how could you say I'm a waitress, My psycho ex has been chasing us all over the world for the last fifteen years.

But because of it I had so much respect for my Aunt, everyone in our family did, well except my grandfather and father, they support Rob, or as DNA hates me, my uncle. It's only grandad and dad that don't support Aunty Kimmy, Dan and Andy. Stupid arseholes, but I guess its ok, like my 'father' for lack of better word, well his mum, Julie, she, mum, when she was alive and Kimmy, they had each other. It was like a support team type thing. And then there was me, Dan and Andy, well of course Dan and Andy had Gran and Kimmy's support, but I was the only teenage support they had, so we are majorly close.

"Wrong question?" Jeff asked, after a very long pause.

"Oh sorry, I'm in the service industry" Kimmy replied as she always did when she was avoiding the question.

"It must be hard then, with your kids I mean" Jeff said, actually understanding more than Kimmy had wanted him too. "My mum was a waitress before she died, and my dad was a cook, busy hours, bad pay." Jeff had done it, he had cracked Aunty K.

"Yea, the pay is shit, the hours suck, but as long as my boys are healthy and with me I'm ok with it." It's funny, most people who didn't know the situation with Kimmy would've thought over protective much, but Jeff seemed to get her.

"Is it ok for me to take a guess here?" Jeff asked, I held my breath but Aunty K nodded. "Andrew's dad was your high school sweetheart, you never married but he's over controlling" Jeff guessed, half right.

"Not quite, but mighty guess work Hardy." Kimmy said, actually rather relaxed, I let go of the breath I was holding. "I married my high school sweetheart when I was eighteen, and he was a very jealous man, always wanting me for himself, he became controlling, and when the boys were born he got jealous of the time and love I gave them. One day when I was shopping, Andy was crying and instead of trying to help him, Rob threw Andy across the room. I got home just in time to save my babies, we left that day." A rogue tear slid down her cheek and Aunty Kimmy NEVER cried.

"And ever since that low down son of a bitch has been following us, never leaving us alone, if we move, in less than a month he has found us, so we move again." Andy finished off for his mother. Jeff was clearly startled by the story and trust that the family had obviously had in him.

"Can I ask why you were open enough to tell me all of this?" Kimmy came back to reality.

"I am truly sorry Mr Hardy, I shouldn't have loaded you with my pathetic life story." Aunty K said, I'm pretty sure she felt foolish, but Jeff was more surprised by the lack of self-confidence.

"Kimmy, you are a wonderful mother, and strong as hell. If I had to go through that I wouldn't be able to do it nearly as gracefully as you. You and your kids are welcome to my place wether I'm there or not. If you need a place to think, or if the 'low down son of a bitch' as Andy refers to him as comes around and you need to hide, just come in. That goes for you too Elsie." Jeff said. We were all pretty amazed by this. Me because of how easily Kimmy trusted him, she was really guarded, usually. And Kimmy and Andy because of how easily he trusted them.

Jeff looked at me, unsure what to think, I gave him a reassuring smile.

"Tha, Thank you Jeff" Aunty managed to stutter out.

"No problem, thank you for allowing me into your lives." Jeff replied. I knew if he wanted to ask about Raleigh it needed to be now or never, Jeff figured the same thing because the next thing out his mouth was. "Kimmy, there is a show in Raleigh, the next town over, on Monday, and I was wondering if you would allow Andy and Elsie to come?"

"Oh I don't know Jeff, I mean as kind as the offer is there would be no supervision, what if Rob showed up and found Andrew…"

"Kimmy you and Dan are welcome too"

"I have work"

"What if I got them security?" Jeff offered.

"Security? Umm are you sure?"

"If it'd reassure you that they'd be safe, then sure."

"Ok, they can go. Monday you say? Alright…but if they mess up, never again." Kimmy directed the last part at Andy, who wasn't known for behaving.

"Thanks mom, you're the best" Andy said hugging his mum.

I looked at my family, and for a moment missed my mum like crazy. Seeing the mother child bond they had made me realise how much I missed out on. My mum died when I was ten, her and my dad split because of the whole Kimmy Robert thing, but my mum and I were always tight, when she died I had no one, so I lived with my Gran until I was fifteen, she trusted me enough to live on my own, though only in a small country town, in my old house. I like it there much better, I guess I looked sad or something coz Jeff slide across the couch we were sat on and held my hand, a shot of electricity shot through my hand and I quickly retracted it from his grasp, he must've felt it too because we gave each other weird looks whilst rubbing our hands. It was freaky, but at the same time I wanted to know more about it.

"So umm, if Andy and Elsie meet me by my car at midday we'll leave then, ok?" Jeff said, breaking the silence.

"Midday, you got that Andy? As in an hour before you usually surface." Aunty said pushing his buttons.

"Midday, gotcha" Andy said rolling his eyes at his mother. _Beep Beep Beep_. The smoke detector went off.

"Shit. Dinner." Kimmy cursed. "Takeout anyone?" Kimmy asked as she disappeared into the kitchen.

"Chinese?" I asked, I was craving it and hadn't had it in months.

"Your favourite food?" Jeff asked me.

"No, it's up there, but my favourite is lasagne, followed closely by shepherd's pie and spag boll" I replied.

"Pasta princess then" Jeff observed.

"Nope, not really I mean that's not why I like them, I just do. And besides there is absolutely no pasta in shepherd's pie."

"Too true, food nut" Jeff said, the last part jokingly but still.

"Alright, I'll take it, I'll guess you favourite food if you give me a food group" I said biting at his lure.

"Skittles" Jeff answered.

"Skittles?" I asked.

"Skittles" Jeff confirmed.

"Skittles aren't a food group, they're a lolly" I replied.

"Fine you name a food group"

"Chocolate" I replied…honestly I'm a chocolate fiend.

"Chocolate isn't a food group either" Jeff rebutted.

"Yes it is" What I'm a junkie. "There are so many different types, and brands so clearly it is." Jeff raised his eyebrows in consideration.

"Ok, fine, your favourite chocolate is…Hershey's kisses" Jeff said, picking a well known chocolate.

"Nope."

"Fine, it's freddo frogs"

"Really close" I replied, ok, I really should've said yes, but I'm being difficult. I love frozen fiant freddo's.

"Hmm close to freddo frogs, too bad it isn't I love freezing them before I eat them." Jeff said, as if reading my mind.

"But only the giant ones." We both said together.

"Ha. I gotcha. Your favourite chocolate is frozen giant freddos."

"Fine, you got me, unless you count Tim Tams. I absolutely love them" Technically I classify Tim Tams as a biscuit.

"What what?" Jeff asked.

"Tim Tams" Andy replied. "They don't have them here Rainy Day" Andrew told me, using a nickname he hadn't used for me in years, honestly I think he forgot…that means he talked to Bray…shit.

"You talked to Bray I see. So what has he told you?" I asked knowing that And would know I have been living on my onesies for a couple of years now, and I haven't told him…oops.

He said you moved back to the old house. You lied to me Si, why would you do that? You could've told me" Andy sounded really hurt.

"Bro, I just didn't want to worry you, that's all. I mean, Gran's great, but I feel like I'm just in the way, it's not her fault I have no one, it's you bone head uncles. What is it with the men on that side of the family?" I said trying to remove the twist in his jocks.

"Hey I'm a man in that family line! What are you saying about me?" Andy asked feigning sadness.

"You have a head on your shoulders. The other generation just has theirs up the asses" I said simply, even if it did make everyone burst out laughing.

"Anyway El, sweetie, how long are you with us this visit?" Aunty K asked.

"I really don't know Aunty. I only booked the one way, so far." I said, itching my nose. "And its not like I have anything to go back too. I finished school no." As I vocalised what I had been thinking abut for over a month. Why go back?

"Well sweet pea, you know you can stay with us, as long as you and Andy keep out of too much trouble, and off the neighbours track." Aunty Kimmy said, looking at Jeff during the last part.

"Oh no, he can use it any time, as long as it's only with his board. He can only use my bikes" Andy started coughing madly stopping Aunty K from hearing the rest of Jeff's sentence. Jeff got the hint. "When you give him permission and when I'm there." Ha, nice save Jeff. The doorbell rang, Chinese yumm. I jumped up to get the door when I remembered something.

"Yo Aunty K, I only got Aussie money, can you spot me?" money.

"You don't have to spend your money El, my treat. You should know, for as long as you stay I will cover you."

"No Aunty K, it's too generous, I can afford to pay for myself. You work too hard as it is."

"I knew you are my favourite for a reason." Aunty K said grinning. She gave me a fifty for dinner, that was like a quarter of what she makes a week, and that's for one nights food, I run to the door, pay the delivery chick and make a memo to give Aunty Kimmy some money later.

As the night went on, so did the stories about Kimmy and my boys running all over the world.

"Wow you've been everywhere, and you're only seventeen. I hadn't been outside of North Carolina when I was seventeen." Jeff said after Andy finished telling him about his time in Peru.

"Excuse me a sec" Aunty K said as the phone rang. "Hello, Oh Dan, you're at Mitch's. Ok…stay the night? Well ok, but only one…I'll see you tomorrow" Aunty Kimmy put the phone down and came back into the room. "Dan's staying at"

"At Mitch's, we know" Andy finished for her. We hadn't meant to eavesdrop but there was a gap in time, and we're just uber nosy. I looked down at Jeff's hand, which had found its way next to mine, again, and notice the time on his watch, 2am. I yawned, I never understood why when I see how late it is I yawn.

"I'm buggered, I'm gonna hit the sack so I can actually be bothered to do something tomorrow." I said as I stretched my stiff body. Kimmy nodded and smiled.

"You should hit the hay as well And, you're gonna have to be able to keep up with El tomorrow."

"Yes mum…see what you get me into Si" Andy hissed at me.

"I'm actually going to go too, it's very late, but it was nice to meet you all" Jeff shook Andy's hand, nodded to Aunty K, and kissed my hand. He kissed my hand, I was over the moon. That electric feeling was ten times bigger than before, it was awesome.

As I lay in the guest room of the four-bedroom house I was thinking about dinner, and Jeff, and my adventures here. I slowly drifted off with a smile on my face.


	4. Sometimes an ear or two is needed

I hear birds chirping, very different form the kookaburra that usually wakes me up. I did my daily back cracking ritual, and slipped a baggy shit over my trainer bra I wore to bed. I looked at the clock, 6:28am, well that was one time to wake up. I guess I'm lucky I have trouble sleeping back home; it makes the whole jet lag thing seem non-existent. Walking to the kitchen, I grab an instant coffee, nothing like a hot coffee in the morning, even if it's instant. I grabbed my coffee and headed outside, coffee and the morning air, nothing better. Being Australian I thought, early December, yea summer, as I got out of bed, stupid me stupid me. I walked our of the heated house, in my boxers and baggy shirt, and get hit with seven degree temperatures. Shit I was cold, worse still it was windy, baggy shirt, bad idea. But, hot coffee still very welcoming, so I just sucked it up and sat on a porch chair. I was rather comfy, even in the cold when I was not so rudely interrupted.

"Morning Sunshine" I hear in a southern drawl.

"Sup dude" I replied still groggy, its not that I hate mornings, I just wish they were later in the day.

"Nice to see you're a morning person"

"I can be, but only after two coffee's. And when I'm not frozen"

"Well whose fault is that really?"

"Yours Hardy, simple as that"

"I can see this whole not a morning person thing so much more clearly now" Was he not listening before? "But I must say, even if your not enjoying the cold I must say I'm enjoying your lack of effort to get a jumper" Jeff said. I immediately felt uncomfortable, cold weather, nipples, they really don't go.

"Glad my discomfort could be of service to you" I replied shortly.

"Oh trust me, so am I" he replied with enthusiasm.

"Darlin, I'm like expensive jewellery, you can look but don't think about touching." I told him, wishing he would, wow where did that come from.

"Then what's the point of having the jewellery unless you're going to wear it" Jeff rebutted, good point too.

"Or maybe I am more like a model car, you can pretend to drive it, but you get nowhere."

"Ok, now you've lost me" Jeff said, confusion etched into his features.

"Well what would happen if I were to do this?" I asked before leaning in and ever so slightly brushing my cold lips against his luscious ones for a second before leaning back.

"Ahh well then I would have to do this." Jeff said, before cupping my face with one of his hand and bringing his face to mine and he kissed me. He ran his tongue along my lip, begging for entrance, and unlike me, I granted it, slowly he began to search my mouth with his tongue, in what turned out to be a hot and passion filled kiss. I involuntarily gave a small moan into his mouth, just before he pulled back. "I would have to do that"

"Strangely enough Jeff, I don't mind too much" I said as I lifted a hand to my lips, where I could still taste him.

"Neither did I." Jeff said. "Would you like to join me for another coffee?"

"Hmm, allow the trespasser to steal me back to his house for coffee?"

"Hey, you did it yesterday"

"Well then, it's only fair."

"That it is." He said, before offering me a hand, which I willingly took. We walked to his house where as promised there was hot coffee, his house was substantially warmer than outside, but still Jeff reappeared with a hoodie, offering it to me. I was about to refuse when I remembered that I had to go back sooner or later.

"Thanks, this might come in handy." I looked at the hoodie; it was mostly black, with a purple and green HB design on it. "What's HB? Is it an American label or something?" I asked curiously.

"Nah, it's the symbol me and my brother use when we wrestle, it stands for Hardy Boyz," He explained. "Even when we don't wrestle together, we wear them to show we'll always be there for each other"

"Aww, that's cute" I cooed.

"Hey, it's not cute, and if you think it is then you can just walk home without my hoodie." He teased, at least I hope he was teasing. I quickly put on the hoodie, though it was pretty baggy on my thin, but curvy frame compared to his tall and fairly muscular one.

"Now how ya gonna get it off me?" I asked, knowing full well he could.

"Fairly simply, but then again if you died from cold, it might be my fault. Outside?" he asked holding up two cups of hot coffee.

"Definitely" We headed out to his veranda, where I saw like thirty life size sculptures of people.

"My friends." He answered without me asking.

"Makes sense" I said, thinking he was bonkers.

"No really, they make people think I have people over constantly, so they don't break in. It does work."

"Well except on me, now I know that you don't actually have people over, I might as well come over when you're not here. Maybe take a nap or watch on of your movies." I said as a joke.

"Elsie…"

"Jeff, call me El, or Si, Elsie is too formal." I said, kind of sick of the amount of times I've been called Elsie of late.

"Ok squirt, I have told you that you're always welcome here, whenever you want, for whatever reason."

"I'll hold you to that…no matter what right?"

"No matter what"

"So lets say I wanted to see you in the shower" I said half jokingly, but with all honesty, if you had the chance would you say no?

"Every morning at 8:15" He replied seriously.

"Thanks for the info" I giggled. "Or if I wanted to pig out on some food, or have a drink or two"

"Hold up, I will not be responsible if you have an alcohol problem" Jeff interjected.

"Don't worry boyo. I drink back home"

"I thought Andrew said you lived on your own." Jeff said more to himself than me.

"Yea, it's called a fake ID dummy, not that I'll need one soon though." I said thinking about my upcoming eighteenth.

"You said you were seventeen" He said in the same tone.

"Yea, my birthday's on the 18th"

"Eighteen on the eighteenth hey, but still you've gotta be twenty-one to drink legally here."

"You've gotta be shitting me…that sucks ass. You only gotta be eighteen back home"

"I shit you not, but don't worry somehow I doubt that'll stop you anyway"

"Damn straight" We sat in a comfortable silence, just drinking our coffee for some time.

"Hey Squirt, can I ask why you said you have nothing to go back to?"

"Hang on, I said I have nothing but Bray, there's a big difference"

"Ok, why have you only got a boy to go back to?"

"My dad is kinda like the opposite of Andy's…a nobody, he ditched me and my mum for his secretary as soon as he found out about me. My mum died seven years ago, in a car accident, apparently the brakes were cut. The pigs couldn't find any evidence that would stick, but I know it was fucking Rob."

"Your uncle?"

"For lack of better word, yes, anyway I lived with my Gran till two years ago, but I felt like I was imposing, so I went back to my old place. And now all I've got is Bray"

"So it's just you and your boyfri"

"Bray? My boyfriend? Darlin he don't swing my way. Buy yea, he's all I've got, Gran moved to Southern California like two months ago."

"So why don't you stay here?" Jeff asked as if he were asking what 2 and 2 make.

"Hmm lets think, Kimmy can barely afford to live now, let alone with me too, I don't have a job, or really anywhere remotely long term to stay. So please Mr Hardy, pray tell why should I stay here?"

"This" he said, as he pulled me in for another kiss, but this time when he asked for entrance into my mouth I refused. I pulled back, but then realised I was in a wrestler's house, he could literally kill me with his bare hands if he wanted to, especially since he knew I was a nobody to anyone, so instead of seeing how mad he was, I looked at my hands. "Elsie" he said as he put his hand under my chin, so I had to look at him. "I'm sorry I was out of line, I just I really like you…a lot"

"It's ok Jeff, but unfortunately we don't always get what we want"

"What do you want squirt? Anything and I'll give it to you" You.

"My mum, I miss her so much. And I, I just don't know what I want" I said as I felt a tear trickle down my cheek.

"Yea, I know how you feel. I was six when my mom died of cancer, we, me my dad and Matt were in the hospital room when she passes." The pained expression on his face made me feel worse for dampening his morning.

"Does it ever get easier?" I asked.

"Eventually, you can never replace them, but it gets easier"

"What about the other stuff? That too?"

"What other stuff" Jeff asked. FUCK!

"Other stuff?" I asked, I panicked, I hadn't meant to say that…oops.

"Yea, the other stuff you mentioned"

"That? That's nothing" I lied.

"Nothing to be bringing such a beautiful person down?"

"Yea, nothing"

"Bullshit" He said rather aggressively "but if you want to talk I'm here" Jeff said, sincerely.

"It's fine, it's in the past, can't change it so why talk about it" I said trying to avoid the issue.

"So you can get passed it. Clearly something's got you pretty wrung up, so if you ever feel like an ear, I have two."

"I don't want to bring down your morning." I said, still not believing him.

"Elsie, what's up, something's bothering you this much. I want to help"

"You promise not to go all over protective and treat me like a baby?" I asked, not wanting him to treat me like a kid. "And promise not to tell anyone" I added.

"I promise"

"Ok, well you see" This was harder than I thought. Jeff squeezed my hand in support. "Just after mum died, I was, well miserable. And the kids at school didn't get it. Not that sixth graders would but they just picked on my, coz I didn't want to say mum had died. And so I took it, but this real brat, Courtney, her brother was sixteen at the time right. So he came round to my house to see, and this was before I moved in with Gran, like two days after mum died. I was completely devo. Anyway, he comes over knocks on the door, barges in and tells me to shut up and lie down, that he was doing a test, and if I passed he'd leave, if not he'd keep testing me." I managed to get out before crying.

Jeff picked me up and carried me into his lounge room, sitting on a couch, with me lying on him. "And he…he" I choked out. "He raped me, he took something from me I can't get back." I said bitterly. "And then he laughed at me, telling me he thought I might have failed but he wasn't sure, so him and some other guys other guys would test me" Jeff rubbed my back as I relived that terrible day. "I was raped that day…five teenagers raped me. All of them got away." That was it for me, nothing else could come out, I was bawling on some guy's couch, I hardly know him, and I hadn't told anyone, not even my cousins.

After a while I managed to compose myself enough to speak again. "Shit, Jeff you've gotta promise not to tell anyone. No one knows, your and my secret yea?"

"But what about your Gran, she knows right?" Jeff asked.

"No I was still at home, she didn't know mum had died, I ran to her house the next afternoon. I was so scared, I couldn't go to that school ever again. I changed schools, moved back to a house near where I lived till I was eight. Jeff you can't tell ANYONE promise?"

"Promise"

"Thank you" I just lay in his embrace, listening to his heartbeat. Tears streaming down my cheeks. We lay there for hours, I looked at the clock, 10:17am. Shit, Aunty Kimmy would be up soon. "Jeff, thank you so much for listening to my crap, I don't know what I'd do without this chat. I think it really helped."

"Squirt, that's ok. I promise, anytime you need an ear, I got two"

"Thanks Jeff, I gotta head back, Aunty Kimmy will be getting up soon, if I'm careful I can sneak back into bed no questions asked. I'll see you later yea?"

"Yea later squirt".

I ran as fast as I could back to Aunty Kimmy's house. Silently opened the back door, and crept up to the guest room. I took of the hoodie Jeff had lent me, boy it had come in use. And the baggy shirt, hid the hoodie, and slipped under the covers. I actually felt exhausted after my little spiel to Jeff, maybe a nap would help. I drifted into a calmer than usual sleep, thanks in big part to one Jeff Hardy.


	5. bikes and movies

I rolled over, hit the alarm clock I thought had blasted me awake, nothing, still a loud as shit noise. I roll to the other side, crack an eye open ever so slowly, the culprit, well culprits, should I say. I see Andy and Jeff, air horn in hands. I should've known that fruit loop boy had something to do with it. I rolled back over, facing away from then, and groaned.

"Come on Squirt, get your ass up, I've been up since 6:30" Said the person who knew damn well I'd been up earlier, just pushing my buttons.

"Oi, trespasser, get out of my" I took a breath before yelling "ROOM"

"Trespasser, I don't think so, see Andy here invited me in" I groaned I was definitely gonna have to kill Andy, but at least fruit loop was keeping his word, he wasn't treating me any different, or by the looks of it at least hadn't told Andy.

"Is it true Rainy Day?" Andy asked, no wait, he had…dammit Jeff Hardy.

"Is what true _Cotton Candy_?" I asked, emphasising the nickname he hates.

"Don't call me that"

"You started it"

"Anyway is it true that you and Jeff had coffee this morning?" Either Jeff had told him and this was Andy's way of seeing if it were true, or he had just said something about coffee.

"Why would Jeff tell you something like that?" I asked, forgetting for a minute that he was in the room.

"Because Elsie dear, Andy here thought you had been sleeping soundly until 2pm. So I merely corrected him." Jeff came back into the conversation.

"Does Aunty K know?" say exactly what was on my mind.

"Not that we know of. I think she thinks you finally had jet lag" Andy said, I was finally thankful for the twenty-three hour flight I had had the day before.

"Good that's how it stays" I said, finally rolling back over to look at the duo.

"You're giving us commands? Don't think so kiddo," Andy said, glancing at Jeff who nodded. "We won't tell, IF you come back to the motocross course with us."

"Fine Andy, but for the record I am not doing any jumps or anything, I'm just watching, ok?" I asked, fearful of their answer.

"Ok, today you just watch" Jeff answered. Phew, I got out of it for today.

"Right, now piss off so I can get dressed" I said.

"Language much?" Jeff exclaimed almost appalled.

"Australian much. It's like slang there, not offensive to like anyone" I replied, Andy nodded.

"Righto then, I'm going to go make you some coffee, I don't want to see you on the course without any in your system" Jeff said.

"Aww man, that would be like suicidal if we did that to ourselves" Andy joked along with Jeff…at my expense. I rolled off the bed, being too lazy to just get up. Found a pair of jeans, remembering how cold it was I opted for thicker ones, instead of my usual skinnies, grabbed a tight fitting shirt, to show off my curves that read, _Only in your imagination_. Grabbed that hoodie that Jeff gave me, not actually having any winter jumpers. Being the complete Bogan I am I left mine on the plane.

I walked to the kitchen; hoodie zipped all the way up, and baggy as ever. When I walked into the kitchen to grab my promised coffee, Andy's eyes bugged out.

"What?"

"Dude you gave her merch?" Andy asked Jeff completely ignoring me, but by his question it is completely obvious that he's jealous of my hoodie.

"Dude it was like freezing this morning, she didn't have anything on"

"WHAT?" Andy roared.

"Hello dip shit, what? You think I'm gonna go outside nude? Hell no, I was in my boxers and baggy shirt." I replied after I had rolled my eyes at Jeff's stupidity.

"Oh right, nothing _warm_ on"

"Exactly. We going?" Jeff asked.

"No"

"What, why not squirt?"

"Because Skittles, you haven't given me my friggin coffee yet." Jeff handed me a cup of coffee, which I gratefully accepted, and drank in a gulp.

"There, coffee's drunk, now lets get out of here." Jeff walked out the kitchen door; clearly he knew the house better that I did already. Andy followed him, but I stayed put, Andy looked at me, then cleared his throat. Jeff turned around, seeing I still in the kitchen he came back towards me; here the we had a deal speech. Great. I stood with my arms folded in wait, but instead of talking he picked me right up off the ground and slung me over his shoulder. Great, no lecture just my neighbours ass in front of my face. I could live with this, back home if I was this close to my neighbours ass I would be dead, but when the neighbour is as hot as this boy, I can live with it.

"What was with the Skittles before anyway?" Jeff asked as I was staring at his ass.

"What's with the squirt" I retaliated.

"It's true, you're a squirt, and you said not to call you Elsie so I wanted a nickname just for me" Jeff rationalised. "Now what's with Skittles?"

"Have you not seen your hair lately?" I asked, his newly dyed purple and red hair glistening in the afternoon light.

"Do you like it?" Jeff asked me.

"It's very different, but then again I've know you all of what a day. Anyway, your hair is a million different colours, and so are the flavours of skittles, and you said last night they were you favourite food group, so I gave you the nickname so I had one just for me."

"Makes sense then."

"Yep yep" we went back to the comfortable silence where I stared at his ass, until suddenly I was brought out of my ass-staring trance, and brought over his shoulder and placed gently on the ground.

We had made it to Jeff's shed, Andy had his trusty skateboard and Jeff was looking at his key ring the key to the shed. After like thirty seconds of nothing he gave up, reaching down to this flower by the door and just picking it up, fake flower in pot, then he picked up a flower out of the pot. Clearly boy, not under the doormat like most people. He opened the door and entered, as Andy followed, curious I went in too. In his shed, Jeff had like a billion different bikes. He had like five quads, three or four Ducati's a Harley or two, like sic pocket bikes and like three bmx's. Andy dropped his board, either in excitement or shock, Jeff went and picked it up.

"What's your vehicle of choice Ands?" Jeff asked. It became clear to me that Jeff was using the board and Andy was using one of Jeff's beasties.

"So how long is Aunty K gone for Andy?" I asked as I had placed the pieces together.

"She went to work, she has the bitch shift. 1pm till 3am." Shit poor Aunty K.

"What about Dan? Where's he?" I asked, realising I hadn't seen him since they picked me up.

"Dan's at a school decathlon or something like that."

"Why aren't you there?" I asked.

"Didn't wanna go watch"

"Not what I meant"

"Si, please, we've had this convo too many times ok. Just let me have some fun."

"Alright Andy, I'm sorry."

"It's ok. Now let's go have some fun" he replied having made his choice, a black and red 125cc quad.

"Nice choice dude, that's one of my favs. Just watch the breaks, you gotta let into them or you'll go over top." Jeff warned Andy, who hopefully was listening.

"You sure you don't want a go Squirt?"

"I'm good"

"Alright then, come 'ere then" I followed Jeff over to a massive log, and sat down. "Comfy?" Jeff asked.

"Yep. Go have fun." I said before he could ask any more questions.

Andy and Jeff got right into each other's babies' as Andy referred to them. Andy was actually taking to Jeff's quad better than Jeff was to Andy's board. Jeff stacked it like fifteen times; Andy only went over the handlebars once.

Within half an hour of watching them, I unzipped my, well Jeff's hoodie half way to show my shirt underneath. Jeff glanced over to me and stacked it again. This last one was pretty bad though, he landed on his left shoulder/upper arm, and it was a pretty gross sight I must say. That was it for him, because I said so. I ran over to him to help him up and off the track. Andy rode to us, and that was it for the day. We walked back to Jeff's house, on the way there, Jeff and I had fallen behind Andy.

"You know I crashed because of you right?" Jeff said.

"Me? How was it my fault?" I asked, hurt.

"Well not you, your body" Jeff said, great here we go again.

"Mr Hardy, I believe you checked out my rack this morning" I said, as I remembered how cold it had been.

"Yea, but your shirt, come on. You must know about me right." He said.

"Yea, you're my neighbour. You wrestle, have a championship match Monday" and in an undertone I added. "And you're a fantastic kisser"

"You're not too bad yourself" SHIT he heard me…"But my property. I call it Imag-I-nation. You didn't know?"

"No"

"Well, you're in my Imag-I-nation. So does that mean what I think it does." Jeff said, I was unsure to his intentions behind it was, I think he was just having a go, but his expression wasn't readable.

"Great, almost eighteen years of faithful shirts and my favourite one fail me. I'm not going to stand for this." I said as I completely undid the hoodie, handing it to Jeff, who gave me a 'are you serious' look. I rolled my eyes. "It says only in your imagination, I'm clearly in your Imag-I-nation, so I need to fix something." I said, before pulling the shirt over my head leaving me in my black and purple bra.

"I thought you were going to fix the problem, that just made the lines between imagination and reality a whole lot worse" Jeff said looking at my fairly toned stomach.

"Clearly I am not longer allowing you ANYTHING in your imagination" I said as I made a grab for my, _the_ hoodie, but he held it out of my reach. "Come on Skittles, it's fucking cold, please can I have the hoodie back?"

"I'm having more fun like this though" Jeff replied.

"You're so mean." I said before I ran over to him, only to have him run away, still holding the hoodie. "Hardy give me the hoodie I'm freezing" I had stopped chasing him and was sitting with my legs bent, and my arms around my legs, trying to use some non existent body warmth, but my teeth still decided to chatter.

"Oh shit, sorry squirt, quick put the hoodie on" I obliged almost immediately. "Come here, I'm sorry" he said as he opened his arms so I could hug him. I stood up and gave him a hug, feeling his warmth spread through me like fire. This couldn't be entirely body warmth could it?

He started walking towards his house, I really didn't want to so I stayed still, he lifted my feet off the ground and still hugging me carried me back to his house. Him holding me, and my shirt. As we walked into his kitchen, Andy was going through Jeff's fridge, I'm guessing for a drink. When Jeff shut the door, Andy turned and for a second looked like a wombat caught in headlights, before turning a dangerous shade of red.

"What the fuck? Did why do you have her shirt…and her?" Andy, having taken on his over protective role asked Jeff.

"Andy, please calm down okay. Nothing happened I promise." I said hoping in between Jeff and Andy.

"Bull, if nothing happened then how the fuck did he end up with your shirt?" Andy asked still angry.

"Andy, please, it was a joke, his property is Imag-I-Nation. So he was giving me a hard time because of what my shirt says" I gulped and looked at Jeff for my own verification of what I had just said. "And so I took it off, _under_ my hoodie and threw it at him" I lied, well only the last part. Andy looked at Jeff for his confirmation, and I raised my eyebrows as if to threaten agree.

"Yea bro, didn't see a thing" Andy relaxed a great deal at the sound of this. Too bad it's not true.

"Skittles, let's go get your arm cleaned up a little" I said, using it as an excuse to leave the room.

"Only if you'll watch a movie with me after"

"Great, now you're holding me hostage."

"Pretty much" Jeff and I left hand in hand to take care of his arm. If only he knew how I felt when he simply touched me. I blame my dream, I swear that's part of the reason I like him. Did I say that? Must've. After he was patched up, we sat in his lounge room, Andy went home to have a shower and get changed, luckily for me he had a date tonight, he said he'd leave a note for Aunty K saying where I was if I fell asleep.

We were about to start watching The Simpson's movie; I swear Jeff is really eighteen trapped in a twenty-four year olds body. The movie was about to start when the doorbell rang. I looked at Jeff questioningly. Great this is where I look like a fool because his girlfriend comes in. Jeff shrugged, and went to the door.

Five minutes later Jeff and this other guy came back in the room. Trying to be polite and not eavesdrop I started watching the movie without Jeff and I had lay down on his couch, engrossed in the movie. I didn't notice them, but when Jeff lay behind me I jumped like a meter in the air. Jeff and the guy just laughed at me.

"Squirt, I'd like you to meet…"


	6. brothers and couches

**I still haven't managed to find a way to own people. It's short, I know. Get over it. xoxo**

* * *

I jumped like a meter in the air. Jeff and the guy just laughed at me.

"Squirt, I'd like you to meet my brother, Matt. Matt this is Elsie." Jeff's brother, interesting.

"Hi"

"Hey Elsie"

"So, you're the wrestling brother right?" I asked, not knowing much about Jeff, but that a brother and him wrestle.

"Yea, you don't watch it?"

"Australian" I answered, said it all to me.

"You know they're bring it out there in like a month"

"Really?"

"Yea, on cable"

"Oh" I said disappointed. Now when I get home, I still can't watch it.

* * *

**Matt's POV**

When I rang Jeff last night he told me he'd met a chick, I thought he meant like another wrestler…or at least someone his age, this chick can't even be legal. But when they were on the couch together there was so much chemistry, I doubt the queen herself could deny it.

"So you're the new neighbour I hear."

"Umm sorta, my Aunt is, and I was kinda visiting" Great, just fucking great. Jeff meets a girl, and she's here on a fucking holiday. "But I was thinking of staying" She said, not actually looking at me, but Jeff.

"Yea, I think you'll like it here."

"How can you say? You've just met me"

"It's just a really nice place to be." New subject I think. "So Elsie, what are you into?"

"What'd you mean?"

"Like do you have a job or collage or anything?"

* * *

**Elsie's POV**

"Like do you have a job or collage or anything?" Fan-fucking-tastic.

"Oh right, well I'm a waitress, I finished high school like a month ago. It's not much, and I know it's not a career but it pays the bills" I answered, trying to sound mature, I don't really know why, it's not like Jeff and I are dating…Phew how good does that sound really.

"The bills? I thought you just finished high school?"

"Yea, I live on my own. My father, for lack of a better word, bailed on my mum when she was pregnant and mum died seven almost eight years ago."

"I'm sorry"

"Why? Did you cut the breaks of her car?" More fucking sympathy.

"No, who would possibly be inhumane enough to do that?" If only you knew Matt.

"Then you have nothing to be sorry for." I said simply enough.

* * *

**Jeff's POV**

"Then you have nothing to be sorry for." Elsie simply said. Matt and I exchanged glances. Man Elsie's self esteem is shot. Life and death isn't that simple, and she's brushing off things left and right. I know that having been through what she has would take its toll, but this is nuts. She seems like a shell, like everything she does is an act. Clearly she trusts me enough to let me in on her biggest secret, maybe in time she will trust me enough to see the real her.

"Anyway bro, I see you're busy, so I'll talk to you later." Matt said excusing himself.

"Yea, ok"

"It was a pleasure to meet you Elsie"

"Pleasure's all mine" Elsie said, being polite. Matt and I left the room; I have a feeling he wants to talk to me about Elsie.

"Bro that chick's majorly spaced out. That aint normal in there. In a word, she's a freak. You don't need someone like her around you." He had pushed the boundary. I like Elsie, a lot, and even if I didn't, she's a human bein.

"Fuck you Matt" I said with a raised voice. "You don't know the first fucking thing about her, or what her life has been like. So fuck you. I do believe you were leaving," I yelled opening the door, showing him he wasn't welcome anymore.

* * *

**Elsie's POV**

As Matt and Jeff left, I turned my attention back to the movie, not two minutes had passed when Jeff started yelling, I walked over to eth doorframe of the room, listening to what upset Jeff.

"You don't know the first fucking thing about her, or what her life has been like. So fuck you. I do believe you were leaving." Jeff yelled at his brother. Fuck this was all over fucking me. Just fucking perfect, Jeff and his only brother are fighting, over me, why didn't I just stay in Australia, then none of this would have happened. Jeff having been staring at the door turned around and saw me standing there, my eyes brimming with tears. "How much did you hear?" Jeff asked.

"I came in on you don't know her" I answered truthfully. "Jeff, why did you say that? I don't matter." I said looking down.

"Of course you matter" Great here comes the insincere spiel about how important life id. "You matter more than you will ever know, there isn't enough skittles in the world to make up how beautiful and special you are." Jeff said, and as I looked into his eyes, I saw honesty, concern, and something I couldn't put my finger on. But just knowing someone, anyone thought well anything about me, and noticed me. That was new, a new feeling I hadn't experienced before. Well I mean mum and Aunty K and the boys they notice me, I'm family, but I mean I have never been anything to anyone before. "Andy you have a nice ass" Jeff added. I laughed at his direct statement, but there were tears in my eyes from what he had said before. "Please don't cry squirt" Jeff said as he wiped the tears from under my eyes with the pad of his thumb.

As he had done earlier that day, Jeff opened his arms offering me a hug, I graciously accepted. But when I hugged him back, he picked me up, and brought me into the lounge again, where the movie was still playing. He lay on the couch, and with the way he carried me I was on top of him so he rolled over, so that he was lying behind me and I was facing his chest. I rolled over and that's how we lay until we both drifted into a peaceful sleep. We stayed there till morning, with me having a fantastic dream about Jeff, instead of my usual ones about being raped or mum's funeral.


	7. secret confessions

As the sun rose that lovely Monday morning, Jeff and Elsie slept on his couch, Jeff with an arm securely around Elsie, Elsie with her head on top of one of Jeff's arms and comfortably nestled into his chest. As Jeff woke up he looked down at Elsie, and just lay there holding her.

I felt Jeff's eyes on me.

"Stop staring at me" I said, eyes still closed, I swear, Jeff jumped about a meter into the air.

"Sorry, I didn't know you were awake"

"Well I'm not" I replied, eyes still shut, and then I just curled into Jeff's body more. Not a good idea. He picked me up, but because I'm stubborn I kept my eyes shut, refusing to open them.

"You wanna open your eyes Squirt?" Fat chance boyo. "I gave you a chance" He said, before unzipping the hoodie he gave me yesterday morning, so I was down to my jeans and bra combo again. Why the fuck did he take my jumper off, I'm fucking cold now. "One, Two" Whatever is gonna happen it'll happen after three. "Three." The next thing I know I'm even colder that I was before, and wet.

"Asshole, why'd you do that?" I asked after I had come up from being thrown in his pool.

"I did give you a fair chance to wake up. But now I guess you won't need coffee." Jeff joked. I got out of his pool, and begun walking towards him.

"Nope, just a good morning hug" I said, as I predicted he took off running, but I was prepared, so I ran after him, me being smaller and having made the state team in track, caught him easily, hugging and wetting him as payback.

"Shit Squirt, you're shivering. Come on let's get you dry and warm before you get sick" He walked me back into his house, where he got a fluffy blue towel. "Bathroom's the third door on your left."

"Hey, umm could I have a shower while I'm wet and here?"

"Yea sure"

* * *

**Jeff's POV**

"Hey, umm could I have a shower while I'm wet and here?"

"Yea sure" Elsie disappeared down the hall and into the bathroom, she emerged a minute later in just the blue towel.

"Do you have a dryer by chance? These jeans are soaked." She held out the jeans as proof.

"Oh, yea, pass em here, I got it" I took her clothes, or what was left anyway. Then it dawned on me, Elsie is gonna need some clothes to wear. "I'll go on a search for something you can wear while you have your shower, I'll leave them by the door, ok" I asked. Elsie nodded and then retreated to the bathroom. I went to the dryer and put her stuff on for half an hour. Then walked up the four steps that separated my bedroom from my living areas, to find Elsie some clothes. Clothes, clothes, what would fit her? Nothing I own would fit her though.

Baggy Hardy Boyz shirt should be fine, but she can't go around in a shirt commando, well she could but she wouldn't be in the shirt for long if I had my way. What about some old wrestling gear, from when I started, that might be closer to fitting. So I walk downstairs, put the Hardy shirt outside the door and go down to the basement. My house looks like a one story house, but the basement is underground. Down in the basement, I walked passed my home gym and into another room, my wrestling room, it contained all of my wrestling things, from old footage on the trampoline to wwe figurines and merchandise, and of course, all my old costumes. The smallest thing I had is a pair of cargo's I wore when Matt and I put on a show with OMEGA, our wrestling brand, I'd been fifteen at the time, so they should be a close enough fit for Elsie.

I closed the door to my wrestling room, walked back up to my living space, only to find Elsie on the couch, in just my shirt. And shit she looked mighty fine. At that moment I found myself imagining just having slept with her, and she was wearing my shirt. It was a perfect dream. If only it were real.

* * *

Elsie's POV

Jeff having only left me a shirt, I did all I could to cover myself. Luckily the shirt was enormous, actually the shirt ended just under my butt. I thought he was just being a bit pervy like he was yesterday with my shirt, but in his hand were a pair of cargo pants, that in no way would fit him.

"Pants much?" I said.

"Oh right, yea no, I was trying to find you something, and I thought you could wear these." He said holding out the pants in his hands.

"Great, girlfriend pants" I said sarcastically.

"Hey, these are mine thank you very much"

"Yea, and I wear a size 22" I said in the same sarcastic tone.

"No, seriously, back from when I was fifteen, I keep anything I wrestle in as memories." He said, before adding "And I don't have a girlfriend. I did about six months ago, but I broke up with her after I found out she cheated on me with someone I considered a friend."

"Oh Jeff, I'm so sorry, I didn't know."

"It's ok, I really like someone at the moment anyway"

"Lucky you. I think I might like someone but I can never tell him." I said before taking his pants, quickly leaving the room, and putting them on. They fit, well they were a little baggy, but they pretty much fit.

"Why?" Jeff asked as soon as he saw me.

"Why what?" I answered with a question.

"Why can't you tell the person you like?" He asked.

"Well it's kinda complicated, but short end, he doesn't like me, and he likes someone else"

"What a dickshit, who wouldn't like you, you're gorgeous and stunning" Jeff complimented me. Little did he know he was the dickshit.

"Well what's your excuse? Why don't you tell the girl you like her?"

"Because she doesn't believe that she's half as magnificent as she is, I've told her I think she's the shit, but I haven't out and said how much I like her though, I mean you know the love at first sight, well It's kinda like that. I think I might actually be falling for her."

"Love sucks," I said. "It's too complicated."

"I don't think so"

"So tell the chick how you feel about her."

"I just did." Jeff said, whilst playing with his nail polish.

"When? I didn't know you were on the phone"

"No Squirt, it's you." He said, before making an excuse to leave. "I think the dryer is done" As he stood up, so did I, blocking his way. "Come on Squirt, we can just act like nothing happened, it doesn't have to ruin a friendship."

"But can't you see it already has." Elsie said, Jeff felt like a dagger had just pierced his heart. "Can't you see we can't have a friendship anymore, it has to develop into that much more, because the guy I like. The guy I like has skittles on the brain, and hair. The guy I like just told me he liked me. The guy I like is you Jeff." I said, before grabbing the collar of his shirt and bringing his face down to my level where our lips connected in a blast of passion and almost hunger. We broke the kiss after we heard a loud crash.


	8. the raw end of things

**I own as much as Ziggy the bagman.

* * *

**"The guy I like is you Jeff." I said, before grabbing the collar of his shirt and bringing his face down to my level where our lips connected in a blast of passion and almost hunger. We broke the kiss after we heard a loud crash. 

We both turned around to see Andrew standing there, his skateboard on the ground where he had dropped it.

"Andy, umm listen…" I started to say, but he cut me off.

"It's ok, really, I heard what you both said, I guess I'm happy for you both, but that kiss, wow. And Jeff, wrestler or not you hurt her in any way and I promise you I'll kill you."

"I wouldn't ever"

"Good, then lets get out of here, I do believe you promised to take us to a show today" Shit the show, I can't go yet, my jeans are wet, and I'm commando at the moment.

"Give me a sec ok" I said having turned to Andy, then back to Jeff mouthing 'dryer' to him, needing to find my undies and bra.

"Yea, just let me go get my bag and we'll be set" Jeff added. We walked off towards his laundry, luckily enough that's where his bag was. I grabbed my damp articles of clothing and dashed to the dunny. I stripped off and got dressed back into Jeff's clothes, and went back to the lounge room to grab my volleys. Clearly the whole I'm a waitress and can't afford Converse is showing again. As Jeff reappeared I immediately smiled.

"Got a belt I can borrow Skittles?"

"Sorry Squirt no can help you. Didn't you have one on earlier though, black material one I believe." Damn Hardy, had to be right. I ran to the bathroom where I had my shower, grabbed the belt to hold the baggy pants up. We piled into Jeff's Corvette and we headed into Raleigh.

The drive seemed to disappear before my eyes, after I had gotten used to Jeff's driving of course. The next thing I knew we were entering the arena Carpark. I was about to have my very first wrestling experience, with my new beau. Jeff parked the car, we got out, and Jeff got his bag for the boot. We walked to what I'm guessing was the back entrance of the arena, the security guard looked at Jeff who pulled two passes out and gave them to me and Andy, I put mine over my head and the security guard let us in.

"What about the security you promised Aunty K?" I asked, having been reminded by the door bitch.

"I'm glad you asked that Squirt" Jeff said before taking off down the hall. I immediately followed Jeff, and Andy followed me.

"Where are we headed?" I asked Jeff.

"To get your security of course." We walked all over the back area of the arena, Andy looked like a kid in a toy store, the way he was acting around the wrestlers. Jeff stopped outside a door marked APA and knocked. I figured APA must be the security that the wwe hired.

"The APA? Are you kidding? The APA are the extra security?" Andy seemed mega excited, guess I was wrong.

"Only the best. Bradshaw owed me a favour, so you're it." A tall white guy with a haircut that looked like a two year old had done it answered the door.

"Hardy" The guy greeted Jeff.

"JBL, this here is my girl, Elsie, and her cousin Andrew, these are the two that have the APA's protection tonight. If anyone and I mean _anyone_ comes near them you know what to do. Fan's included. Yes you can take them to the ring for a segment, but no you can't say how you know them."

"So how do I bring them into our segment?"

"You owed a friend a favour…simple" Jeff answered, there was going to be no compromise. "And JBL, someone wants these kids dead, this is serious, OK"

"Alright Hardy, I'll watch em good for you"

"Thanks Bradshaw" Jeff said before getting out a sharpie and adding to the APA sign, Jeff Hardy.

"Hardy you're pushing it"

"Were you listening at all?"

"Fine just get in." We entered the room to find a black guy with a shirt that had DAMN written on it.

"Ron my man, what's up?" Jeff asked the guy.

"Nothing much man" Then he saw Andy and I, Andy was wide eyed again. The Ron guy appeared to be looking for specific words before almost shouting, "DAMN".

"Man, don't worry, they're not fans, they are in the APA's protection tonight"

"Oh, ok then. Hey, I'm Ron, Ron Simmons"

"Hey, I'm Elsie" I replied. "And this is Andrew" I added, remembering how he was with Jeff.

"Rainy Day, the thunder's rolling in, lightning conductor is up, and I'm soaked." Andy said to me, in a sort of code we have going.

"Jeez Cotton Candy, your stick dropped, go sit on the merry go round and wait for the clown to come." I responded

"What did they just say?" Ron asked Jeff.

"No idea" Jeff replied. "Ay Squirt, what'd you say?"

"Elsie, today is absolutely awesome, I'm meeting superstars, I'm so excited.' and then I said, 'Jeez Andy, you're acting like an idiot, go take some deep breathes then come back when you're calm'" I replied as if it were simple. Which in reality it was.

'Goth, code, man that's so old."

"Old but effective" I added. JBL came back in the room, and slumped onto a bench.

"Now you have your own sign on the door Hardy."

"Thanks man"

"It won't happen again"

"Cotton Candy, his stick is so far up the caramelised apple that he has no core."

"What the hell is that kid talking about?" JBL asked. Everyone else burst out laughing.

"Well I think she just said that you had a pole up your ass and that you are boring" Jef said, and I nodded.

"Little slut, you can't talk to me like that, I am a wrestling god." Bradshaw said aggravated. Jeff jumped to his feet.

"Bradshaw, don't you ever talk about my girl like that…ever. You still owe me, I don't trust you with someone this special." And with that Jeff stormed out of the room with Andy and I in tow, Andy just as angry as Jeff.

In his anger, Jeff ripped his sign off the door, and we walked to his old dressing room. When we were there Jeff dumped his stuff and Andy dumped his board.

"Come on guys, we gotta go visit the boss"

"You mean McMadMan?" Andy asked excitedly.

"Yea, but please call him McMahon. We gotta find someone important." Jeff left the room again, this time off to find his boss. When we reached a door that had a sign saying 'Vince McMahon, Chairman' on the front, Jeff knocked.

"Come In" A deep voice wafted through the door. Jeff walked in with me following him like glue, and Andy a little more reluctant than me. "Jeff what can I do for you tonight?" Vice asked, glancing up as Jeff entered the room.

"Well Vince, you see" Jeff started clearly nervous. It really got me thinking what was the whole rule thing with guests. "Umm well I brought some visitors today, well I gave them the backstage passes that I got in the raffle last week." At the information that they had guests, Mr. McMahon seemed rather irritated.

"Jeff son, why would you bring your guests in here, they should be exploring and enjoying their stay. I will get Paul to come and introduce them to the talent." Vince said reaching for the phone. I looked at Jeff, unsure about any new people, he gave me a nod, telling me Paul was ok, he leaned in and added,

"Paul's a great guy, Vinnie Mac and I need some privacy that's all. It'll be fine babe." Before kissing my forehead. Vince hung up the phone and Jeff tuned his attention back to his boss.

"Paul will be here in a minute." He said, before returning to his gaze to his paperwork in front of him, most likely waiting until Andy and I left. A couple of minutes later there was a knock at Mr McMahon's door. "Come in" A really, and I mean really big guy with long blonde hair and a handle bar moe entered the room. "Paul, I need you to take our guest on a tour today." Vince said to the guy who walked in.

"Yea, alright" I'm not sure why but he seemed so much more relaxed to be talking to his boss than Jeff did. "Come on you two, let's get going" He said to Andy and I before opening the door. "See you in the ring Hardy." Once we were all out of Mr McMahon's office he introduced himself. "Hey, I'm Paul, also known to the public as"

"Triple H" Andy finished for him.

"Yea," Paul replied, "And you are?"

"I'm Andy and this is Elsie"

"So how do you know Jeff?"

"I'm his neighbour, and she's his girl, I believe I heard him yelling at JBL earlier" Andy said smirking.

"So you don't know each other then?" Paul asked, assuming, correctly I might add, that we came together.

"No, we do" I said. "We just have a very different relationship with Jeff."

"You're lucky I'm not firing you, you know the policy about backstage passes, they do not, ever come into admin areas, and that includes my office." We heard Vince yell. I groaned.

"What've I done?" I wondered, praying I hadn't cost Jeff his job.

"I think that's our cue to exit" Paul said trying to lighten the mood. "Vinnie Mac is just uptight because he prefers us to date other wrestlers, its easier on the schedules and the heart." Paul explained.

"But he doesn't know we're together."

"Honey, he knows, I knew before you told me. The way you and Jeff interact shows you care about each other. So anyway where do you kids wanna go?"


	9. jobs and jerseys

**Jeff's POV**

"You're lucky I'm not firing you, you know the policy about backstage passes, they do no, ever come into admin areas, this includes my office" Vince yelled at me once Elsie and Andrew had left.

"Vince, I'm sorry it's just these ones are different."

"I'm sure, but Hardy you have exactly a minute to explain why you did what you did before I change the results of your match tonight." Vince threatened. I gulped.

"Ok, they are my neighbours. I gave them the passes because they seem cool, and I want to get to know them. But I found out some stuff, and it's rather bad and they just need to have someone trustworthy to watch them for me."

"Why on earth would I allow anyone to look after them? You've already broken rules tonight Hardy."

"Christ Vinnie Mac, the boy, Andy, his father is stalking them, he wants them fucking dead man, I can't just leave them, not knowing if they're alright." My outburst apparently rattled Vince, because he had a really startled look on his face. It would've been funny if I wasn't so petrified about loosing my job.

"Right, well then, I guess I can understand this once, but one more slip up Hardy and I'll crack shit. Now who do you want to look after them?"

"I was thinking DX. They both have kids, and Paul has the extra status because of him and Steph. And I still want Elsie and Andy to have fun." I reasoned.

"Need I remind you Hardy you have a match with Paul tonight."

"I know" I replied as soon as he finished the sentence. "But Shawn basically has the night off, and I was thinking maybe there could be a DX one night only type thing, so Shawn would come to the ring and try to interfere but Elsie would stop him and I win."

"This could work, but two kids on TV? I'm not too sure about that."

"Well if it helps any, Elsie is trying to find a job, maybe you could make a romantic storyline between her and me. She could be a Diva." I added, the thought just coming to me.

"So you come up here, to try and get some girl a job" Vince was clearly getting angrier by the second.

"No Vince. I just had the wave blast, and thought it could work. Then you have DX pranks occurring, with the help of Andy." I added, knowing DX pranks get higher ratings.

"You trying to find him a job too?"

"No, just Elsie, she wants to stay I think, but I think she's kinda looking for a reason too."

"Stay?"

"She's from Australia"

"Well Jeff, I think your plan might just work. But because I am going to try and help you for the night, you have ten minutes to find Paul, the kids and Shawn and bring them here." Vince said looking at his watch.

I practically ran out of Vince's office, ten minutes, not long to go through the whole backstage area. I looked at the room allocations map that was next to Vince's door. Right Shawn wasn't too far away, I could get him easy, then all I'd have to do is find Elsie and I'd be ok. I ran full on to Shawn's room, knocking impatiently until he answered.

"What can I do for you Jeff?" Shawn asked, wondering why the kid was there.

"A lot, but first are Paul and two teenagers here?"

"No, they left about five minutes ago."

"Right, ok, do you know where they went?"

"The Rookies locker room I think." Shawn said, as soon as he said it, I grabbed his arm and started to run towards the locker room. "Hardy, what's going on?" Shawn asked, still running.

"Change of plans for the show" Jeff replied. "DX one night only."

"Really? Let's go then" Shawn began to pick up the pace, as they looked for Paul and Elsie. When they reached the Rookies locker room, which of course had to be the farthest place from Vinnie Mac's office. Shawn and I entered without knocking. "Has anyone seen Paul? He has two kids with them."

"Yea, he left like two minutes ago Michaels, I think he was showing them the ring." And with that me and Shawn were out the door. As we reached the gorilla, we looked around to see if the group had just left, we couldn't see them so we walked down the ramp, and much to my luck, Paul was sat on a corner ring post, while Elsie was standing in the middle of the ring, Andy however was nowhere to be seen.

"Squirt" Elsie looked at me, Paul who hadn't noticed us gave us a weird look. "Where's And?" I asked, just then Andrew popped his head out from under the ring. "Ok, good, we've got to go see Vinnie Mac, all of us." With that everyone had stated walking towards Shawn and I.

* * *

**Elsie's POV**

As we were walking to Shawn and Jeff's boss, and as I found out earlier, Paul's father in law, which kinda scared me a little. I wondered why Mr McMahon could possibly want to see Andy and me, I mean, we're nobody's. Before I had even processed a single explanation we were standing outside his office, and Jeff had knocked on the door.

"Come in" Came Vince's voice. We all entered, Jeff first, this time me last. I was so nervous about the amount of power the man before me had, that I was about ready to pull my hair out. "You know why you're here yes?" Vince asked looking at us all.

Shawn nodded but when Mr McMahon looked at Paul he shook his head, signalling that he, as well as Andy and I had no clue why we were there. "Jeff had an idea. I like it, so it's happening." Vince said with authority. We all looked at Jeff, and for a good minute he stood in silence. I think he was either seriously out of it, or he was trying to find the right way to say his idea.

"Ok, because of some interesting little twists of fate" He began. "I'm asking you guys, people I trust and respect to look out for Squirt and And for tonight." Paul was about to interject when Jeff, as if reading his mind answered his unasked question. "I know we have a match, but this is what's happening, DX will be back, tonight only, you guys get to pull your stunts and you get the use of Andrew here for that, but there is a scene in your locker room with both of them, Andrew being all for being an honorary member of DX but Elsie is against it." Jeff said, loving his idea. "Andrew and DX will be causing their usual havoc around the place. During our match, DX music plays, and you all come out, during the match, Shawn is gonna try and interfere when Paul is down, but Elsie stops it, and I win." Jeff said, including the already scripted victory.

"So what does that mean about me?" I asked, curious as to what would happen after I help Jeff win.

"Well if you're up to it Elsie, there is a learning contract here for you." Vince interjected.

"Learning Contract?"

"You would be a Diva, travel with Jeff and us, do some interviews while we train you to be an in-ring competitor." Paul explained.

"What'd you say?" Vince asked, offering me a contract to read over.

"You, you did this for me?" I asked looking at Jeff.

"No, I did this as a promise to your aunt, I just think that this could boost ratings and it means you have some sort of job right." He said in reference to the conversation we had the morning before.

"That you, all of you so much." I said, tears burning the back of my eyes. I didn't know whether I should take the offer though, I mean that's huge. I need to talk to Andy I think. It was times like this I am thankful for the ridiculous code us kids made up.

"Cotton Candy, Do you think I should go on the merry go round or the tilt-a-whirl? I think the tilt-a-whirl is sugary, but the merry go round is like a Dagwood dog." I said to my cousin, I wasn't actually sure whether or not Jeff would get any of it though. (_Andy, should I go home or sign the contract? The contract is unknown and exciting, but going home is safer_)

"Rainy Day, the flood is coming and you can either wade in the water possibly getting swept into the tide, or you can sit on an arc with two of everything. The wade is strange but when the sun comes out and the arc is smashed you'll be glad you weren't there." Great, so that's five people telling me to sign. (_Elsie, you have the chance of a lifetime, you can either have an adventure or you can play it safe, but if you play it safe you're always gonna wonder what if_)

"Thanks for the advice Cotton Candy. Mr McMahon, I think I would like to sign the contract." Vince nodded, and Jeff's smile grew like seven times. Mr McMahon gave me a contract, with all my information on it. I skimmed it, and did a double take where it said 'romantic storyline with J. Hardy' 'Romantic storyline?" I asked to anyone really.

"Yea Squirt, it's a run off of you helping me tonight, there will also be a run in with Paul" Jeff said, looking at Paul.

"Oh ok then." That was good enough for me. I signed the contract, it said I get a shit lot more than I am currently making, would make appearances when I was rostered to, and that they could terminate the contract at any time. I was ok with all of that. Plus the wwe would pay for all my accommodation and stuff. Sweet or what.

"Welcome to the WWE Miss" Vince glanced at the papers. "Bremner. Now very quickly, do you want an alias name or do you want to use your real name?"

"Could I please be called" I began.

"Rainy Day" Andy interjected.

"Rain, is that what you want Elsie?" Vince asked sceptically.

"Umm could I please use Helen"

"Helen?" Mr McMahon checked.

"Yes, Helen Tarnation" I replied, using the nickname poppy gave my mum when she was a child. It was a perfect way to commemorate her memory. Knowing the background story of the name Andy looked at me.

"Rainy Day, the sun's gone but there are still heaps of umbrellas" (_Si, you miss your mum, but you have plenty of support here._)

"Cotton Candy, the clowns face say one thing, their heart says another. While the circus elephant sits on them both. The bungy cord is still tight, the safety features are just stricter" (_Andy, I may not look like her, but she's in my heart always, that doesn't mean I haven't moved on. I am still going strong I just like to remember her in ways._)

Andrew walked over to me and gave me a hug, showing he was behind me a hundred percent.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce Helen Tarnation" Andy said, so the others could at least figure where we had arrived. They all clapped.

"Right, now all of you have a show to do. You don't have to go to the ring, you just gotta get the hell out of here." Vince said. We all left the room.

"Umm Skittles, seriously dude, I can't really been seen with DX in a Hardy shirt, can I" I said, after trying to get his shirt to fit comfortably.

"But I love how my shirt looks on you" Jeff said, checking me out. Andrew put one arm over his head, covering his ears, and one partially over his eyes.

"See no evil, hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil" Andrew repeated over and over again. Reminding Jeff and I that he was still here. We all burst out laughing all the same. "Can we not do this when I'm around…please" Andy practically begged.

"Fine, but only if you leave us alone…a lot" Jeff surrendered. "Now I do believe we get to go shopping" He said, like a little kid.

"Jeff dude, the show starts in half an hour, there's no time" Andy informed him.

"Oh ye of little faith, follow me you two, Paul, Shawn, let's show them how we shop, wwe style." With that the wrestlers walked down a corridor, leaving Andrew and I to either follow or be stranded. Not wanting to be left behind, Andy and I followed quickly, going turn after turn, until they stopped in front of a door.

"Somehow Skittles, I doubt if you click your heels together three times and say you need to shop you will get anything but a small room." I said, sarcasm coating my sentence.

"Wanna bet?" I laughed, but he just looked at me.

"You're on. What's the stakes?"

"Alright, umm, loser has to initiate this relationship onscreen." He offered. He's going done, how gullible

"Done" And he actually clicked his highly attractive mud covered runners together three times whilst saying 'Squirt needs clothes'. Then he pushed the door open, and to my surprise there actually was a mini shop inside. Shawn leaned close to me and whispered.

"Next time you make a bet, make sure you read the door first." I looked at the door, 'Wardrobe'. Well that explains a lot.

"Fine I'll start this storyline." I said leaning in to kiss Jeff. "But it's not my fault if there aren't any cameras on at the moment." I said to Jeff, really trying to get out of starting the storyline.

"Loophole" Paul said laughing. "Right, enough play time, lets do this shi, I have things to see and people to do" Paul smirked moving into the room.

"So what do we need to wear?" I asked the DX boys.

"Well Andrew should be ok in this, we usually wear DX shirts and jeans." Shawn said throwing a DX jersey at him. "But you," Shawn began.

"You have to switch side, so I think we'll put you in this black and blue mini, but what to wear with it?" Paul finished. I started jumping up and down. My shirt would go perfectly, no wait, it's at Jeff's. Evil Jeff hiding it from me.

"What? You find one Squirt?" Jeff asked.

"No, I was thinking my shirt from the other day, but you stole that, so it's somewhere at yours" I said, disappointed.

"Actually, I needed to hide it someplace you wouldn't think to look, so it's in my gym bag."

"Really? Ok, I'll wear that." I said, happy again.

"Good, so in a segment, we'll make you put on a DX shirt, ok Elsie?" Shawn asked.

"Yep. That's great, but please call me Si, or Ell" I said, seriously, I am so over my name.

"Si?" was Paul's response.

"Ell" was Shawn's.

"Don't think so girly." Paul said on behalf of them both. "I like munchkin myself" Paul added talking to Shawn.

"NO" I said, a little too loud, and too fast. I gave Jeff and Andy a help me look. Luckily I think Jeff got that it had something to do with what I told him last night, well it kinda did, Munchkin is what my mum called me.

"Munchkin is one of my dogs names." Ok, maybe he didn't get what my look meant.

"Really?" I asked, Jeff looked at me like I was nuts, well I am, but still.

"No, it's just the look" Jeff started.

"Yea, Munchkin is what Aunt Rahael called her. No one else." Andy said.

"Fine, no Munchkin, how about…what should we call her Shawn?" Paul asked leaving the sentence half way through.

"I think pur old Hell will do, after all her stage name is Hell-and-tarnation" Shawn said, sounding out my name.

"Fine, no Elsie, your Hell. Take it or leave it" Paul said.

"I'll leave it." I smiled innocently.

"Jeff this girl spends too much time with you…better than Orton I suppose. But girly now you know you have absolutely no say in your name, we're just gonna call you whatever." Paul said.

"Girly seems to be the mark so far." I retorted.

"Right. Now we've got wardrobe down pat, what are we doing for pranks?" Andy asked slipping the shirt over his head, and avoiding the conversation which no doubt would spark an argument.

"I like this kid" Shawn said. Paul and Jeff nodded. "Bring anything useful with you?"

"Like I knew to bring anything. All I've got here tonight is my board." Andy replied.

"Too bad, no skating, the wheels mark the floor" Paul said.

"Then it's probably a good thing they aren't normal wheels, they are like the wheels on remote control monster trucks" Andy tried to explain.

"Perfect" Shawn and Paul said together. I looked at Jeff, and had a feeling he was rather nervous about tonight too.


	10. new people and akward conversations

**All I own is my imagination, if that's not enough for you, then don't read. Simple. **

* * *

Walking to DX's locker room Andy and the boys, I decided they are to be called boy, they act like Andrew when they're together. Well they've been planning pranks, they've got a couple of ideas for Vinnie Mac, and a couple for William Regal and Coach, whoever they are. When we got to the locker room Shawn had been in, there was a new sign on it...DX, proceed with caution. I burst out laughing, but stopped when they all looked at me.

"What's with the sign?" Seriously funny sign.

"That's for promos and stuff" Shawn answered, damn and here I was about to make fun of their sexuality, what you didn't picture it?

"Ok." We entered the newly dubbed DX room, and saw a huge ass clock, I must've missed it before. I looked at Shawn for an explanation.

"I like to be punctual" Well that's about as mature as I'll see him tonight. 6:45pm.

"So what time does the show start?"

"8. You don't watch?" Paul said.

"Australian, you know, funny accent and all that jazz" I replied.

"That's what I couldn't place" He nodded as to approve, not like he could really do anything about what country I'm from anyway. I looked at Jeff who was standing by the door.

"Am I allowed to hang with Jeff, or do I have to stay here?" I really don't fancy staying here, and Jeff just looks uncomfortable.

"No, you two go. Just be back by 7:30, for a rundown of the show." Jeff and I held hands as we left, leaving the boys to plot the demise of Raw. We walked until we got to Jeff's room, where we went inside.

"You have a locker room by yourself?" I thought everyone shared, like those APA guys.

"Yea, strangely nobody wants to share with me, they think I have some crazy ass pre-match ritual. Shawn and Paul do sometimes, and Matt, but I like it like this."

"Matt? He's on Raw too?" God, please tell me he's not, I mean it's not like we really hit it off.

"Nah, he was, sometimes he makes an appearance for a Hardy Boyz match, but he's on Smackdown now." Jeff replied, noticeably glummer than before. "But I have you to share a room with now" He said, perking up again.

"Yay" I replied. Somehow we made it to the couch, he was lying behind me with my head on his chest, just enjoying each other's company, that's how we were. "So, what was with the whole munchkin dog thing before?"

"I thought it had something to do with what happened after your mum died" Wow a non-reference, someone's tiptoeing.

"No, just her special name for me, I'm not ready to share it"

"I know how you feel I don't think I could handle anyone calling you Squirt." Good lord boy. I started laughing.

"Yep, that's special alright"

"It is." He replied, some almighty wisdom thrown about him.

"So Skittz, why were you looking pale as shit when Andy and DX were plotting?"

"Well, who's in a rivalry with Paul?"

"You" Duh.

"So that mean's I'm on the receiving end of some of those pranks. As well as Vinnie Mac and Coach and Regal"

"Coach and who-now" I really wanna know. Yes, I'm nosy, get over it.

"Coach and Regal, Regal is the GM, like the sub boss, below Vinnie Mac, and Coach is always on a power trip, he's like some assistant or something."

"Like authority figures right?"

"Right." So DX is anti-authority, Andy will fit right in.

"So how do we do this?" I asked out of the blue.

"Do what?"

"This, tonight. The whole me save your match thing, I mean, do we give each other secret lover glances all night or what?"

"Now I gotcha, well how about after one of the pranks you stay behind and help me. Yea?"

"Yea. Ok. I guess I'll go tell them boys then."

"Squirt, I absolutely love your accent/

"Your's aint bad either." I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, anything else and I would never have left. I grabbed Andy's board and headed back to DX's locker room. Looking at all the wrestlers on the way. As I was walking someone called out to me.

"You lost?"

"No, why? You need a map?" I replied, not really in the mood. Clearly this shook the dude up, he shook his head and looked at me differently.

"Hi, I'm Randy, Randy Orton."

"You're Orton?" I asked, so that's who the bad influence is.

"So you do watch me then." He smirked.

"Nope. Never have done" I replied shrugging.

"So then why are you here?" I snuck backstage to screw your brains out.

"I was invited." Clearly someone forgot to put an on switch on his brain.

"So little ring rat, who invited you?"

"Ring rat, WTF mate?"

"WTF? What's that mean?" He asked dumbfounded.

"What the fuck. Struth don't tell me you don't know WTF, that's just wrong."

"WTF, struth, where are you from?" Orton asked…I'm gonna have some fun.

"Well Orton, you see, when a man and a woman are drunk…"

"I know where people come from," He snapped. "Interesting start though, drunk not love."

"Its just sex Orton, not all of us are perfect."

"I know" Conceited much?!

"I see what they mean about you now." I said and started to walk off.

"Who?" Orton asked. Clearly it's the aliens I live with.

"You'll find out" I replied. That went pretty good, I arrived back at the locker room without a hitch, not wanting to walk in on anything but fully dressed men, I knocked.

"Come in" Clearly the catch phrase of the night. I entered the room to find Andy, Paul and Shawn gathered over a book, then I noticed the camera in the corner.

"Well then, whose this And? Your girl?" Paul snickered.

"Nah, I don't know her." Andy said, slipping a piece of paper with 'run with it' written on it and showed it to me.

"What's your name sweetheart?" Shawn asked.

"Helen. Umm just call me Tarnation though." I said putting the pieces together. Skit.

"Helen Tarnation. I like it. What do you think Shawn?"

"Gotta ring to it."

"So girly you want in DX too, we've already let this punk in for the night, and we need a nice piece of ass to join us." Paul offered. How this man is married I'll never know.

"Nice piece of ass aye? Hmm as lovely as it is to be a piece of meat for you two to drool over. I don't think so."

"Too bad, Vince is giving us shit, so unless you want us to go and unload some of that shit onto you, you're staying."

"Great options there sparky," I said to Paul. I sat on a chair and folded my legs.

"Put this on to" Shawn threw a DX jersey at me. I pulled it over my shirt and huffed. The camera guy left.

"Nice of youz to tell me there"

"No problem, but in all seriousness for a minute" Paul serious? Tonight? "Take off your shirt under the DX one we gave you, you'll need it later." Paul told me. Great piece of advice, take off your shirt, good thing their both Dads.

"Come on guys, why can't you tell me what's going on?"

"Because we're playing off real emotion and responses. Have fun with Jeff?"

"Yep" Paul and Shawn smirked.

"Come on people, she's my cousin." Andy whined

"Rack off you pervs, I said I had fun, I said nothing about tweaking the tackle."

"Rack off?"

"Tweaking the tackle?" I tuned bright red when Shawn asked what that meant.

"Rack off, apparently piss off is rude here, so rack off will do. And Shawn you see when a man and woman are well, not quite drunk they do things that normally they wouldn't. And sometimes that includes –

"LaLaLaLaLaLa" Andy started La-ing, to block me out.

"Tweaking the tackle. That's a new one." Paul said. I hit Andy so he'd shut up. But as soon as I hit him, his hand went to his right side, where I had hit him, there was a lovely red mark there.

"Damn girl, you've got some back hand," Shawn said, shaking his head.

"I toughened up the last couple of years." It's true I had, only Jeff knew why though.

"Remind me to stay on her good side" Paul said. Then Shawn looked mortified.

"Hey Elle Girl, please don't hit me like that later tonight."

"What? I didn't even hit him that hard." I replied, it's true, I can hit way harder, wooses.

"You'll go far as a Diva kid" Thanks Paul.

**Read and Review xx**


	11. Raw showers

**I own nothing...actually I own less than nothing...sad but true. **

**Read and Review. xoxo**

* * *

"I'm Jerry 'the King' Lawler and this is Jim Ross, and welcome to Monday Night Raw." I decided to watch the broadcast so I could see what the low-down was.

The titantron went to a scene with DX and Andrew, welcoming him into their clique. The crowd went crazy. Then they started scheming of things to do to Coach. Then the shot went to when I entered the room, they played our improvised scene, before fading to black.

"It seems Raw has some Visitors" JR said.

"Yep, did you see the puppies on Helen Tarnation though?" King added.

"I wonder why DX wanted Andrew and Helen tonight?"

"DX one night only, I wonder what Mr McMahon thinks about this." King added.

Shawn waved his hand in front of my face, getting my attention.

"Sorry I was getting into this" I said, fumbling on some of my words.

"We've gotta go do some skits now though, come on Elle Girl" He offered me his hand, and I took it. Shawn let go of my hand and signalled that there was a camera outside. I nodded letting him know I understood. Andy bounded out the door, followed by Paul, then Shawn, then a very reluctant me. I stopped and leaned against a wall outside their locker room not moving. The camera was positioned in the doorframe to get me leaning and DX walking off, the camera gy spun the viewer around so I could see Paul walking back towards me.

"What did I tell you before" was all he said, before hoisting me over one of his shoulders. "Hey Elle Girl" Paul whispered so I knew he was talking to me, not eh audience. "My stage name is Triple H, remember." I said the first thing I could to let him know I'd heard him.

"You'd better not fart on me H" I smiled as he repositioned me on his shoulder. Next thing I knew I was put down. That's the second time in two days I had been carried like that.

"Camera's gone for now, they're meeting us at Hardy's locker room, so you can walk between now and there" I nodded. As we walked Paul protectively put his arm over my shoulder. We passed Randy Orton and some guy who was wearing denim shorts and Nikes.

"You never said you were with Paul" Randy shouted, getting my attention.

"Did I need to?"

"Yes. Paul is royalty."

"Does that mean I'm a royal rat?" I asked, mocking him. Paul was getting angry, I gelt his arm tense.

"Orton you called her a ring rat?"

"I didn't know Paul. I just thought"

"No Orton, you didn't think. You never talk about Hellover here like that again." So that's the new nickname, I like it, but I'll ask him about it later.

"Hellover? That's you name?"

"Not to you it aint" I replied, Aussie accent twice as strong as usual.

"Then what is it?"

"That's not important right now." I said, waving him off.

"Hey, you're Helen Tarnation right?" The other guy said, surprising Orton.

"Yea"

"I'm John, John Cena"

"Nice to meet you John." Randy was dumbfounded, he kept looking between Cena and myself.

"John dude, how do you know her?"

"He's my FB" I replied, to stir the shit in Randy's head just a little more. Unfortunately they all looked at me like I was insane, luckily John played along all the same.

"Told you earlier Orton, you don't know everything about me" Paul just started laughing and we walked off leaving Randy and John to argue.

"Yea, but how come you know her name?" We heard Randy whine. He is such a baby.

"So Hellover huh?"

"Yes, like a hangover but more you"

"I like it."

"So, what's a FB?" I blushed, not really wanting to tell him…stalling stalling.

"What's a ring rat?"

"I don't think it's an appropriate conversation."

"You tell me what a ring rat is, and I'll tell you what a FB is ok?" Paul sighed, I was hoping he'd drop it, I really don't wanna explain what an FB is.

"Ok, a ring rat is a woman who sleeps or at least tries to sleep with wrestlers."

"So a slut basically"

"Yea, but only for wrestlers, if that makes sense."

"Why only wrestlers?"

"Because the stupid ones can write about it on the Internet, and the smart ones use it against wrestlers for money, or whatever they want really."

"Cleaver bastards"

"Exactly. Now what is a FB?" Crap he still wants to know.

"Fuck buddy" I said barely above a whisper.

"A what?"

"A fuck buddy, friend with benefits, that type of thing" Shit that was embarrassing.

"Oh" Paul's cheeks were red, clearly it embarrassed him too.

"I did say don't worry abou tit."

"You know you'd make a pretty decent addition to DX"

"Too bad it's a one time thing." I said, which brought down his spirits a bit. "Sorry Paul"

"It's ok, now get your ass on my shoulder Hellover, I see camera." Paul picked me up and put me back on his shoulder, as we turned the corner I squirmed, hitting and kicking anything in reach. He put me down, and in character I glared at him. He just smiled.

"Right H, you got that?" Shawn asked.

"What no, I had to deal with the demon child here" I smiled innocently.

"Just stick to the plan. And Helen, stay the hell out of the way." Andy said.

"Hell's my business" I replied coldly.

"Whatever, just don't _do_ anything" Shawn said to me. I rolled my eyes, but inside I was hoping whatever they were doing to Jeff wasn't too bad, hopefully just funny. They knocked on the door, as if to see if anyone was in there, but really they were giving Jeff his cue, I just don't know what for. After receiving no answer they snuck into Jeff's room. We all heard the water running and Paul pointed to the shower. Shawn took Jeff's clothes that were sitting on the bench closest to the shower and passed them to And, he took them and Jeff's bag and left, Shawn and Paul sprayed 'DX' on the wall in green. Shawn pointed to me, then the shower…he wasn't…he wouldn't…they would.

"Go tell Hardy his clothes are missing" Paul not so quietly whispered to me. Shawn and Paul pushed me into the shower area. I screamed as I was flung into the stall. Luckily for me, or unluckily, however you see it, Jeff had on some nutt-huggers. Him clearly in on the whole skit, he grabbed the ONLY towel there and put it around him, and gave me a sympathetic look. Then he gabbed my arm and walked into view of the camera.

"What the hell is your problem?! You just run in on superstars in the shower?" He yelled at me.

"I…I…it…it wasn't me" I stammered. Jeff looked at the DX jersey that clung to my frame.

"DX?" I nodded, and pointed to where Shawn and Paul were smirking at us, standing under the large green DX on the wall. "Very nice. Bringing a chick into your shenanigans, are you done with them now?" Jeff asked, reaching for his now misplaced bag.

"No, I think we will shenan-again" Paul said, as he and Shawn laughed, and left.

"Great, no clothes, what else can go wrong?" Jeff said bitterly. He then turned his attention to me, and we shared a long gaze into each others eyes.

"I can try and get your stuff back if you like" I whispered, before the camera guy yelled cut.


	12. divas and dirt

**If you know anyone that actually owns anything WWE (not a McMahon) send me their email adress...I want in, until then I got nothing. **

**Read and Review. xoxo**

* * *

"You did great Squirt, and I gotta give DX some props, letting me enjoy you being completely wet again…brilliant."

"Shut up you smart ass. Now lets move our asses, well mine, it has to be back in the DX locker room like now." I said running out he door, only to find Jeff beside me, making sure I got there ok, because I shouldn't be left alone the way I looked right then…not that he should be running the corridors almost naked. We go to the DX room, and a camera was near there, so I got into character.

"Ok, you wait in that supply closet and I'll bring your stuff back." I whispered, pointing to a closet on the other side of the corridor.

"Thank you…"

"Helen, Helen Tarnation" I said softly.

"Thank you Helen" I opened the door to the DX locker room, to find another camera.

"Thanks for that boys, I needed a shower" I said, fake smile in place and sarcasm coating my voice.

"We know." They answered.

"So what are you doing to Hardy's clothes?" I asked, finally seeming eager. They knew I had to give him his clothes back, as part of the mock up script that they wrote up for the night.

"We're not sure yet, probably just hold them here."

"Real original. It's about as good as emptying his bag, replacing all the clothes with chicks and giving him that." I said before rolling my eyes.

"Good idea, hey guys, the chick had a good idea."

"What are we doing?" Shan asked coming in from their bathroom and throwing me a towel, which I wrapped around my wet body.

"Replacing Hardy's clothes with the Diva's …two pranks in one." Paul told him.

They upturned all Jeff's stuff onto the locker room floor before taking the bag and running from the room. I stayed and put the clothes on the floor in a plastic bag and walking out the door, camera in tow. I knocked on the closet door, and Jeff opened it. I put the bag into his hands.

"Listen carefully ok?" Jeff nodded. "They're gonna put Diva's clothes in your bag and take it back to you. So you've gotta I dunno roll up your pant legs so they don't notice or something" Jeff thanked me and ran for his room. I leant back on the wall and the cameraman left, after saying good job. I walked into the DX locker room, and into the bathroom to dry off, by the sink I see a new purple and black mini, my shirt, a 'Vince loves cocks' shirt, and two black bags, I open the bags and to my relief they are filled with underwear, I took until I find some I like that fit me and get changed. In my mind thanking Paul and Shawn. I wrote a note for them to find when they got back. I grab the bags and leave for the Diva's locker room. After five minutes of searching I found it, I'm pretty sure I went round in a circle too.

Being polite, I knock on the door. A really tall brunette answered the door.

"Hi, I'm Maria, you're that Helen Tarnation right?"

"Yea, I'm Elsie, I was actually just going to return the underwear that you guys leant DX to lend me, that was really nice."

"It was nothing, did you find anything?"

"Umm, yea, thanks"

"Come in, Come in." She opened the door more, and I followed her in.

"Elsie, this is Mickie, Amy, Candice, Beth, Ashley and Lillian. Mickie, Amy, Candz, Beth and I are on Raw, Ash is on Smackdown and Lil is the ring announcer on Raw."

I received a round of hi's and how are you's. Then a Latina chick walked into the locker room.

"Hey Mel" Mickie said.

"Hey guys"

"Mel, this is Elsie. Elsie this is Melina, she's the only one of us who plays a heel. But we love her anyway because she's pretty much an angel."

"Umm, hey"

"Hey, you a new diva?"

"Kinda"

"Nice to meet you then."

"Thanks"

"So how did you end up here?" Candice asked.

"Well my neighbour, umm boyfriend actually, invited me to come." I said blushing a bit.

"Who is it? How long have you been going out?" I heard all at once.

"Well we only met a few days ago, but I dunno, it was like love at first sight."

"I know who it is" Ashley shouted above the awe's that were coming.

"Who?" Amy asked.

"Jeff" Ash answered. All the Diva's looked at me and I nodded.

"How'd you know that?" I asked Ash.

"It's pretty obvious with the set up of tonight." As said, then the other diva's nodded. The door opened and some fake boobed, bottle blonde came in.

"Out of my way, fabulousness coming through." She said ultra chirpy. Half of the divas shuddered at the sound of her voice. "Who's the new meat?"

"Who want to know?" I asked defensively.

"Just the best wrestler, not to mention singer here."

"So where is she? All I see is silicon and bottle blonde." A wave of oohs came from the divas.

"Bitch. I am the shit, I run this show and nobody gets to say otherwise."

"I bet I can think of one of my friends that say otherwise."

"And who's that?" Bottl-o-bitch as I've now dubbed her asked.

"My mate Paul"

"Oh, that's who you are, the slut who's panning after my man"

"Your man?" shit I hope this isn't Stephanie McMahon.

"Yes, my man, Jeff Hardy. The guy you've been following around all night looking like a lost puppy." Oh no she didn't.

"Listen Bottl-o-bitch, I don't know who you think you are, but Jeff Hardy is _not_ your man"

"Me? I'm Jillian Hall, and Jeff and I are meant to be together."

"Jillian the only one who thinks that is you…so don't even" Mel came into the conversation.

"Shut up Melina. Just because you can't keep a man, doesn't mean me and Jeff can't be happy."

"It's Jeff and I." I replied before punching her right in the gut. The divas were shocked. And I thought they were angry at me.

"My god girl, thank you so much, I've been dying to do that since she started to sing" Mel said, as they gave me a group hug.

"Oh Elsie, whose lingerie are you wearing?" Maria asked, seeing the bags again.

"I don't know, who owns this?" I asked, pulling up my shirt to reveal a black bra with purple skulls over it. The divas looked at Ashley.

"Damn" I heard Mickie say.

"Okay pay up people" Ash said.

"You guys were having bets?"

"Hell yea, we all had on own stuff, except Maria, who had money of Mel's. So pay up bitches." I laughed at them, and left the room, heading back to the DX locker room, the way I had come…may as well not get lost going the quick way right.


	13. defiance

**I own the Swanton Bomb...Hi my names sam and i'm a liar..."hi sam" ALRIGHT, i own nothing. **

**Read and Review. xoxo**

* * *

As I walked back to DX's locker room who should I see in the hall but Randy Orton and John Cena.

"Hey John" I said waving.

"Hey Little Dude" He smiled. Two can play the dude card.

"So big dude, whatcha been up to?"

"Honestly? Mainly listening to Orton bitching about me knowing your name…I finally took pity on him and told him to find a TV. Nice segment with Hardy by the way." He smirked. Damn blush.

"So sweetheart, whose idea was it?"

"Clearly mine, I mean who wouldn't want to be completely soaked on their first night on the job, so it can be televised inter-fucking-nationally" I said, rolling my eyes, at least it shut him up.

"They didn't tell you that they were doing it then?" John asked.

"No, they wanted true reactions, but seriously they basically threw me in a shower." I said, still annoyed at DX. Great, Orton looks like he has something to say, this oughta be life changing.

"You know, Hardy was in on it too, I mean come on, he wasn't nude in that shower was he." I know he knew, but fuck I hate that he's right. Jeff knew what he had to do, he was in Speedos for fuck sake. My face was literally changing colour, I was getting angrier and angrier by the second.

"Woah, hold up little dude." John said with his calming voice. "They wouldn't do something like that if they didn't think you'd be ok with it right?"

"Well that's what I thought."

"Do you know who would be offended by it?"

"Well I mean, I doubt my cousin Andrew would want to have even thought abou that." I thought out loud.

"See, they probably cleared it with him first." Damn smart John.

"That makes sense, he is the one who kept going on about indecent exposure in front of him." I said, giggling at the thought of his outbursts earlier today.

"See that's what I mean." John's good at calming me down.

"So what exposing were you doing indecently?" Orton asked smirking…he's such an assclown.

"I was kissing my boyfriend, he just doesn't like to think abou tit."

"Who's you boyfriend?" John asked, as Randy sulked. I almost laughed at Randy.

"Jeff."

"You and Rainbow Bright? No way!" Cena said, louder than I would've liked.

"Yes way. What's so bad about that?"

"You and Jeff, I just didn't think you were his type." John responded, he'd calmed down a bit by now.

"You buddy owe me fifty bucks" Randy said, brought back into the conversation.

"How come" I wanna make fifty bucks…I do have morals…I'm not making it that way.

"Bet" Very useful information John.

"Yea, we've had a bet going since Jeff returned five months ago." Randy added. A bet, what's it for?

"About?" I wanna get to the bottom of this bet.

"His sexuality" John finished…man he looks embarrassed.

"You thought he was gay?" He's definitely wrong abou that.

"No!" Riight. "I thought he was bi, with a life partner back home"

"Same diff." It really is. Cena thought Jeff's gay, I wouldn't have picked that.

"And I thought he was dating a supermodel." Randy added.

"You thought he was dating a supermodel?" God these two are some completely wrong. "Damn, one extreme to the other."

"Well Orton is right, he's not gay…or bi with a boyfriend." I said drowning at John.

"What? It's the nail polish and constant hair dying." John tried to defend himself.

"But Orton is wrong. He's not dating a supermodel, or anything close. Just me. It's just me and him in our little relationship." That is a great word to be able to say…relationship. "So in the way of who owes who what, no one is winning any money tonight, because you were both wrong."

"So why'd he take a month off around May then?" Curiosity killed the cat Orton, and right now, you are my cat.

"It's not my place to say, even if I knew." I felt a strong pair of arms wrap around me, needless to say I was scared, looking to John for some kind of answer, not seeing anything, I looked down at the arms, seeing a root on the right arm I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"I took the month off because the girl I had been dating for three years broke up with me, I was completely devastated, I was planning on asking her to marry me." How can he say that while holding me so tight? Shit son, three years is a fucking long time. I would've been like fourteen when they got together. I wonder how long Jeff and I are gonna be tighter for. Great, a tear, I'm tearing up…fuck, I just let it roll down my cheek, it hit Jeff's arm. He turned my body so I was facing him and lifted my chin so I was looking into his eyes. "what's wrong gorgeous?"

"You…you hold your ex so close still." I said, trying to answer the question…without answering the question.

"You're worried I still love her right." Spot on. "I remember that story because it affected me badly the, I remembered it because it reminds me to keep guards around the centre of my heart." Just what needed to hear, he was guarding his heart. I sobbed louder. "Squirt, when I met you, that guards deteriorated. I couldn't even help it."

"Re...really?" If I wasn't sobbing that would've been a lot easier.

"Really really" Jeff replied. It would be retarded if I hadn't stuttered. I took a step back, no Orton or Cena, hmm now I know how to clear a room for intimacy.

A cameraman happened to be rounding the corner and saw Jeff and I in our predicament. I looked up and saw him and gave Jeff an unnoticeable nudge, we need to cover this up with a skit.

"So yea, I just wanted to thank you for helping me again. And Hel, I'm sorry that DX did that to you, you don't deserve that treatment." Jeff said as he released me from our hug.

"It's just because I didn't want to pull stupid pranks on people, but they didn't have to pull one on me." I replied.

"I know, hey I have to go, if Triple H or Michaels, or their new pawn see us together, I don't know who'd suffer more, you or me. I'll see you later. Bye Helen." With that Jeff walked off. The cameraman motioned that he'd stopped filming and that just left me in an empty hall. I walked back to the DX locker room to find a not so happy Paul, no camera in sight. Shit.

"Elsie, where have you been? I've been worried about you." Sure.

"What? Paul I left a note. I was returning the Diva's bags." You need to read buddy.

"I saw the note, I went to the divas locker room and they said you'd left like five minutes before I got there. Where were you? Wait do I even want to know?"

"Eww, Paul, just because you're a degenerate. I ran into John and Randy and they started talking to me, then Jeff came up. Then a camera guy, so we cut a promo." No need for you to get your knickers in a knot.

"You and Jeff?" Paul relaxed a little. "Good I needed you two to cut one."

"Done and done." Paul nodded and I flopped onto the couch. A camera guy walked into the room, got set up, and told Paul and I to be ending a conversation.

"So you see Helen, if you had just been a good little _whatever_ you are, you wouldn't have been pushed in the shower with that _freak_." I was about to yell at him when Shawn and Andy walked into the room with Jeff's bag.

"How'd it go you two?" H asked.

"Divas said no" Shawn started.

"But that didn't stop me." Andy added, opening the bag to show the divas lingerie they'd allowed me to borrow.

"Good on you lad." H said clapping his hand on Andy's shoulder. "Now let's go give Hardy his bag back. Better yet, let's make her do it." H said giving me a dirty look.

"Yep, get up girly, you're doing this for us and to make sure you do it proper we're going with you." Andy added. Shawn and H shared a look of satisfaction. I groaned but got up all the same. The bag was thrust into my gut and we left for Jeff's room. DX thumped on Jeff's door to signal skit, Jeff opened it in the towel, but you could see his pants hanging out the bottom, DX "didn't notice" though.

"Helen Right?" I glance at H and Shawn as if asking if I had to and they nodded.

"Umm yea, DX said for me to give you this." I said, passing him the bag filled with lingerie. He nodded and accepted the bag. DX and I left and the cameraman followed us until we passed a monitor and saw Jeff open his bag to find one of the divas bras to pop out and hit Jeff in the face. The guys laughed, and I tried not to, but I didn't have to try for long, but I didn't have to for long because I realised whose bra it was, Jillian's. The camera guy left and we all continued to the DX locker room.

That bitch. What doesn't she get that Jeff isn't interested. I mean fuck he has ha girlfriend…ME. Why won't she just let him fucking be?! Having settled down enough not to scream at everyone I pass. I walked to Jeff's locker room, knocking fairly impatiently and Jeff answered, fairly moodily probably because of the way I was knocking, but when he saw me he smiled. I didn't.

"What's wrong Squirt?"

"Jillian" End problem.

"She got to you too?"

"Yes, when I went to the divas locker room to return the bag of bras n things, Jillian was being all anal about well first off she was all like I own these halls bitch, then she was like get your hands off my man. And then with the bra popping out. I was hers." God, I need to breath more.

'I know, her perfume suffocates me." I'm not the only one.

"But I mean, she…you" the words actually refused to form in my mouth.

"Me, Jillian? Squirt please, give me _some_ credit. She's just the company bicycle, everyone's had a ride, but me, I like the pocket bike I have." Bikes, we're back to bikes…again.

"I'm a pocket bike?" Yea, I'm a bike, that offended me a little, but I guess it's better than being the company bicycle.

"Yea, no one knows what they are, and it's just for me." He said, rationalising t out.

"Aww Babe, they'll know me tonight though"

"You scared?" No…yes.

"A little" Jeff hugged me, but turned me around and started massaging my shoulders and back. And damn it felt so good. I was trying to say it wasn't necessary, but my mouth wouldn't say it. My entire body melted and relaxed, then he stoped, why'd he stop?

"Well, you're ok now, besides, you've gotta go back to Shawn and Paul. The match is next. And Jillian can't have me. I'm taken by a gorgeous, unique, _real_ girl." I gave him a quick peck on the lips and went back to DX. Just as I opened the door, Paul and Shawn turned me around the other way.

"Let's go, we have ring time…now" Shawn said, not pushing me, just making me walk that little bit faster. We made it to the gorilla, music that sounded like Rage Against the Machine started _Are you Ready? _Paul and Shawn looked at me and Andy.

"You guys ready?" We nodded. "Ok so we're gonna go out to the stage, Andy on our heals, then we look for you and Paul will walk back and drag you out, when he does you've gotta kick and scream and stuff, ok Hellover?" Shawn said, before him and Paul dashed through the curtain.

I gave Andy a hug before he sprinted after them. Jeff came up behind me and gave me a kiss.

"For Luck" Man I need luck more often.

"I think I'm in like" I said, we laughed then 'Triple H' came and grabbed me, whispering to me to give him hell, so I did, my arms were flailing everywhere and I was kicking and screaming all the way down the ramp. When we were outside the ring, Paul actually lifted me up, Shawn sat on the middle rope, so I could climb through, I did then ran to the other side of the ring, away from them, completely in character.

"H, I told you to leave the kid and the girl out back."

"Why? So Hardy can take our chick? I think not Shawny Boy"

"Do you think McMahon will mind DX again?" Shawn asked, much like a little kid.

"Nah, we haven't spray painted anyone's ass yet. Damn Helen Tarnation." He said turning to me. "Shoulda got her before we pushed her in the shower with Hardy. But seriously that's probably why she's shook up, seeing a freak nude will do that to anyone." At this point I grabbed a mic, hey if I was gonna get pished, I may as well have some fun too.

"So Shawn isn't a coffee addict then? He just shares a locker room with you" I said smirking, Shawn, along with the audience laughed. At least they weren't for real mad.

"Who do you think you are? I run this joint." Triple H said, though it just reminded me of Randy Orton earlier.

"I'm Helen Tarnation. And I'm merely making an observation. I don't have to put up with your shit just because you tell me to." I said, taking a step forward.

"Right, Shawn get the girl out of my ring" H shouted. Shawn came over, and whispered to drop and roll when he kicked. He kicked, I dropped and rolled out of the ring. "Now we've got some space. Are you ready?" The crowd went crazy even though they were booing Paul a minute ago. "I said Are you Ready North Carolina?" The pop was massive. "Then for the thousands in attendance, for the millions watching at home, and because Helen Tarnation was pushed in a shower tonight." They bent forward, with their hands on their knees, and Andy followed suit. "Let's get ready to SUCK IT" Paul passed the mic to Shawn.

"And if your not down with that, we've got two words for ya" The whole arena screamed SUCK IT. Shawn dropped the mic, and he and Andy jumped out of the ring. Jeff's music went off and he danced away at the top of the ramp, microphone in hand.

"So DX, have you had fun tonight?" Paul nodded smiling. "I'm glad you've had fun torturing that poor girl, as well as Coach, Regal and myself, but the fun's over, for you at least. Coz now I'm gonna come and relieve you of that title there Triple H." He tossed the mic down then ran full on into the ring. Throughout the match, Andrew and Shawn were cheering for Paul, and I was cheering for Jeff. Halfway through the match however, Andy came over and grabbed my hands, pulling them behind my back dragging me over to Shawn.

"Now cheer for DX" He yelled. I struggled, getting nowhere whatsoever.

"Come on Jeff" I yelled, defying the force behind me. Andrew manoeuvred it so it looked like he put more pressure on my arms, and whispered to yelp. I did and then yelled not as loudly. "Let's go Triple H" Andy let go. I ran to the other side of the ring. Shawn gave me the slightest nod, and jumped onto the apron, distracting the red. I dove under the ring, scrambling to the other side and pulled Shawn's feet off the apron, causing his face to eat mat. H had Jeff rolled up for the pin, and Jeff saw this turning to count. I winked at Andy to get him to distract the red. He jumped on the apron after Jeff kicked out. I ducked in the ring, took off my DX shirt to reveal the _Only in your imagination_ shirt, and low blowed Triple H, Jeff then pulled a twist of fate and soared through the air with a Swanton Bomb, for the One Two Three.


	14. My face hates your band

**I own nothing. **

**Read and Review.**

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Jeff's music went off, the fans went crazy.

"The winner and your new Intercontinental Champion, Jeff Hardy." I rolled into the ring to congratulate Jeff but when I stood up I met Shawn's boot. As soon as my knees left the mat, my face met it. I knew it wasn't anything personal, but onscreen I had just cost Triple H the championship. Jeff was holding me trying to get me to come round. I did, after like ten seconds. I leant on Jeff, all of my weight was on Jeff honestly, and I was trying to stand, and Jeff, well he was still here helping me. As I reached my feet, and looked up at Jeff, he kissed me. In front of like a million people. He started it, not me. I was shocked. I stood there as he shook his head, apologising over and over again, but not onscreen, he was apologising to me. But I realised as I used my peripheral-vision to look around that I loved him, so it didn't matter. I ran up to him and spun him around, I saw his jaw clench as if awaiting a slap. But I brought his face down and kissed him back. I pulled away and smiled at him, he hugged me with one arm, touched his lip with the other. We walked to the back, arm in arm, smiles that could light a dark room. As we walked through the curtain we were met by wolf whistles, from Randy and John, and Paul, Andy and Shawn, even some of the Divas, Mickie and Amy had come out.

"I was going to ask if you're ok, but I see you're fabulous." I just smiled and blushed.

"Oh and John and Randy, I know what happens to the pot you had bet on Jeff."

"What?" They asked in unison.

"I get it. I proved you both wrong." I laughed, but was shocked when they nodded and pulled out their wallets. "Goys, I was kidding. Put your money away." I said batting John's hand away as he held out fifty bucks.

"No, we both lost the bet, you win, here you go." Randy insisted.

"But I didn't do anything."

"You took a sweet chin music and had your first onscreen kiss and debut all in the one night, you deserve it…call I t a welcome to the business." Randy said, slipping the money into my hand. I laughed and everyone looked at me like I was crazy.

"I feel like your bitch Jeff, I mean money for a kiss." We all laughed, before heading different ways to locker rooms, on the way to Jeff's I ran into Mr McMahon.

"Ah, Jeff and Elsie, I wanted to see you two." I gulped. Our kiss and relationship wasn't meant to happen, but then again neither was the skit about DX wetting me. Man four hours. Officially my shortest ever job. Too bad. We followed Vince into Jeff's locker room and sat down. I must've looked petrified because Jeff grabbed my hand.

"Mr McMahon, I'm very sorry that we started the romantic storyline early, it's just that when we were out there, it seemed like the right time to start it." Jeff said, clearly nervous as I was.

"No no, the kiss was great. The fans loved it, they loved the whole interaction between you two. But me, I don't buy into it."

"You don't?" I asked. I mean how can you not believe something that's real anyway?

"No, that wasn't acting. The kiss, the apology, that was real emotion." Jeff and I nodded. "Why?" Was all Vince asked. Umm why, yea, like I know that one.

"Mr McMahon, you can't choose who you fall for, or how hard. The thing is, I'm falling for Elsie, everyday, all over again, harder and harder." How cute is that!

"Get to the point boy" well I thought it was cute.

"Well Mr McMahon" Way to interrupt there Elsie. "Personally I don't think that Jeff and I having a relationship outside work is bad for you, it'll strengthen the storyline if anything." I said adding my two cents.

"Yes, that I am happy with. It is the fact you two were dating before you were a Diva Miss Bremner." Like it's really any of your business anyway.

"If it makes a difference technically we haven't actually been on a date yet." I rebutted.

"And we only made our feelings apparent this morning." Jeff added, trying to sway our boss.

"Alright, this I can deal with. But if you two break up, then we will need to talk."

"Yes Mr McMahon" We said in unison. It really did feel like being at school again. Vinnie Mac left the room, we both let out a deep breath.

"So Skittles, did you really mean all that?" I asked, still smiling.

"All what?" Jeff stop avoiding the question.

"Mr McMahon." I mimicked perfectly. "You can't choose who you fall for, or how hard." I stopped, feeling that I'd embarrassed and refreshed is memory enough.

"Oh that, umm honestly?"

"That's always helpful."

"Yes. I did, I mean I do mean that. And I think I am." Jeff said, I swear I saw him completely vulnerable just then.

"Really? When did you know?" My curiosity sparked.

"Well you know when And tried to apologise without taking a breath"

"Yea" Your point being?

"That's when I realised I wanted to get to know you. And why you felt so little about yourself you didn't even want to talk about yourself or tell me where you're from, I realised I cared for you, and wanted you to feel extremely special. I knew I loved you when you were telling me about your mum and your life back in Australia. And I realised I was in love, I'm pretty sure I can peg it at when I saw you lying on my couch in my shirt." Jeff said being completely honest with me.

"Well I wanted to find out anything on you after my dream. I wanted to get to know you after you invited us in for a drink, and I was positive I'm in love just after you kissed me in front of millions of people, and then apologised for it." He smiled, I smiled, then I repeated what I'd said in my head, millions of people, I was the one person I knew would watch it to see if she could see Andy and me that I was worried about.

"Shit son" I said louder than I would've liked.

"What?" Jeff asked concerned.

"You know the millions of people thing?" I said, clearly and rightly so antsy abou tit.

"Well yea, like every week."

"No. Not like every week, Aunty K doesn't watch every week. Fuck."

"Look Squirt, it's really not that much of a big deal. If you aren't ready to share our actual relationship with her, then just tell her that it's onscreen." I knew I loved him for a reason.

"Yea, you're right, she's gonna fucking kill me though."

"No, just ring her." I whipped out my Nokia 3315.

"Yea, now why didn't I think of that?" Sarcasm coating my voice. "oh wait, Aussie phone."

"No use my phone." That works too I guess.

"Your phone. Right." I dialled home, after not even two rings Kimmy's voice rung out.

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**May not seem like the best place to end it, but oh well, i'll update soon, if i get some reviews. **

**xoxo**


	15. Platinumcool

**Sorry that I haven't updated this story in AGES! I've been really busy, add in Safe at Last, Lying for Love and it's Sequel...For the love of lying. And there has been no time at all.  
Ok you guys know this by now...I own nothing, actually I own a second hand guitar and an ipod nano. But that's it...oh and a violin without an e string and my skateboard. So there is seriously no point hating me...you can hate me later. **

**Read and Review poppets. xoxo  
P to the S. Gotta love dame edna. lol. **

"Your phone. Right." I dialled home, after not even two rings Kimmy's voice rung out.

"_Hello?"_

"Aunty." I said, very softly.

"Oh thank Christ you're ok Elsie, I was petrified about you. Why didn't you tell me that you'd be in the show?"

"It was a rushed decision. But a good one I think. They offered me a job. I'm a diva."

"_You? You're a diva?"_ Thanks for the confidence booster there Aunty K.

"Yea, on a learning contract. They've hired me for a year. I'm going to be on tour with them for a whole year, I'll get to see the world." I said happily, wouldn't you be though?

"_Si, are you sure that this is what you want to do?"_ Not really but its something right?

"Yes Aunty, I'm sure."

"_Good girl, then I'll support you 110."_ Thank god I've always got my aunty to lean on.

"Oh my god, you're like the coolest ever, thank you so much Aunty K." Man who would've thought smiling ear to ear would hurt…well it does, but I don't care, I can't stop anyway.

"_It's ok sweetie, but Elsie Helen Bremner where did that kiss come from?"_ Ok I knew it was coming but it doesn't mean I want to answer it.

"Oh that, well you see they want Jeff and I to be in a storyline." Brushing it off as next to nothing…man I lie a lot.

"_Storyline my ass, that kiss wasn't acting. From either participant I might add."_ Dammit I never could lie to her.

"Ok but Aunty you know you don't choose who you fall for. And Jeff and I have fallen, we still are." Lie didn't work, let's try the truth.

"Oh Alright, I'm almost alright with it, but fuck a duck, why'd I have to find out on national TV?"

"International TV." Mumbling is definitely good at a time like this. "Because we only really confessed this morning. Honest, if I had any idea that things would go like that you would've known first…well second, Andy found out this morning." Yea, I still haven't found a way of not rambling…do I care? No.

"_Andrew knew? My own son knew before me?"_ Dammit, see this is why I need to lie.

"Well he heard me and Jeff talking about our feelings, he gave us his blessing, which meant a lot to me." Now I'm smiling again.

"_He talked about his feelings? Girl he's a keeper."_ So true, so funny. _"You and Jeff, I can live with that. One of you is old enough and the other is mature enough for this relationship."_ Oh man she is seriously a riot, Jeff's looking at me like I'm crazy, I am but so no the point.

"Umm Aunty, Jeff is looking at me like I'm completely loop-de-fruit so I'd better go." Loop-de-fruit? Where do I get this shit? Oh yea, Bray.

"_Alright, I'll see you and Andrew when you get back."_ Aunty rocks, inside happy dance.

"Yep, Bye Aunty K." I hung up the phone, smiling…still, and laughing.

"She's ok with us." Just get it out first off.

"That's really good yea?" No Jeff it's horrible that my Aunt likes you…

"Really really good. I think this will work, you're my boyfriend, co-worker and neighbour. Shit that's a lot Jeff." Smirking is always good.

"Yep, good thing I'm never gonna get enough of you isn't it." Feelings returned on that one boyo.

"Yep."

"So Squirt." I really do hate that nickname, ah well. "You got a hungy from Orton and Cena why?" I knew this would come up eventually, best to avoid it if possible.

"They lost a bet."

"A bet over me?" No shit.

"Umm kinda." I still don't want Cena dead…just yet.

"So what was the bet?" Can you not see me avoiding it?

"Well you see…umm" How to get out of this? "They had stakes on your relationship status." That should work.

"Go on." How do you not buy that?

"Well you see, they made a bet five months ago. As to why you were away…I think. And well John, no Randy thought you were dating a supermodel." Keep Cena out of this man.

"I knew he deserved a little credit." You are such a bloke. "What'd Cena think?" That you're gay.

"He, well he though you were bi, with a bloke at home." And three two one blow-up…Nothing. No not nothing…he's laughing.

"He would, he's just to straight up to get comfortable." Man that is some bad imagery right there.

"You, you don't care?"

"No, why would I? Actually to be honest a guy hit on me last week. I think it has to do with the nail polish and hair." Man that's trippy.

"That's exactly what John said to defend himself." Laughing we packed up our shit. After having Shawn's, well anyone's boot near my face I need a shower, a _real_ shower. So I gather up the clothes I had come in and go to Jeff's bathroom.

"Jeff, I'm having a shower ok?" Don't you dare even think no.

"Damn Squirt, that's you second shower, using _my_ facilities, do you know what you're doing to me?" I have a pretty good idea, play it cute and giggle.

"I bet this doesn't help any." I took my shirt off as I walked over to the bathroom. Shutting and locking the door before he could answer. Taking a really quick shower, just to refresh myself, I changed into Jeff's old clothes and walked back out the door.

"What no mini?" God you're a guy.

"It's not mine remember." I'm lazy, doorframe is there, you do the math.

"Neither are they." Shut up, I'm not leaving naked.

"Yea, but I don't have to leave them here." Just leave it ok.

"You're really something. Superstars get to keep their wardrobe if they want, unless its like an evening gown or another wrestlers outfit." Ahh so I get the mini.

"So I get the minis?" I really do like them.

"Yep, and Paul and Shawn said you could keep their shirts too." No way.

"So I get two minis, and two DX shirts?"

"Exactly." Wow, a job and two new outfits…good day.

"I could get used to this. It's like a new wardrobe."

"That reminds me" This can't be good. "Vince told me that you're either gonna have to go shipping with me or another superstar to get you some new clothes." Shopping? I _have_ to go shopping? Like it's a big deal…SHOPPING.

"Umm Skittles, I know that you guys have a shit load of money and shit, but all I have is a hungy which I won on behalf of your sexuality, half of which I have to give to Aunty K for the Chinese." Don't shake your head at me.

"Squirt, do you think Vinnie Mac doesn't understand? Why else would he give me a company credit card to give you?" What? Ooh Platinum.

"Company Credit Card?" Oh that's cool. "What? When? How?"

"Yea, he came in when you were in the shower." Damn shower.

"Oh ok I guess." Card meet Bag, bag meet card…you two get along now. Jeff's hand is nice to hold, now, off to find that cousin of mine. On the car ride home I still didn't get the whole card deal.

"Hey Skittles?"

"Yea Squirt?"

"How does the company credit card work?"

"You don't know?" I'm seventeen and worked at a friggin café…what'd you expect.

"Dude, I was a waitress, if the boss needed me to grab something he just gave me cash."

"Ah well, there is a list of names on the card, basically any of the superstars can use it, because the bank gets given signatures and details from the contracts we all sign." So it's like a million little ones?

"Oh ok, so this is like legal and everything."

"Yea babe, it's legal, and yours for the next three days." An unlimited credit card for three days. HELL YEA.

Now at peace with the credit card sleep came easily.


	16. best sleep ever

**I own or secretly borrowed anyone you don't recognise, but no one you do...yet. I'm trying to stay on top of this one now.**

**Read and Review possums. xoxo**

* * *

When I opened my eyes I was surprised to see a ceiling above my head

When I opened my eyes I was surprised to see a ceiling above my head. I was even more amazed when I realised I wasn't alone, there was another form behind me. Just by the feel and touch I could tell it was Jeff. I tried to move so he could continue sleeping but didn't get very far because there just so happened to be an arm heaved over my midsection. So, instead of trying to move I rolled over and looked at the clock, 5:24am, right on time body clock. After about five minutes of lying there I got bored…it's called a short attention span people. So being extremely careful I lifted Jeff's arm and slid out of the way so I could get out of bed. Mission successful. I walked out of the room and down the hall to the kitchen, coffee time.

Just as I took my last sip of coffee the back door opened and out walked a very scruffy looking Hardy.

"Morning Skittles."

"Morning Squirt. Sleep ok?"

"Mmm best in years." I said, stretching.

"Glad I could help then."

"The wake up was a little strange, I mean last thing I knew I was in your corvette, then I'm in my room, with you next to me. I was trippin for a minute."

"Yea, well I didn't want to wake you when we got back so I took you to your room, I went to leave but you wouldn't let go of my arm. Your aunt came by and told me to get comfy. So I did." Embarrassing much? I couldn't look at him after I knew that.

"Sorry Skittles."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Well you could've had a comfy sleep if it weren't for me." Jeff chuckled.

"Are you kidding? That's the nicest sleep in the world, the only that could've made it better is if I had woken up to find you next to me." I could feel the blush appear on my face. "More coffee?" Jeff asked, holding his hand out for my mug. I nodded and handed him the offending item. Jeff disappeared back into the kitchen, and reappeared holding two cups of coffee. Once I had mine I couldn't help but notice how lovely I felt this morning, glancing down at my form I noticed I was clad in my pajamas and not the clothes I was wearing last night. How did I get in these?

"Umm Jeff, you know how I fell asleep in your 'vette." He nodded his head in agreement. "Well I don't remember being in my trainer and well absolutely no pants."

"Ah, well you see, you looked really uncomfortable in your clothes so I changed you." How can you say that like it's the easiest thing in the world.

"Hardy say what?"

"I didn't strip you or anything. I just took off your shirt, put on your trainer, then took off the bra under it. Oh and I took of the pants you were wearing, I say the boy shorts at Raw tonight anyway." Very true, still embarrassing but true.

"I guess I can be ok with that." I said hopping up.

"Where are you going?" Jeff asked looking worried.

"To get some pants on. Could you imagine Andy's face if he saw me in my undies." Jeff scratched his chin in mock thought.

"Good idea." At least I'm hoping it was mock thought.

Feeling like a run, I grabbed old grammar sports shirt, and some basketball shorts, then fumbled through my case to find some fresh socks and grabbed my runners and I was off. I walked back out he door to see Jeff catching some morning rays.

"Where you off to?" To have random sex with strangers…what'd you think I'm about to do?

"Going for a run, you coming?"

"Sure just give me a sec, ok?"

"Pfft, I don't think so boyo, I start now, you catch up…if you can." I said before taking off down the driveway. Once I reached the street I looked back, to find Jeff watching me.

"You go, I'll stay and cook breakfast." He yelled to me. Sounded good, I got my ipod out of my shorts and put the headphones in and took off.

Left, right, right, right, left. I stopped at a park, a fairly large park to have a breather and a drink of water from the bubbler. Right, now just to get back. Not being overly good at remembering names I remembered turns I took, so I could reverse it. Right ok, not to head home for some breakfast…Hardy style. The last turn I took was a left, so I headed right, then two lefts, then what? Shit I can't remember, was it left right to take me home or right left…how confusing. I ran forwards and decided on left right, luckily, actually I think it was more the smell of food that I followed, either way, I made it home, but not without noting a huge three story brick house with a hand statue out the front in a weird peace sign. I'll ask Jeff about it later. I ran back up the driveway and to the back door. I walked into the kitchen and got myself some water.

"You were gone a while." Jeff said, looking at my sweat covered shirt.

"Only what? Forty five minutes."

"Where'd you go?" I missed you so…damn song playing on my ipod.

"A big park, then back again."

"Nice distance."

"Nice park too. Hey do you know the huge brick house a block a half away, it's got a hand out the front with a deformed peace sign in the yard."

"Oh yea, that's Matt's place. I'm going to go see him before we have to go tomorrow, I have to sort out this mess with him."

"You really do, I hate that you guys are fighting over me." He just nodded. I left the kitchen to have a shower and get changed.

I finally settled on a pair of dark purple skinnies and a black shirt with a pair of purple lips on it. I spiked the back of my short hair, and let my fringe hang over the left side of my face. I walked sown the stairs and saw two plates of bacon eggs and toast on the kitchen bar. I sat down at the smaller plate and waited for Jeff to come to the kitchen…where was the boy? I was just waiting when all of a sudden a necklace came around my neck. Guess I found Jeff.

"What the?"

"It's just something to show the world you're my girl." I looked at the purple and black cross pendant and smiled.

"It's beautiful Jeff."

"It opens, there's an inscription on it." I opened the necklace and just as Jeff said there was an inscription. '_Fall fast and hard. Never hold back. ILY Elsie. 5/12/07_' I almost cried.

"ILY?"

"I love you." I did cry. It is absolutely beautiful.

"Jeff thankyou so much. I'm only going to take it off to fight." Jeff put his arms around me and kissed my cheek. "And Skittles," He looked up. "ILY too." A smile that could light up the whole of Brisbane appeared on his face.

"Really Squirt?"

"Really really Skittles. I love you." We leaned in and shared a slow passionate kiss before eating the delicious breakfast he'd made.

As per Mr McMahon's instructions I decided to go shopping, and as interesting as Jeff is, shopping with him may be dangerous to my health.

"Skittles, whatcha got planned for today?"

"I don't know really, why?"

"I was gonna suggest hanging with Andy or fixing shit with Matt coz I wanted to go shopping, I just wish I had someone to go with." Hint hint.

"I've got Ash's number, call her and ask if the divas want to go." He handed me his phone and after locating the number I rang her on the home phone, it wasn't till she answered half asleep I looked at the oven clock…8am, shit.

"Oh my god, sorry Ash, I didn't realise it was still this early."

"That's ok, who's this?"

"This is Elsie, the new diva."

"Ahh the one who loves making me money, what can I do for you today?"

"Umm Vince told Jeff to make me go shopping because I need some 'appropriate' clothes."

"And your not after cargo pants right?"

"Well maybe a pair or two, but mostly no."

"Where are you staying?"

"At my aunts house, Jeff's my neighbour."

"_Alright, I'll get the others and we'll meet you at the mall at noon."_

"Ok Thanks Ash, you're a lifesaver."

"_Mmm lifesavers, see you in a few bitch."_ With that Ashley hung up. I walked back into the living room to find Jeff watching Spongebob Squarepants.

"Cartons much?"

"Yep, I love em. So what'd you and Ash decide?"

"I'm meeting the divas at the mall at noon." Jeff turned off the tube.

"Right, well it's what? 8:15 now. It'll take two hours to get there, so we'd better think about leaving soon."

"You're kidding right, I mean it's 8 and I'm meeting them at midday."

"Yea? So, I'll go home and get dressed then meet you back here." I rolled my eyes.

"Fine I'll clean up the breakfast dishes." Jeff gave me a peck on the cheek and went out the back door to his place. I walked into the kitchen and started on the few dishes there was to do.

"You know the dishwasher great for stuff like that."

"Dan! You're up. How've you been? It feels like I haven't seen you in ages."

"I've been good. I'm spending a lot of time at my friend's house. I saw you on TV last night."

"You don't watch it though."

"Mitch does."

"What'd you think?"

"You seemed to have had a pretty bad night, until that Hardy character kissed you."

"Yea, mostly it was ok actually, maybe the water and superkick weren't that good but I had heaps of fun. Actually they offered me a job, so I'm staying a while."

"Congrats Silly String." The name Dan gave me. He then gave me a hug, which is a big deal for Dan, he's not big on touching. "So what've you got planned for the day?"

"My boss wants me to go shopping so me and some new friend's are going."

"Nice one, hey maybe when you're back we could hang out?"

"Definitely, we gotta catch up soon. Oh and BanDana, the gut who kissed me is our neighbour, we're kinda an item." I swear Dan's mouth hit the floor.

"My silly string found a man?" I nodded. "I'm happy for you S doll." I smiled, and gave him a hug before writing a note for Aunty K and sticking it next to the phone."

"Bye BanDana."

"Bye Silly String." I went out the back to find Jeff on the Veranda.

"Seriously no one likes your name do they?" I smiled. "Silly String, Hellover, Si, Elle, Squirt, Rainy Day."

"Dan also calls me S doll, Aunty Kimmy calls me Elsivador and some of my friends from school called me E-babe, from the whole E-bay era."

"What about your mum?"

"She called me munchkin, of course, and Edna"

"Why Edna?"

"Dame Edna Everage, her greeting is always Hell possums, and my mum used to call me possum so it turned into Edna."

"That's cute. You ready to go now?"

"Yep lets do this thing." And be incredibly early. He grabbed my hand and took me over to his corvette and we took off for my shopping spree.


	17. BnP?

**Hey all, sorry about the lack of update...for ages. There's no excuse, but i can make something up if you want. The first part in italics is the last bit from chapter 16, so you know what just happened.  
Read and Review chickadees. xoxo**

"_Seriously no one likes your name do they?" I smiled. "Silly String, Hellover, Si, Elle, Squirt, Rainy Day."_

"_Dan also calls me S doll, Aunty Kimmy calls me Elsivador and some of my friends from school called me E-babe, from the whole E-bay era."_

"_What about your mum?"_

"_She called me munchkin, of course, and Edna"_

"_Why Edna?"_

"_Dame Edna Everage, her greeting is always Hell possums, and my mum used to call me possum so it turned into Edna."_

"_That's cute. You ready to go now?" _

"_Yep lets do this thing." And be incredibly early. He grabbed my hand and took me over to his corvette and we took off for my shopping spree._

* * *

When we pulled up outside the shops, the time on the dash said 11:30.

"Good timing Skittles, nice and early, but what am I gonna do for half an hour?" Jeff parked the car and opened the door.

"You Squirt? Nothing. _We_ are going to get you a mobile, so I can keep track of you…and so work can reach you of course." A new phone. Sweet. Jeff took me into some phone shop, I really wasn't paying much attention. "Go crazy, pick one." Jeff said as I saw about thirty phones to choose from. I settled on a Sony Ericsson Z550i, believe it or not it was the plainness of this phone that made it stand out. A shoppy came over and he organized the whole deal for me.

"Ok, so all up that'll cost you 189.95." The shoppy, whose name ended up being Carl, said. What a boring name.

"Put it all on that one." Jeff said, pulling a card out of his wallet.

"No Jeff, you can't buy me a new phone."

"Why not? I'm going to annoy you twenty-four seven on it anyway." I rolled my eyes. He probably will too.

"Fine, you waste our money on me if you want to."

"I do." Evil ass, spending money unnecessarily on me. I took my brand new phone off him, programmed his number as well as the home number into it and went off, telling him to give my new number to Aunty K when he got home. He agreed and we left each other then.

"Bye Skittles, no trouble today." I said before he kissed me.

"No trouble for Skittles, I promise nothing for Itchweeed though. Have fun Squirt." Then he left. I wondered around for a while before my phone went off. I rolled my eyes thinking it was Jeff and answered.

"_Hey Bitch."_

"Ash Mash?"

"_Yea, this is Ash, where are you Elsie?"_

"Umm, I'm outside a shop called Hot Topic."

"_Ok see you in like a sec."_ Then she hung up. I programmed her number in my phone and waited. I was waiting for literally a second before I was ambushed by Ashley, Mickie, Candice, Amy and Maria.

"Umm Hey guys."

"Hey" They chorused back.

"Hey Elsie, give me your phone for a sec." Mickie said, so I gave her my phone.

"What'd you want it for?"

"Putting my number in."

"Could you all do that please?" A mixture of sure, you bet and 'course were heard.

"And please don't call me Elsie, it's massively too formal."

"Ok, got any nicknames?" Maria asked.

"Tons, just pick anything you think suits me."

"Sounds good. So where do you wanna head first?" Candice asked.

"Umm I'm Australian. I have no idea what anything is round here."

"SO you're new to the states then? Ho long have you been here for?" Amy asked.

"Umm I got here Saturday, so that's what a week and a half."

"Seriously? I though you might've been here for a couple of months or something." Ash said.

"Nope, that's why I got a new phone. Eleven days, that's it."

"And you already landed Hardy, got a job and punched Jillian in the face…nice work." Mickie said, we all burst out laughing.

"Ok bitches, let's go shopping." I said to the group. "Just take me anywhere, if you find something that you think suits me just grab it and I'll try it on."

"Fun shopping you mean?" Maria said. Maybe she is a little hyper and looking at the words I could use I'm choosing to say naive.

The divas or as I think they are, professional shoppers, dragged me to every single store known to man. I had tried on every piece of clothing known to man. We were now sitting down getting some lunch.

"So Sizzle" Another new nickname, this one from Candice. "You got here nine days ago, but what's the Elsie ummm –

"Bremner" I inputted.

"Elsie Bremner story." She finished.

"Well I was born in Bathurst Australia, me and my mum lived in Tuena until I was eight, then we moved to the city, Brisbane I mean, not Sydney. Where we lived till my Uncle cut the brakes of her car, and she died, I was 10." I said in one breath. "Then about a fortnight later I went and lived with my Gran, she lived in Brisbane so it was ok, but then we moved back to Tuena. Then at fifteen I moved back to my old house, which I won now."

"I'm sorry Sizz." Looks like Sizzle, or Sizz would be my nickname from the divas.

"It's fine Micks" Wonder what their reaction to the _whole_ story would be.

"So why'd you come out here?" Amy asked.

"Well I'm staying with my Aunt and cousins, I come visit them whenever I can, which isn't often."

"I can imagine." Maria said. "I have enough trouble visiting my family and they live in the same country."

"Aunty K, Dan and Andy move a lot." I added. "SO it's not always the states."

"Why do they move so much?" Mickie asked.

"My uncle, the one who's responsible for mum's death, he's been stalking them since the twins were three."

"That's harsh." Ash said.

"Yea, but that's life. Anyway, the moved in next-door to Jeff and he got me the job, so here I am, in a shopping centre surrounded by divas with a million and one bags." A wave of aww's were heard at the mention of Jeff's name.

"So ladies, I think Sizzle here has more than enough to make Vince happy with the effort. Now I think it's time to go back to the hotel and personally I think it's time for a fashion show of Sizzle's new wardrobe." Ash said, strangely enough all the divas agreed.

"You guys are gonna make me no matter what I say aren't you?"

"Pretty much." Amy replied.

"Fine just let me call Jeff and tell him. He's my ride after all." I hopped up and went over to a quiet corner and called Jeff.

"_I don't deal with cobs or earthworms."_

"That is the weirdest way to answer your phone." I said laughing.

"_That's why I did it like that. It usually gets rid of fans and telemarketers."_

"Clever boy."

"_Very, now what can I do for you Miss no actual name?"_

"Original. But ash invited slash, is forcing me to go to her hotel room and give a fashion show of what they picked for me to buy. So I'm going to be there. How are you and Matt doing?"

"_Good. He's come to grips with things, basically he caved before he left the other day, he said the way we looked at each other was enough for him."_ That's seriously sweet.

"Aww that's cute. Say hi to him for me then. I'd better go though babe, Amy looks like she's about to grab me and pull me to the hotel."

"_Bye Squirt."_

"Bye Skittles." I hung up and walked back to the divas. Who had divvied my bags between them and were stood up to leave.

"Let's go bitches." Ash said as we walked out of the shopping centre. We opted to walk to the hotel since it was like a ten-minute walk, then they got into the lift.

"Ash what floor?"

"Four why?"

"I'm taking the stair, always have always will. I'll meet you up there."

"Ok room 408."

"Thanks." With that I was up the stairs in a heartbeat. I'll always choose stairs over lifts and escalators, my friend Mandy has a lovely companion in Trandel, her wheelchair, she was in a major car accident and lost all feeling in her legs. And she told me one night if she could wish for anything it would be o be able to climb stair for a whole day and nothing else. Ever since then, whenever I'm not with Mandy I've taken the stairs.

"Ok, 401, 402, 405, there, 408." I said to myself. I heard a noise behind me and turned to see the divas come out of the lift. "Sucked in I beat you bitches."

"Shit you're fast."

"I take the stairs…a lot. I'm used to it."

"That's amazing, why did you take the stairs though?"

"Appreciation."

"Of?" Amy asked.

"My friend." I told the divas about Mandy and Trandel.

"That's so sweet." Ria said. We walked into Ash's room, which she had gotten out of sharing somehow. The divas squeezed onto the couch and shoved me into the bathroom with the mountain of bags. First one I went for was Victoria's secret, I really need to get one of my own bras on, since I was in a major rush this morning I just grabbed the closest thing, which happened to be Ash's. I put on a black and purple lacy set. Put on some black skinnies and a black and purple corset top. I added some knee high black suede heeled boots and went out to face my audience. I was greeted by wolf whistles.

"Girl, you're majorly HOTT." Mel said, clearly she was invited and came when I was in the dunny getting changed.

"Thanks Mel"

"No wonder we're calling you Sizzle." I walked towards the couches, did a runway turn laughing all the while then walked back to the bathroom.

My next outfit was a hot pink mini with a black halter that had '_secret'_ in hot pink across the chest accompanied by fuzzy pink boots from a store called Sweet soles. Once again I was greeted by wolf whistles and catcalls. That was their reaction to every single outfit I bought.

"Hey Sizz, let's see what was in the Vikki's secret bag." Kelly Kelly yelled to me, after joining the show half way through. The other divas agreed one way or another. So I put on a white rob the hotel left for the guests and exited in the black and purple combo. I stopped outside the door, undid the tie, and in a very Candice fashioned opened the rob revealing my new lingerie. The divas screamed and whistled louder than before. Yea right they're just being supportive.

"Hey what'd you get her for BnP matches?" Mel asked them. What BnP matches are I don't know.

"I think I chose a black set with a red cross on the bra." Ash interjected.

"Let's see it them Sizz." I walked into the bathroom and changed into the lingerie that Ash described, it was hot. I walked out wearing the set Ash got for me. Expecting the divas to be whistling and such I was surprised to hear nothing I opened an eye to see not only Ash, Mickie, Candice, Ames, Ria, Mel and Kelly but also Randy, John and Shawn. CRAP!

"Wow little dude, wow." Was John's reaction.

"Elsie you look…wow" was all Randy could manage and Shawn rushed over to me and put his leather jacket over me. I would've laughed but I was blushing so much I doubt I could.

"Thanks dad." I managed to say after a bit. Not actually realising I had called Shawn dad, which is weird in itself because I had never said the word, not once in my life.

"You're welcome sweetie." He said, either not noticing what I'd done, trying to ease the situation or was prepared to play that role for me. I'll ask him later. Paul walked into the room where you could cut the tension with a knife. Randy and John were still in a frozen state over my BnP state, and the divas over the whole Shawn dad deal.

"What's happened in here?" Paul asked Shawn.

"Just a little BnP bonding." Shawn replied. Which appeared to be the code for acting normal again.

"BnP…that reminds me, Vince reckons it'll be easy enough to put Hellover here in a BnP match against Jillian on Monday."

"Me…Jillian…Monday" I asked, squeaking the last part.

"Yea, you'll be fine, just wear really right clothes." Paul replied.

"Oh Sizz, wear that fist outfit…you truly do sizzle in it." Mel added. I nodded and headed back into the bathroom to change into my normal clothes. I came out to find just Ash left.

"Hey Ash Mash, do you know where Paul and Shawn went?"

"They went to Shawn's room." I opened my mouth. "403." She added, answering my unasked question. Just as I was about to leave my phone rang.

"Hello"

"Hey Squirt, listen Matt and I are thinking of having some bro time, is it possible maybe for you to stay with Ash? Kimmy already said it was fine with her."

"Umm yea sure. I'll see you tomorrow." I said before hanging up. "Hey Ash, can I stay with you tonight? Jeff can't come get me and I have no other way of getting home."

"Sure poppet."

"Thanks Ash, it means more than you know."

"It's fine, now go talk to Shawn." Damn mind reader.

"Just gotta make a quick call first." I dialled home, after like three rings Dan picked up.

"Hey BanDana"

"_Silly string, what can I help you with?"_

"Umm nothing, it's just I'm really sorry Dan, I can't get a lift back tonight, are you busy tomorrow afternoon?"

"That sucks, but no, tomorrow is good."

"Sweet it'll be just you and me all afternoon I promise."

"Alright, see you then S doll"

"Bye BanDana" I hung up and spun around to see a really annoyed Ashley.

"Elsie" Crap first name shit. "I'm gonna ask you for an honest answer here."

"Ok Ash. You're letting me stay honest I can do."

"Who was that you're spending the whole afternoon with tomorrow, sounded like a guy."

"It was. It was my BanDana" I replied. Then realising she had no idea who I was talking about, and from her face I could tell she didn't think it was a cousin relationship between us.

"Mmmhmm" was the only noise Ash made.

"Yea, BanDana. My cousin Dan." Ash let out this huge breath and smiled.

"Sorry Sizzle it's just he way you were talking to him."

"That? That was nothing you should see me and Andy, the one from Raw, we talk and no one seems to understand us at all…it's really funny." I said putting my phone back in my bag. I was about to leave when Ash called me back.

"Here take my key, I'll go down to reception and get another." She said as she handed me her key.

"Thanks Ash." I said and left for Shawn's room.


	18. daddy

**Holy Shit. I haven't updated this ffic in the longest time. This chapter right here is dedicated to JCJF.lover (no matter how shita chapter it may be) because she turned 19 last week (see i'm even late with the post) **

**Read and Review chickletts.**

"_Elsie" Crap first name shit. "I'm gonna ask you for an honest answer here."_

"_Ok Ash. You're letting me stay honest I can do."_

"_Who was that you're spending the whole afternoon with tomorrow, sounded like a guy."_

"_It was. It was my BanDana" I replied. Then realising she had no idea who I was talking about, and from her face I could tell she didn't think it was a cousin relationship between us. _

"_Mmmhmm" was the only noise Ash made. _

"_Yea, BanDana. My cousin Dan." Ash let out this huge breath and smiled. _

"_Sorry Sizzle it's just he way you were talking to him."_

"_That? That was nothing you should see me and Andy, the one from Raw, we talk and no one seems to understand us at all…it's really funny." I said putting my phone back in my bag. I was about to leave when Ash called me back. _

"_Here take my key, I'll go down to reception and get another." She said as she handed me her key. _

"_Thanks Ash." I said and left for Shawn's room. _

* * *

I knocked, then heard some fumbling, and a crash, a little bit of cussing then Shawn was there.

"Hey Shawn, could I…umm…talk to you?" I asked looking down. Shawn put his fingers under my chin and made it so I was looking him dead in the eye. Clearly eye contact wasn't negotiable…dammit.

"Course you can darlin" he then opened the door wider, as I stepped into his room. I walked over to a couch and sat down, he came and sat next to me, facing me, man this was gonna be harder than ever. "What's wrong Hellover?" he used my nickname for the first time that day, yet somehow it sounded off.

"Umm Shawn, about before" I started, maybe he hadn't noticed.

"The dad thing?" He noticed.

"Yea, that, listen I'm sorry I didn't mean to, it's just with the way you came and 'protected' me." Shawn nodded. "That's the most fatherly thing anyone has ever done for me before, ever." Shawn looked saddened by that, not that I know why. "I'm really sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I didn't mean to."

"Darlin it's fine, I don't mind. But it seems to me you need a father figure." Great, now I feel groggy and shitty, way to make my evening. Man my feet just have huge Elsie magnets on them today. "Sweetie, you gotta tell me what's going on in your head."

"It's just…my real father…he left before I was born. His brother is responsible for my mum's death and I've never had anyone like that…ever."

"I'm so sorry sweet pea, I will be that person if you want."

"I don't want to put you out." Say yes anyway…please.

"It wouldn't be, or I wouldn't have offered."

"I don't wanna be a bother."

"Stop making excuses."

"Will you really?" I asked looking at him.

"I already am." That was exactly what I needed to hear.

"Thank you so much."

"You're welcome." Dammit why the hell am I crying? I don't cry.

"Hey, you know today was the first time I ever called anyone dad." I said, whipping the tears that slide down my cheek. "It felt really nice to do." Shawn pulled me into a hug.

"It felt great hearing you call me dad too." He said, resting his head on top of mine. I don't know if he was being honest or not, but it helped all the same.

"Thanks for this…dad." I said hoping up. "I gotta go back to Ash's room, I'm umm spending the night with her, maybe…I was thinking…if you weren't busy well maybe we could possibly-

"Breakfast?" Yea that. I nodded in agreement. "Of course we can sweet pea." We got up and he opened the door for me. Wow my first father figure. This is big, well actually this is fucking HUGE. I walked the five doors back to Ashley's with a spring in my step only to find her sat outside.

"Ash, the bed's _in_ the room."

"I know, but because I wasn't sharing they have a discount which means one key only, if I get another one it'll cost me fifty bucks I believe."

"Ouch, that sucks. How long have you been sat there?"

"Not too long, but get your ass to open this door up quick."

"Sounds like a plan." I helped her up and we went into her room. She flopped onto her bed, looking exhausted.

"Did shopping and watching me try on like a gazillion different outfits tire you out?" I asked playfully.

"Nope but walking up those fucking stairs did." She pulled a pillow under her head. "You must be in the best physical shape ever."

"You walked up the stairs?"

"Yea, for your friend, it makes sense if you think about it. Not that I'll _ever_ think about it again mind you." Lazy shit.

"Wouldn't blame you. It took some getting used to. But you'll never believe what happened with Shawn." This seemed to drain any exhaustion Ash had, she sat upright and looked eagerly at me. It was like an exclusive on new gossip. "Well we talked and in short he's like my new dad…on road of course." I did say in short.

"What about your _real_ dad? Will he mind?" Yea, about that…

"I don't know who my real dad is. All I know is that his brother is my Aunt's ex-husband, the one who stalks them constantly." And tried to kill me…and managed to kill my mother.

"Then I think it's great, you and Shawn I mean." She said, being comforting. We sat in a comfortable silence, well Ash was lying, exhaustion setting back in. I was beginning to think she'd fallen asleep.

"Hey Sizz, if your Uncle is stalking your Aunt and cousins, isn't being on international TV kinda really bad?"

"Nope. Not at all. My entrance is saying from Australia, because of my accent. Besides as far as he knows I'm dead. He thought I was in the car with mum when she died." A few tears managed to escape my grasp and my voice was wavering.

"Aww Sizzle, come here." Ash patted the space next to her, I went over and sat down, only to be pulled into a hug. "Sizz, no matter what some ass think he wants, me, and a heap of other people are really happy you're here." Liar.

"Like who?" Defensive Elsie is out. She comes out when liars are present.

"Hmm let me think," she said _very_ sarcastically. "Well there's Jeff for one, your cousins, was it Dan and Andrew, Me, Ria, Mel, Candz, Mickie, Amz, Kelly, John, Randy, Paul _and_ Shawn. And that's just the start. I can assure you of that." I blinked back the tears that were brewing behind my eyes.

"You really think so?"

"I don't think. I know." She pulled out her phone and dialled someone, then she handed me the phone.

"Who's this?" I asked, gesturing towards the dialling phone.

"You'll see." Great a reverse prank call.

"_Hello"_ Ok, It's clearly a guy.

"Umm Hi" great way to start of a conversation.

"_Before you start, I don't do windows or toilets." _This sounded familiar, a little too familiar.

"You know that's almost exactly how Jeff answers his phone." Fumbling. I'm guessing the wrong thing to say. Clearly the person on the phone was trying to cover it so I wouldn't hear the conversations.

"_Hey Jeff" _they yelled. Wow my Jeff. _"Who've you talked to today?"_

"**My girl and my neighbours. Why?"** Ahhh that's Skittles.

"_No reason"_ more fumbling. _"You're Elsie right?"_ No shit Sherlock.

"Yea, Matt yes?"

"Yea, what can I do for you today Elsie?" Once again background conversations started.

"**Bro, don't call her Elsie, she hates it."** Jeff said interrupting, I'm pretty sure he's buzzed.

"Umm, I don't actually know, see Ashley, she dialled your number after saying people give a shit about me."

"_Ash made you ring me, hmm I think I know now. Elsie, sorry for calling you that, I'll find something better soon, you are a gorgeous independent woman, who has graced the like world with your presence on Raw. Seriously the WWE is really lucky to have snapped you up."_ Now that actually made a few tears fall, after the last time Matt talked about me, this is a complete 180.

"Matt do you really think that?"

"_Yea, you're a barrel of monkeys kid. And you put up with Jeff."_

"Speaking of, could you tell him I say ILY. Thank you Matt."

"_Ok, but only if you tell Ash that I'm sorry."_

"Bye Matt."

"_Bye Kid."_ We hung up.

"So was I right?" Ashley asked, swinging her legs.

"Yep, you were. By the way, Matt says he's sorry." I added passing on Matt's message.

"Really? He said it?"

"Yep."

"Was he hammered?"

"No, not quite, I think he was a try over tipsy though."

"New girl say what?"

"He wasn't smashed but he was a little more buzzed than being tipsy."

"Oh, why didn't you just say that to start with then?"

"I did." Duh. I rolled my eyes, causing her to roll her eyes, so of course I rolled mine back. Then we laughed at how stupid we were being. "I bet I can do something you can't."

"If it includes stairs you win."

"It doesn't. It's a trick. Wanna see?"

"Yep yep" I did my infamous eye trick. It looks like you have an awol eye, but it's seriously simple. "Wow that's really freaky, how do you move one eye like that?"

"I don't. Ok, you go cross eyes, then look right, cross-eyed, look left. Just keep doing that and it looks like you have a rogue eye." I said explaining how to freak the shit out of people.

"That makes it a lot less scary."

"Just don't tell em how you do it." I said as I got up, walked to the other bed and flopped on it. "Hey Ash, can I watch a movie?"

"Go ahead, Vince is paying for it anyway." I scrolled though the movies on offer they were all shit, so I flipped to free to air, just my luck. Welcome to the Jungle was showing.

"Man I love this movie."

"What? The rundown?"

"The rundown?" I asked.

"The movie you're watching."

"Yea, I love welcome to the jungle. It's great." I said focusing back on the movie. "I mean who wouldn't love a movie with The Rock, Seann William Scott, Johnny Knoxville and Arni in it."

"True that." We became completely engrossed in the movie, then my phone rang.

"Yo"

"_You're spending too much time with Cena."_ It's Andy.

"And you spend too much time watching wrestling Andrew Patrick McDougal."

"_Ouch, full name Elsie Helen Bremner. I never did get the whole Bremner thing."_

"Well seen as Ned did a runner before I came about, so mum decided that I'd just take her name. It's not like they were ever married or anything."

"_Yea, I guess that makes sense."_

"It does, so tell me, what does cotton candy need tonight?"

"_Just wondering how you're going? Dan said you were staying with Ashley."_

"Oh that's what this is about. Cotton Candy is looking for the cereal number on the fairy flosser."

"_Ok fine, she's hot. And I may or may not want her number."_

"Too bad. You can't have it. Besides I think that the flosser and M&M have something going on."

"_Ok, Ashley's fairly flosser, but who's M&M?"_

"Jeez Andy, what's the big brother of Skittles?"

"_Oh right, Ashley and Matt…really, what and odd couple."_

"Either way…off limits. I gotta go, well I'm choosing to, but I'll talk to u tomorrow." I hung up and focused back on the movie, well I as trying to Ash was looking at me funny.

"What?" I asked, not looking away from the movie.

"Cotton Candy is looking for the cereal number on the fairy flosser?" she asked.

"Hey I fully warned you that me and Andy talk a little weirdly."

"Oh now I get it, you do it when you want a private convo right?"

"Right."

"Well tell you cousin he can't have my number."

"Hold up! You got that?" First person to get it.

"Well yea, you wanted a private convo with your cousin, when I'm the only one around so I figured it had to do with me, then you said number so I put two and two together."

"And who said blondes were dumb." She laughed at that. We finished watching the movie and headed to bed. I had a busy day tomorrow. Breakfast with Shawn and the afternoon with Dan. Add a drive home with Jeff and I'm almost booked solid.

**Review Review. Review or I'll...I'll get Cryme Tyme to start hanging out with Cena. That's happened too? Hmm see look i knew i needed to update this a fortnight ago...best review or something bad might happen. **


	19. Dan's got a girl!

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**Read and Review. xoxo**

Waking up I roll over to meet, well the floor. It hurt, quite a bit actually. The noise must've woken up Ash coz she looked over and started laughing.

"Thanks Ash."

"No…Problem" She managed between giggles.

I picked myself up and headed to the bathroom. After a quick shower I pulled on a black mini and a green tank top. I spiked my hair, thank god for the mouse I bought yesterday. Added a black leather stud chocker and a pair of combat boots, I was ready to go. I repacked all my new things into a lot less bags, and got my shit together, then me and my ten bags, yes I'm actually that talented, walked out to get Ash's seal of approval before going to meet Shawn.

I walked out the door to silence.

"Where the hell did that look come from?"

"Me" Duh.

"It's hot. I like it."

"Thanks Ash, now I gotta go meet dad for breakfast…wow, dad, that still sounds weird."

"Alright, call Jeff and tell him the plan. He needs to come and get you after all."

"Good point." I whipped out my phone and dialled Jeff's number. The phone is definitely coming in handy.

"_Hello?"_ A very groggy and not so hot sounding Jeff answered.

"Jeff?"

_"Yea"_

"It's Elsie" Boy that boy was not in good shape.

_"Oh Elsie. Hi, how was your night?"_

"A little less booze filed than yours by the sound of it."

"_Hey! I was pretty good. I'm ok this morning so I should be fine."_

"Can you still pick me up?"

_"Sure, when?"_

"Well how about you leave now, then just meet me here when you can. I'm spending time with my cousin today."

"_But babe, you spend heaps of time with Andy"_ Oh my god, the man whined.

"No, I'm spending time with Dan."

_"Oh, ok. Look I'll ring you when I get nearer ok?"_

"Ok, I'll see you later Skittles."

"_Bye Squirt"_ We hung up and I left to go get Shawn.

I knocked on his door for about a minute before he opened it, half dressed and still half asleep.

"Morning Dad."

"Well look at you today, new clothes."

"Just a few." I said as I did a twirl for him.

"Interesting choice of clothes for today." Shawn said, smirking.

"Yea, well I wanted to be prepared for when Paul tries to kidnap me again." We both laughed. "I kinda realised that people have only seen me in purple and black, so I thought I'd wear something different."

"It looks good. Very punkish." That's why he's my 'dad' such an old thing to say.

"Thanks dad." I said grinning. We kinda fell into an awkward yet comfortable silence, before leaving for breakfast, we stayed in this silence till we got to the hotel restaurant. "Are you sure you're ok with the dad thing?" I asked, finally sick of reading my menu…I'd already read it five times.

"Do you honestly think I would've agreed if I wasn't ok with it?"

"I don't know, it's just I kinda pushed it on you, and I don't want you thinking you have to, or to pity me or anything life that." I said, not looking at him, thank god for their very unappealing menus.

"Darlin, I don't pity you. Ok I felt sorry for you and wanted to help, but that wasn't out of pity, a gorgeous girl like you doesn't need pity."

"You really think I'm gorgeous?" I asked, not being used to the while compliment thing.

"Honey, you're the heart break kid's daughter, you are hot stuff." I laughed, happy that the idea of our relationship hadn't tainted the old one we had. Shawn and I talked for a couple of hours, eating breakfast as we chatted, we stayed in the hotel restaurant until my phone went off. 'Death from above' blared through the restaurant, _Jeff_.

"Hey Skittles."

"_Hey Squirt, I'm about ten minutes away."_

"Ok, so I'll meet you outside?"

"_Yea, you can tell me all about your expedition. I'll se you in a few. Bye babe."_

"Bye Jeff." Shawn looked at me.

"New phone?"

"Yea, Jeff bought it for me yesterday."

"Give it here." I handed my phone over and stood up. I presumed he programmed his number in. he handed me back my phone, paid and we walked back up to his room to get my stuff. "Ok, you have my number if you need anything, and I'll see you on Sunday in Alabama." I gave Shawn a huge hug.

"Yea, I'll see you soon. I'll ring tonight. Bye dad."

"Bye Sweetheart." I walked down to the lobby and waited for Jeff.

No sooner had I arrived in the lobby his familiar Corvette pulled up.

"Perfect timing." I said as me and my ten bags went to Jeff's car. He hopped out and opened his boot, for my bags, then waled around and opened my door for me. How cute is that!

"How was your night gorgeous?"

"Great. I had breakfast with dad this morning and got a heap of new clothes."

"And they look sexy as hell…Wait…did you say your dad had breakfast with you?"

"Oh, I meant Shawn…it kinda just happened last night, I guess he's like a father figure or something, anyway it kinda just fits how I se him."

"Nah, I think it's really cute. You and Shawn, you can finally be a daddy's girl."

"Shut up goofball."

"Fine." Jeff rolled his eyes, and shoved a handful of skittles into his mouth.

"How did I not see that coming? Do you always have skittles in your car, or just when your recovering form a hangover?"

"Very funny. Wanna walk home?"

"No you're absolutely right there master, you know best and run my life."

'Yes, yes I should. Would you like to be my slave girl…we could have some fun." He wiggled his eyebrows, and I laughed at his attempts.

"I don't think so boyo." I said smiling.

"I'll wait till your ready, I'll always look after you girl."

"This must be fake" I said muttering to myself, but I think Jeff heard, ok I know Jeff heard, mainly because the ass started laughing at me. Not liking the fact he was laughing at me, I put on my best quizzical expression.

"My lips start to shake" What is this boy on? My lips are fine…must be messed up in the head or something. I shook my head at him. "How does she know who I am" I googled you…duh. "And why does she give a damn about me" OH RIGHT, Now I've got you boy.

"I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden baby, come with me Friday, don't say maybe, I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby like you."

"I knew it!" He said with an all knowing smile.

"Know what?"

"You're a teenage dirtbag too. Oh the fun we could have!" Jeff got this really spaced out smile on his face, it was almost funny, _almost_.

"I was playing you're game!"

"And it worked, I got you to admit you're just like me!"

"Is that a crime?"

"Yes." He answered seriously.

"Jeff" I began, but didn't know how to finish.

"It's ok, it's not your fault I'm so perfect you wanna be like me."

"And it's not my fault you can't stop thinking about me nude."

"I never said it was." Jeff replied seriously. You gotta be kidding me though right, I just said the most random thing to pop into my head.

"You wally! Can you choose one way to act? You keep going from serious to loopy in like point five seconds. It's tripping me out completely and utterly."

"Wally?"

"Shut up. I swear if I have to say it's normal for me once more…

"Ok, but what does it mean in this sense?"

"Umm goose, idiot that kind of thing."

"Oh"

"It's kind of nicer though, like parents call their children wally's."

"Ok, I guess I can stop acting schizo for you, just don't tell anyone."

"Gotcha Skittles, your secrets safe with me." For the rest of the ride back to Cameron we didn't have any serious conversations, just light and simple. The way people should act more often. I swear we were like ten minutes from our street when Jeff brought the serious stuff back up.

"So Squirt, I want you to know that I want you to control the pace of this relationship ok, I don't at any time want you to feel uncomfortable or pressured."

"Really?"

"Yea, I don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable doing."

"Thanks Skittles, I mean you're kind of like the first relationship I've been in, well if you exclude the retarded school ones, where it's _only_ in school."

"You mean I'm your first…like everything?"

"Kinda, I meant I've made out with people at parties and stupid stuff like that, nothing serious."

"Parties?"

"Come on, what'd you expect, there are some perks to having my own place."

"Matt and I threw a party like once when dad was out of town. Dad got home before either of us had woken up an the place was a mess, he cleaned it up and pretended not to know anything, then at dinner he cracked shit at us." I laughed really hard thinking of how messy and out of hand parties tend to get.

"Yea, the morning after is never a pretty sight. The bottles, the spills, the random bodies with hangovers, but really with the actual party I think it's worth it, besides, Bray always helped me clean up." At Bray's name Jeff looked over almost scared.

"Bray? Was that the high school boyfriend?" how much did he drink last night, I swear we covered this twice already.

"Braydon? My Boyfriend?" I was laughing so hard I cried, Jeff just looked really sad, like someone killed his puppy. "Jeff, Braydon is my best friend." This really didn't do much for a _very_ forgetful Jeff. "He's blue as a barney's tail."

"He's what?"

"Gay, as gay as they come. I swear I've told you this before."

"He's gay?" Jeff automatically relaxed tenfold.

"Scared much colouring book?"

"Well duh, my babe of a girlfriend just said her best friend was a guy."

"Yea, but you knew that AND he's like my all time girlfriend." We laughed like there was no tomorrow.

"Do you feel better now Jeffy?"

"I will if you promise never to call me Jeffy again."

"Promise"

"Then I feel great." I leaned over and gave him a peck on the lips, he was after all driving, not that his driveway really counted, but still. Once he had stopped his car, he leaned over and gave me the most passionate kiss of all time. I almost wished he hadn't kissed me, now I didn't want to spend with Dan, I wanted to stay with Jeff.

"I really don't like you sometimes Jeff, now I've gotta go."

"You love me."

"Sure." I said, as I readjusted my top and skirt to show _as much_ skin as possible.

"Girl if you only knew what you were doing to me right now."

"There was a reason I readjusted my clothes you know. I'm really not as naïve as you think I am."

"Never said you were. But girl, you'd better leave if you plan of getting away." I laughed and got out of his care. "Love you devil child."

"You realise you're calling Shawn the devil."

"So I am."

"Love you Skittles." And I walked towards Aunty K's house. I just got to the door when Dan came out to greet me.

"You looked like you had fun this weekend." He said, I'm not sure if he was referring to my bags, or the kiss I'm pretty sure he just saw me and Jeff share.

"Ummm yea…I did."

"Nice outfit by the way, not something I'd buy, but it suits you." I reached up and gave my cousin a kiss on the cheek.

"I got a whole new wardrobe and a new phone, a new dad and I get ot spend the day with you I'm on top of the world."

"A new dad?"

"Oh yea, umm you know the guy that I pulled off the apron on Raw, well some stuff kinda happened and the end result is that he's like a dad to me, a father figure." Oh yea, like I'm gonna tell him a heap of people saw me in my undies.

"Aww Doll, I'm so happy for you."

"Really?"

"Truly."

"So what have you been up to? Are you enjoying it here?"

"Yea, I really am." Dan said, taking a seat on the lounge chairs. "I've found a group of friends."

"Go Dan, Go Dan. I'm so proud of you. I know how hard it is for you to make new friends."

"I know, but yea, they are really great."

"So there's Mitch, who else?"

"There's Mitch, Ricko, Nate, Sam and Adam."

"Wow, that's quite a few. So Mitch and you are closest?"

"No, Sam and I are."

"So Sam, How'd you meet him?"

"Her actually, we met in science, and we clicked. We've been going out for just over two weeks, I like her a lot." I screamed.

"Dan! You found a girl! I'm so proud of you!" I hugged him. It was weird, it was the closest I've ever felt to Dan, I guess I finally found something I have in common with him, I mean we are both like wound up over people.

**Review, I'd love to know what you guys think of this ffic. xoxo**


	20. Now that's passion

**Hey chickadees. I haven't had a disclaimer for a while. I own nothing, hell I only own this computer because my sister bought a laptop. Elsie is mine, so is Sam, neither of them ARE me. **

**Read and Review. xoxo**

Dan and I pretty much spent the rest of the day gossiping. Man I only wish I'd known Dan was such a gossip earlier. Anyway, Sam seems really sweet, she's around five foot eight, mousy brown hair, light freckles, "gorgeous huge eyes", slim and completely loves math and computers. Clearly she and Dan are like wildflowers, except he loves science and history, but same diff right. Anyway not the point, the pint is by the way he talks about her you can tell he's like arse of tit for the chick. Daniel Even and Samantha Ellen, even their middle names are almost the same. Well Sam or Sammy for short. It's funny because by the end of the day I felt like I knew all there was to Sam, including the fact she has size 8 shoes and that her parents are 'not so happily' married.

"So BanDana. I'm guessing you've earnt yourself some brownie points with Cotton Candy for having an ascot yea?'

"Silly String, you cannot spray my pavement, right now it's clean and I don't need or want to spend hours trying to remove the crap the cans leave on it." I was appalled.

"Dan why haven't you said anything? Are you embarrassed to tell your mum and Andy? Or is there something more?"

"No it's not that, it's just I was waiting to see if it's serious."

"That's a bigger lie than the amount of slack on the clothesline."

"Fine, I'm nervous ok, I don't know how they'll react, like what id Andy decides he likes her, or mum doesn't like her at all!"

"Dan, it's ok, I promise, I trust Aunty K's judgement, if I were stuck in the dessert I'd want her as my camel so I'd always be ok. And Andy's not that low, he likes my friend Ash anyway…well her and probably Kelly." We laughed at the thought of Andy swooning over famous chicks, well I did anyway. "Dan, you've gotta trust me and just admit you're in a relationship, they'll support you. Look at K and Andy, she supports him." I was going to leave it there, until I repeated what I'd said in my head. "When it comes to relationships." I added, thinking about some of the things Andy has actually done.

"I guess you're right S Doll, I'm just nervous, I really don't wanna fuck this up."

"You won't, and if you ever need to chat, I'm here, coz you know I'm going through the same stuff you are, I seriously think I might be falling in love with Jeff."

"You've only known him for like a week though."

"You know love at first sight."

"That's lust Si."

"That's what I thought, but then we got to talking, and the feelings just grew, it's like my love was a boomerang, someone threw it a long time ago, and I just got it back. It hit me like a steamroller."

"Then I'm happy for you." We hugged, bright lights that could only belong to a car brought us out of our gossip state. Aunty Kimmy was home.

"Hey you two. Haven't seen either of you in a while."

"Shopping spree." I gave as my explanation.

"I was at Sam's last night mum, I got home at 11 but you weren't here."

"You were at Sam's? That's so cute." I said almost cooing at my eighteen-year-old cousin.

"Why is it cute?" Aunty asked, Dan gave me a death glare, but it didn't hold up against my puppy dog look. Guess he's gonna have to tell her now. Oops.

"Umm, Sam is my girlfriend Mum."

"Girlfriend? My Dan found a girl?" Dan nodded and I swear I saw tears in Aunty K's eyes. "Guess its only Andrew that needs a girl now." I cracked a grin and eh thought of Andy trying it on with the divas.

"Her name is Sam and I really like her so don't go all embarrassing on me."

"Me? Embarrassing? I think you've got it wrong." Dan rolled his eyes, but it's true, Aunty Kimmy was known to embarrass her kids…including me, at any time possible.

"Mum" Dan whined, yea whined.

"Ok, I'll behave when I meet her." Aunty said. "My little boys are growing up."

"Come on, Andy's had heaps of girlfriends before."

"I know"

"So what's the difference?"

"Dan. Andy he is well a little too carefree, the idea of a girlfriend is just status, not important. But you, you are more serious about emotions, and this, this might just be a serious relationship."

"So you won't judge her, like you do Andy's girls?"

"Nope, completely judgement free, scouts honour."

"Thanks mum, it means a lot." He gave his mum a quick hug, very manly I think, but so cute.

"Right now I've gotta get out of this hideous uniform before I gag." Aunty K said, ruining the sweetness. Gotta love Aunty Kimmy. "Now Ell girl, you'd best come with me and tell me about your schedule." I followed Aunty K into her cramped room, as I thought that I spent absolutely no time in their house since arriving, maybe if I had, I would've realised that Aunty K took the smallest room, it's even smaller than mine.

"My schedule?" I asked, sitting on her bed.

"Yes, where about are you headed coming up? How long are you going to be off for? That kind of thing."

"Oh. To be honest I'm not entirely sure. Mr McMahon said he'd post me a schedule thing in the mail, to Jeff's house." As if on cue there was a knock on the door. Dan's voice wafted through.

"Mum, Doll face, Jeff is here."

"Thanks BanDana." I replied, I got up and left the room to find Jeff sitting on the couch.

"Skittles!" I squealed running towards him.

"Squirt" He replied, mocking my squeal. I jumped onto his lap and gave him a massive hug, and we just sat there for a while cuddling. "Oh right, I got something from Vinnie Mac in the mail for you."

"My schedule?"

"Dunno, didn't open it."

"Then give it here Dumbo."

"My ears aren't that big."

"No, but you gotta have some secret that lets you fly, now give me my mail." He handed me an A4 sized envelope and I tore it open. I read through the schedule.

"Ok, so for two months it's shows in America."

"Yea, there are shows on Monday, Thursdays and Saturdays."

"Woah, hold up, Australia, as in Australia Australia? Hell yes."

"Give it here a sec Squirt." I passed him the envelope. It clearly said we would be in Australia for two weeks in two months time. That would give me time to show Jeff my home.

I looked over the abroad tour sheet, there was a show in Brisbane, that's where mum and I lived for a while. Then a show in Sydney before we got a week off, where I can take Jeff home and show him around. Then another Sydney show, the real Raw, then onto Melbourne for another house show before coming back to the states. I can handle that.

"Look there's a week off, do you wanna come see my place?" I asked enthusiastically.

"I'd love to, where about is it?"

"Umm about 2 and a half hours out of Sydney."

"Ok. Wow Australia. There's a first."

'You've never been?"

"Never."

"Ha, I have one up on you then."

"Yea, you do." Ok, so I'll have to show him the whole Sydney deal, Opera house, Harbour Bridge thing people find fascinating. Australia Zoo and Mt Cootha in Brisbane and well Melbourne I'm not too familiar with, but the city there is off the hook.

"We'll have fun." I said, confident that we would. "But now Mister, you have to leave. Me and Aunty K are hanging out tonight."

"What about Dan?"

"He got a girl to go to…Andy however I haven't seen."

"He's on the track."

"SO you need me to keep Aunty K distracted anyway."

"Yep."

"Ok, well I'll see you tomorrow. Ok?"

"Ok, ILY Squirt."

"ILY squared Skittles." He leaned in and gave me a soft, passion filled kiss before leaving. Man I hate it when he does that, always leaves me wanting more…grrr.

Aunty Kimmy practically burst out of her room.

"Wow, now that was passion." She exclaimed as she came into the kitchen. I blushed, embarrassed. "You two are cute together. So what'd lover boy want?"

"He had my schedule."

"So what's going on with you coming up?"

"Well there are a whole heap of shows coming up, umm I have to work Saturdays and Thursdays, doing house shows, and Monday for the televised Raw."

"Ok, so what's gonna happen?"

"Well I think I might do what Jeff does, he flies out on Saturday morning, then drives to the live show before flying back for a few days before going somewhere new. So I'll be gone Saturday mornings, back Tuesday day, then leave Thursday mornings catch a red eye back that night."

"So we see you Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday?"

"Pretty much."

"Ok, that's good."

"It is?" No complaining or anything?

"Well yea, it's far more than a full time job, or my job for that matter." I felt bad for Aunty K then, I mean I know how much she does for her boys, after all I live by myself…well I did.

"They do appreciate it you know Aunty."

"I know." I gave her a hug, feeling that she needed one. We ended up just watching chick flicks that night, not really in the mood for anything requiring effort. We passed out around 1am.

**There you go. Now Review...or i'll make flying monkeys come and swoop you when your near their young. What? They're magpies? No way! Flying monkeys are coolier. **


	21. scared shitless

**I am so sorry for the MASSIVE time laspe between my last update and this one. I have been pretty much working NONSTOP, and sick and feeling horrible. I've been behind on everything. And I am very sorry, This update is for **iNdy MiLk **for telling me to get off my arse and actually update this one. **

"_So we see you Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday?"_

"_Pretty much."_

"_Ok, that's good."_

"_It is?" No complaining or anything?_

"_Well yea, it's far more than a full time job, or my job for that matter." I felt bad for Aunty K then, I mean I know how much she does for her boys, after all I live by myself…well I did. _

"_They do appreciate it you know Aunty."_

"_I know." I gave her a hug, feeling that she needed one. We ended up just watching chick flicks that night, not really in the mood for anything requiring effort. We passed out around 1am. _

* * *

I woke with a fright to a loud bang. Pretty stupidly I walked towards the noise, who does that? But luckily it was just Andy, having stacked it over the shoe rack they have. I laughed at him, before hitting his head, Gibbs style.

"Andrew Patrick McDougal do you know what time it is?"

"Umm no"

"Neither do I but you woke me up."

"Sorry, I didn't wake mum did I?"

"No, Now shut up and take me to bed."

"Are you high? Why on earth would I want to do that?"

"Coz I can stamp and stomp about being woken up." Clearly I can wake up your mum you dipshit. His face just went really pale.

"You wouldn't." He said shakily.

"You wanna try me? Now carry me to bed monkey."

"Fine, I'll organise myself, give me a minute ok."

"Fine." I said, adjusting my body, so all my weight was on one foot. Andy held up a finger, signalling to give him a minute, I nodded, waiting to see if he'd actually carry me or not. I mean, clearly I'm not going to wake up Aunty K, I mean she has to be at work at like half five or something retarded like that, that's just cruel. Andy disappeared into the kitchen, to emerge like a minute and a half later.

"I said a minute _not_ two." I said, exaggerating like I was waiting a lifetime.

All of a sudden from behind I was picked up, with Andy being in front of me I almost screamed. Dan, I thought, it must be Dan. No, Dan's arms are way smaller than this, it wasn't Jeff, no familiar scent. I got really scared and was majorly about to scream, waking Aunty K or not. I'm pretty sure Andy picked up on this because he came closer and covered my mouth with his hand, I licked it. Annoying hand people. He immediately pulled away and told the carrier to take me away in a harsh whisper. How cruel? Who says to take someone away…He sounds like the queen of hearts in Alice and Wonderland _"Off with their heads!"_ But now isn't the time for Alice in Wonderland, I was taken outside, and I was scared, I mean shit scared. I mean this town may be small but I've been on the highway, and from here, not far at all. What's worse is that I knew some stranger had me, and Andrew wasn't stopping anything.

Great, now the guy readjusted his arms, carrying me in one, putting is hand over the other, I kind of gave up, knowing I really couldn't win against the unknown. I relaxed a little, I mean Andy knows the guy and trusts him at least. I was shoved into a car. That time I did scream, unfortunately another hand covered my mouth before I could make any real noise. I licked it too, but instead of freaking out the hand just moved to my eyes, so the first person could move. I was completely freak. I mean Not only am I in a car, with _two_ people who won't let em know who they are…I also have spit on my eyelids and brows…and what's worst? It's _my_ spit! The car stated to move. How the fuck could Andy allow me to be kidnapped?!

**Who do you think it is? I wanna know. Where should this ffic go? Read and Review kiddies. xoxo**


	22. unpajama party

**A huge thank you to everyone that reviewed the last chapter. Reviews make me happy. I'm trying to not let my ffics get away from me...clearly that didn't work too well before but let a girl try. **

_I was shoved into a car. That time I did scream, unfortunately another hand covered my mouth before I could make any real noise. I licked it too, but instead of freaking out the hand just moved to my eyes, so the first person could move. I was completely freak. I mean Not only am I in a car, with two people who won't let em know who they are…I also have spit on my eyelids and brows…and what's worst? It's my spit! The car stated to move. How the fuck could Andy allow me to be kidnapped?!_

* * *

The car stopped, what was the combo? It felt like right, left, right, right. Crap I hope that's it, coz I'm planning to do a runner as soon as they let me go. One guy still had their saliva-covered hand over my eyes, but moved me so he had the other supporting under my shoulders. Great, fucking great, he's in prime grope spot, trust me, I know. Then the door my feet have been kicking since we started moving opened, and my feet were grabbed by I'm guessing the first guy who had me. This time I did scream, neither of them did anything, but neither did anyone else.

After like three minutes of being crudely carried, I was put on my feet but still being held by the guy who could grope me as I walked. Man I really wanted Jeff, like so bad. I was majorly scared shitless. I heard a door open, and I was pushed and lifted by the guy who still had me, finally I was set down, and the ferrel hand was finally removed from my face. SHIT. Where the fuck am I? I've never seen this place before. Ok Elsie think rationally, you're in a kitchen, a fairly hideous blue kitchen at that.

"How you doing little Dude?"

"John? _You_ did that to me?

"Me and Randy, yea, what'd you think you were being kidnapped or something."

"God you're an ass, so where are we? Too close to be a hotel."

"You're right, now get up, I didn't hurt you that much when I was holding you in the car."

"That was you then? Man you got spit all on my face."

"Yea, well you got spit all over my hand, deal with it." He walked out of the kitchen, still not knowing where I was I figured I was safer following John than not. I followed him to what seem like some massive dark room. Great, now ii really am alone. I grabbed for the wall near the kitchen, and seared for a switch. Found one.

"SURPRISE!" about forty odd people yelled.

"What the –

"Welcome to the WWE Elsie." I guy with a _really_ ugly jersey said. "I'm Shane, Shane McMahon."

"McMahon? Ok." Then I took a quick glance around the crowd. Ash, Candice, Mickie, Amez, Ria, Mel, Kelly, Paul, Shawn, Jeff's brother from the other night, Matt, and Jeff were there, as well as John and Randy, of course, strangely Aunty K, Dan and Andy, as well as a heap of people I didn't know. I walked over to Jeff, and just clung to him. He chuckled, and Andy walked up to me. I thumped him. Hard. He actually winced in pain.

"Andy. You my friend, are an asshole."

"You love me."

"Course I do, so what's with the people?"

"Party." No shit Sherlock.

Why's there a party?"

"You" Matt answered.

"Me?"

"Yep sweetheart" Shawn answered. How the hell are all these people in _mine and Jeff's_ conversation? "We wanted to welcome you toe the WWE and let you meet some very cool people. I hugged him, then dragged him to where Aunty K and Dan were standing, Andy followed me.

"Aunty K, Dan, this si Shawn, my unofficial dad, Dad, this Aunty Kimmy and Dan."

"Pleased to meet you." I wandered off Shan and Kimmy chatted. I like literally walked to into Paul.

"Hellover, nice to see you."

"Hey Paulie. Did I tell you I was like kidnapped to come to some like really weird party."

"No I haven't heard that one. You look fabulous by the way." I looked down, still in my mini skirt and green tank from when I fell asleep, thank god I didn't get in my pajamas.

"Yea, well I had to be prepared for the next time you and Shawn abduct me. Too bad I wasn't in a pair of slacks and a football jersey with John and Randy." I said before we both laughed. Paul seemed to act like a host, taking me around to meet new people.

By the end of the night I had met Paul London and Brian Kendrick, Cody Runnels, Chris Irvine, Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, who seemed really nice, like an uncle…well that's what I imagine an uncle would act like, clearly mine set very bad standards. Mark Calloway, Glenn Jacobs, Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross, Steve Williams, but everyone seems to call him stone cold…go figure, Mick Foley and a heap of other people that seemed ok, most of them did anyway, all except this one guy, Carlos…no wait he wanted to be called Carlito, but this nice guy Ken something, he stepped in and told the guy with the afro to step off. Nice man, apparently he just got married, how cute.

After having a million conversations, which I managed to avoid saying anything really to anyone, I was exhausted, who knew having a past could be so much effort. I collapsed onto the couch next to Matt.

"Hey, how are you?" He asked, I found out, somewhere between Carlito and Eddie Fatu that this was Matt's place.

"I'm buggered" I said whilst yawning.

"Busy day?"

"You don't know the half of it." I was about to go all complaining bitch on his ass when I remembered that I should probably thank him.

"Thanks Matt."

"For what?"

"For this, for trying and for accepting me and Jeff. It all means a lot."

"You're welcome kiddo, you're like family or something. WWE, Jeff's girl, Ash's favourite new person."

"Ok. Two things?"

"Shoot."

"Where is Skittles? And You and Ash? What happened?"

"Skittles? Jeff?"

"Yea"

"He passed out about half an hour ago, so me and Paul carried him up to his room."

"Passed out? You mean I have to deal with hungover Jeff?"

"No I mean he fell asleep."

"Oh, he zonked out. Gotcha. Now you and Ash Mash, there is something there right? It's not my imagination?"

"There was." Matt said looking miserable, great I know just how to ruin days.

"You wanna talk about it? I mean the crowd has thinned out drastically, actually to the point where my ride is gone."

"Oh, right, you're staying here, with Jeff, your ummm cousin or someone packed all the new shit you got into a bag for you."

"Kay"

"Umm can I talk to you like in the office?" He got up and I followed him to his study.

"You ok?"

"It's me and Ash, I think."

"So I'm not dumb" I said more to me than Matt.

"We had been going out for I don't even know how long…ages."

"Ok, but dude, lesson one, always know how long you've been dating, if you forget then you're just sending the chick a '_you don't care_' signal"

"Nine months, three weeks, five days, six hours" Matt checked his watch. "And forty-three minutes."

"Ok, now that was scary." I comforted him by putting my hand on his. "So Matt, if you're so into this relationship why does it seem to be over?"

"I fucked up."

"What'd you do?"

"Well nothing. I mean well I don't know."

"Ok, why don't you just try to explain, well whatever to do with it."

"Thank you Elsie." He rubbed his forehead. "Well I guess it all started when she moved to Raw. I was completely devastated, anyway the writers thought it would be good to pair her with Jeff, you know princess of punk and the king of extreme."

"Umm what?"

"Oh right, they're kind of like nick names people use for Jeff and Ash."

"Ok, continue."

"Anyway, both of them said absolutely not. That it was too weird." I smiled that Jeff was in fact all mine, on and off screen. "Vince understood."

"So where is the problem?" I asked royally confused.

"Well the problem is that one of the divas overheard and she left after she heard absolutely."

"And let me guess, it was Jillian and she told you, and you believed her."

"Well yea, actually."

"So you ignored Ash and Jeff….or you got really pissed at both of them."

"I ignored them. I went to go deal with Jeff the night I saw you and him." He explained. "Turns out that Melina had seen and heard everything Jillian had, and she told Ash what happened, who told Jeff, who tried to tell me on the phone, but I wouldn't listen. So when I saw him and you I just did anything to ruin it, because I had fucked up what Ash and I had. And for what?"

"You want an honest answer?"

"Well it was supposed to be a rhetorical question, but ok."

"So Jillian could get you to stop the storyline, so that she could go back to trying to sleep with your brother."

"Are you kidding me? This was all because that toad needs to get laid?"

"Pretty much. But when you give off to Ashley that you don't know half the shit you actually do, you are seriously making her doubt the feeling you have for her."

"When'd you get so smart?"

"When I was fifteen." Matt leaned over and gave me a hug.

"Thanks Elsie."

"Hey Matt, can you seriously not call me Elsie."

"Alright. I'm sorry."

"It's ok, just annoying."

"I know what you mean Maggot."

"Maggot? Why Maggot?" Oh man now I'm whining!

"I really don't know, but how about this, the name stays maggot, but only you and I know that, I'll just call you Magz the rest of the time."

'I guess that's ok."

"Now I think we should go to bed, you and Jeff gotta be gone early tomorrow."

"Night Matt."

"Night Magz" He walked up the stairs, but I just moved to the couch, so I was lying down. "You coming Maggot?"

"Where to?"

"Bed, you're sharing with Jeff." I jumped up and practically ran up the staircase.

"Show me the way then." He showed me to a room, not wanting to disturb Jeff, I just walked over to the bed and climbed in with what I was wearing kicking off my shoes, obviously. I got comfy, lying against Jeff, and drifted off into a fabulous sleep.

**Hope you enjoyed that one. Is anyone else jealous of Elsie? Or is it just me? OOO Read and Review...or I'll turn Paul Burchill back into a pirate...wait WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING? I liked Paul Burchill as the pirate...Review anyway...I'll give you a cookie. xoxo**


	23. D&M's and chokers

**Thank you muchly for the reviews and the people who added it to their favourites or alert list. It really does mean a lot. **

"_Night Magz" He walked up the stairs, but I just moved to the couch, so I was lying down. "You coming Maggot?" _

"_Where to?"_

"_Bed, you're sharing with Jeff." I jumped up and practically ran up the staircase. _

"_Show me the way then." He showed me to a room, not wanting to disturb Jeff, I just walked over to the bed and climbed in with what I was wearing kicking off my shoes, obviously. I got comfy, lying against Jeff, and drifted off into a fabulous sleep._

* * *

I woke up with this weird feeling, sure it could be from the fact I had the same dream, well nightmare as the one I had just before leaving Australia, but I don't think it was that. I know what it is, someone's watching me. I rolled into Jeff, looked up at his face, no he is in a blissful slumber, and pouting. Dammit I'm never wrong. I rolled back over, standing in the doorframe was on Matthew Hardy.

"What are you staring at me for?" I asked, rather thankful I woke up _before_ I started screaming.

"You have nightmares often?" Shit, maybe I didn squirm…or scream.

"What are you talking about?" I couldn't tell Matt about everything, I was just brave enough to tell Jeff.

"You, you were having a nightmare, you were whimpering and tossing and turning."

"I was?"

"You were Squirt. I tried just holding you through it, but whenever I touched you, you would jump back and cower, like I'd hit you."

"Skittles, I'm so sorry, I didn't…not you…you have never done a think to me in any way shape or form, dream or not. I love you. Always remember that." We shared a morning hug and as we hugger poor worn out Jeff fell back to the world of slumber. Matt pointed to me, pointed to himself then pointed to his study. Great, me, him, d&m. Just what every girl needs first thing in the morning.

"There better be coffee Hardy." I whispered harshly.

"There is" I begrudgingly got up, fixed my outfit, and followed Matt to his study. "No Magz, what dream could be that bad that you couldn't tell Jeff, but you cowered from him?"

"I was being honest, Jeff didn't touch me in my dream."

"Then who? Who did?"

"It was the dream I had in Australia, then I cam e and met Jeff, I'm so scared it's going to be true." Matt came and engulfed me in a brotherly hug.

"Then tell me about it, you'll feel better." Grrr stupid logic.

"Ok, but not one word leaves these walls." He nodded. "Ok, so I'm in this uber dark room, like I can't see a thing right. Then this chick starts asking if I'm awake and I ask what she wants with me, she's like it's not me it's my baby-

"Wait you're pregnant?" Way to interrupt me Matt!

"Matt do I look like I'm pregnant…more importantly, do you honestly think I'd accept a contract to be beat up every week if I were carrying a child?"

"Ok, my bad. Sorry."

"Anyway, I'm all like I'm not pregnant, so she's like don't play dumb and goes off on how Jeff proposed to me the week before."

"So the dreams weren't identical?"

"No. Back in Oz I honestly said I had no idea who in the blue hell Jeff Hardy was."

"But now?" I was getting to that Matthew.

"Well I said something like, Jeff and I just got together, neither of us are ready for a step that big in any relationship, so why would we tie the tarnish."

"Tie the tarnish?"

"It's a family saying for get married."

"Ok. And you're scared that because you know Jeff and you're dating that the dream is like your future right?"

"You, you know for a bogan you are pretty smart."

"I really don't know if that's an insult or a compliment."

"Take it or leave it." Honestly I don't know either, but who would tell him that?

"I'll just accept it, how about that."

"Good good, but Mattie, what'd I do about my dream?"

"Well if it's freaking you out this bad, then the answer is simple, either say no to Jeff if he ever asks you –

"Not an option, I'm definitely not one to turn my back on something because I'm afraid." Matt made a mental note of that, and decided it was for the best, especially entering into a relationship with his brother.

"Or, when that happens, just make sure you're around people you trust for the next two weeks, easy."

I guess you're right."

"I always am."

"Sure you are Matthew. Sure you are." I giggled, and he play swatted the back of my head.

"Good now girly?"

"Good now." I got up and walked to the door. "Oh and Matt, talk to Amez today, she was here last night, if she really wanted nothing to do with you she would've just rung me." Matt smiled.

"Thanks Maggot." I nodded and walked off to wake Jeff up.

Ok so waking Jeff up is mega hard. Who woulda funk it? I didn't, I mean it was the first time I kind of had to, I just let him get his ass up usually, but we had to board a plane from Raleigh in like three hours, we were already behind schedule. I was short out of luck, waking up Jeff, not on my experience list, I walked back into his study to get Matt…who wasn't there. Shit. Now what do I do? Matt was still my best, and at this point, only option, I'd just have to find him. Maybe he's in the kitchen, I know where that is…that's where I was abducted to. I walk to the kitchen. No Matt. His bedroom maybe? If only I knew where that was, must be upstairs at least. I walk upstairs, knocking on any closed door, after my third door of no success I get a 'yea'. Not sure what was behind the door I spoke through it.

"Matt can you please wake up Jeff."

"Why won't you do it?" I'm thinking Matt doesn't usually enjoy this task.

"I tried, he wouldn't budge." The door opened. Matt was smirking.

"This'll be fun." I was almost scared. The almost flew off that sentence when Matt ran full speed past me towards where Jeff was sleeping. I didn't actually know this but the door didn't shut properly, so Matt just flew straight in, and body slammed his brother. Jeff screamed.

"Matt! Get off me, let me sleep."

"Nope, get up, you have a plane to catch."

"No I don't…just give me a little more time."

"Fine, you have more time to the bed, Elsie and I will have some time downstairs…without you…possibly with a certain photo album that a certain brother of mine tried to ditch me with."

"You wouldn't?" Jeff's eyes got all big and round, that boy was _definitely_ awake now.

"You know I would" Jeff rolled over, causing Matt to fall of the bed.

"See I'm up now. So no brother torture."

"You pushed me off the bed. I will get even." Matt said mock evil, at least I hope it was mock evil.

"Uhuh, clearly we aint getting anywhere verbally coz you all fucked up in the head."

"Then let's settle this like men." Jeff nodded and grabbed a glove off the bedside table.

"Let's duel, pretty boy." Jeff said as he slapped Matt across the face. Matt grabbed the other glove and slapped the other glove. I laughed and walked into the scene before me.

"Youz know this would make ripper tv." Matt and Jeff looked at each other.

"Hardy Show." Matt exclaimed.

"Tuesday?" Jeff queried.

"Done." Matt agreed, before leaving the room. (**A/N**: See now you all know where the eggfight episode really came from. Lol)

"So Skittles, what's Tuesday?"

"Hardy Show, best show NOT on tv."

"Uh-huh"

"You'll see, it'll be fun."

"I believe you. Now get your ass dressed, I'm going to go grab a shower." I unzipped the ba that was packed for me, it was literally packed full of the shopping bags from the other day, and a few of my most prized items of clothing. Feeling lazy I decided I'd just put on the first thing I grabbed today. In the bag I grabbed a pair of blue-grey cargos and my grey shirt with zippers and buttons all over it, it was low cut enough to show cleavage, but not too low cut, not actually from my shopping spree but a shirt I modified in Tuena. I went to the bathroom, but stopped short of closing the door noticing Jeff's green eyes looking at me curiously.

"Don't I get a shower?"

"I'm sure there's a hose out side."

"Ouch, maybe I should share with you." I rolled my eyes, as he wiggled his eyebrows.

"I'm sure there's more than one bathroom here, if no then _you_ should've gotten up earlier." I grinned, shutting, and locking the door. I turned the shower on and had my fabulously timed four-minute shower, still washing my hair and face. Just with Matt's stuff…don't tell him. I got out and put on my mostly new clothes. I walked back into the bedroom, drying my hair I went to my handbag, which, luckily had been put inside the bag for me, grabbed my hair mouse, and spiked it up. Back in Oz, I found this funky bracelet with the tag of zippers all around it, so I bought like five and connected them together to make a choker. I put on this wonderful accessory and grabbed my world inc. shoes. Nice work if I do say so myself.

I walked down stair with my bag to find a ready Jeff, and a very bemused looking Matt.

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing." Matt said, _trying_ to keep a straight face.

"Sure and I'm famous."

"You know you can't say that sarcastically anymore right? I mean you kind of are." Jeff reminded me. That's it, that fact alone caused for a happy dance, no matter what time of morning, or who was there. Ok, so I stopped when Matt and Jeff laughed at me.

"Hey, I don't laugh at the fact your names are basically the same thing."

"Huh?" Was all I got in reply from the brothers Hardy.

"Well you've got a consonant, a vowel, then double letters… M-A-TT, J-E-FF." The boys thought about it then nodded their heads. I love when I know stuff that other people don't. It makes me feel smart. "Now, what could possibly have you two so amused?" I asked, determined to get to the bottom of my curiosity.

'Nothing' Matt said, before chuckling. I gave Jeff and almost death glare, pretty sure I scared him because he leaned over and whispered that he'd tell me later. I glanced up at Matt's clock, or more the clock Jeff gave Matt, and realised it was time to go…five minutes ago.

"As much as I'd like to stay and" I had to think for a nano second. "Well annoy Matt here, Skittles, we really need to go, like five minutes ago."

"Ok, I'll talk to you later Matt." Jeff said, before giving him a 'manly' hug and walking outside.

"Thanks for the help earlier Maggot."

"No problemo Mattie, Thanks for the do." He gave me a hug and I walked outside. Jeff was impatiently waiting next to a pretty rusty and old looking paddle van. I walked over to him, but before I could make it someone poked out from behind the boot.

"You must be Elsie, let me take your bag."

**I know, how obvious is it that I love the eggfight episode of The Hardy Show, but honestly who doesn't?  
So whose car is it?? Read and Review my chickletts. **


	24. eavesdropping and ipods

**Hey all you cheeky monkeys that have managed to put up with my slack ass...I mean how long do I wanna leave between updates right?! I really am sorry chicklets, But reality calls me away from the fanfic realm and then my emails get on top of me, so I can't write more...But here is the next installment of Happy Never After.**

"_Thanks for the help earlier Maggot." _

"_No problemo Mattie, Thanks for the do." He gave me a hug and I walked outside. Jeff was impatiently waiting next to a pretty rusty and old looking paddle van. I walked over to him, but before I could make it someone poked out from behind the boot. _

"You must be Elsie, let me take your bag." I handed the older man my bag, not knowing who he was.

"Squirt, I'd like you to meet my dad, Gil, Daddy this is my girl, Elsie."

"Nice to meet you Mr Hardy."

"Nice to meet you too dear, but please, call me Gil."

"Ok, and Gil, please don't call me Elsie." I pulled Jeff in for what could have been a kiss, but brought his ear down. "Skittles, you owe me so bad, not telling me I'm meeting your father, how was I supposed to prepare?" I whispered roughly.

"You're great he loves you, just as you are." I blushed. Gil coughed, which brought Jeff and I back to our predicament.

"Umm, Squirt, Dad said he'd drop us at the airport." I nodded in understanding, whilst trembling at the thought of a whole car ride with Jeff and his dad, but moved towards the car as if on autopilot. With Gil driving, Jeff passenger and me in the back, Gil drives a lot like Jeff, or more so Jeff drives a lot like Gil. The whole ride I was feeling pretty uncomfortable, Gil was trying to be polite, asking questions about me, but honestly I was scared to answer, I mean meeting the parents is a big time thing in any relationship. I'm pretty sure I dodged enough because he stopped asking me things after about half an hour, so I listened to Jeff's ipod, leaving Jeff and Gil to talk. I got bored of listening to the music, so I paused the song, to eavesdrop, I know it's rude, but I'm a girl, I love gossip, whatever form it's in.

"She's a very nice girl I must say." Gil said, giving me a glance in the rear-view mirror, I bopped my head as if listening to music.

"She really is, I think this is like it Daddy." My eyes bugged out, I would've loved to be a bug on the windshield then, to have seen Gil's face on that one. But me, the one? WOW.

"That's a mighty statement there Jeffro"

"I know, but I've never felt this way about anyway, like ever."

"Well then I'm proud. Now, tell me, if this is the girl for you, how is it that she seemed shy and not able to talk much before."

"I hadn't told her she would meet you today." Gil nodded, I pushed play on Jeff's ipod, I've heard about enough for one lifetime I think.

I am the one for him? Wow that's like wow. I really wish Bray were here to talk to right about now. This is absolutely huge, I mean what can I compare this to? I have no backup, I really don't know if he's the one or not. Sure, he's got my entire heart hanging on my will by a thread, the rest is his, but is it that true ove, or lust…or teen love or fist love? I'm so confused. No now is not the time to be confused. Ok girly, think. Ok, true love comes once in a lifetime, we spend our while lives searching for it. It only happens once, and there is only one way to end it, in a box. So now all I've gotta know is whether or not this is love, or just something else…man why does emotions gotta be this hard. Ok, what I know right now. I love him, to what degree I don't know but I love him, and he loves me, that enough for me to live with.

Sat in the back of a very old rusting paddle can, my thoughts flew to my mum. I decided to mentally talk to her, since she died her spirit had, in a way, become the voice inside my head. I spoke to it, and thought about her when I needed guidance and help. And somehow I always thought of something. So once again I drew on the strength she left in me.

_Mum, I really miss you, you know. I mean now I'm more confuse than when I got my first period, I mean sure there's sex-ed, but everyone knows that you either joke around or sleep through that, complete and utter SnC…snooze and cruise mum. Jeez. Anyway, I mean I was trippin, thank god for nanny, honestly. But now my heart is on the line, how do I know if Jeff is the man of my dreams or not? I mean did you think dad was the man of yours? Or did you just think it was like love, but not? I'm confused. I really don't want to end like you mum, with Mattie cutting my breaks. Hey mum, guess what, I'm like famous now. Weird hey, a girl from a small ass country town two hundred miles from whoop whoop. I'm a diva in the wwe. How cool is that? The wwe is wrestling, like fighting, guess I'll fit right in hey, I mean all the trouble I got into at school. And then there's Jeff, the boy with my heart. I know the first thing you'd say too, he's too old, but you should see us together mum, it's like pizza and cheese, they belong together, I mean imagine cheeseless pizza…eww. Mum, I miss you a million slices of bread. So tell me do I stay with Jeff, do I leave? Am I destined for your life? Do I get abetter one? I'd love to know, but I know you'll let me find out on my own. Mum please watch over me, I know you have been on and off, but please mummy, watch over me in my matches. I really would feel better with you there. _

I opened my eyes, finding that once again I had been mouthing word for word what I was saying, as thought she were right in front of me. Jeff's gorgeous big green eyes were looking at me.

"What's up?"

"We're here, you were kind of off in your own world, like rapping or something."

"I'll tell you later. Ok, let's just go. " I opened the door "Thank you so much for the ride Mr…umm…Gil. I appreciate it."

"It's ok dear, just treat my boy right."

"Ok" I walked to the boot, blushing like a dingo. I grabbed mine and Jeff's bags and waited on the curb for Jeff to finish talking to his dad. He hopped out and we watched as Gil drove off. Time to go to Alabama for Raw. Jeff told me to relax, so I went to an overpriced coffee shop, more like window. And bought a really burnt cup of coffee. Being a waitress you learn how to make coffee, and what tastes good, not to brag or anything, but my coffee was the absolute shit. Everyone said so. I almost spit it out, but instead I downed this shit in one go. I sat in a fairly uncomfortable plastic chair whilst Jeff organised flight details and shit like that.

He walked over and spotted me.

"Thought I'd find you near the smell of coffee." He chuckled.

"Tastes like absolute shit though." I said, just above a whisper. "They burnt it."

"How do you burn coffee?"

"The beans, once you attach the shot of coffee beans to the machine you've got like 3 seconds to push the water shot or the coffee burns." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Coffee addict." He teased.

"What? I'm not that bad, only like five…maybe seven a day."

"Are you shitting me?" Wow, he actually did a double take…funniest thing ever.

"Nope, Jeff I waitress… I drink coffee a lot." I waited for the usual nod that I got from that statement.

"You're not a waitress, you're a sexy ass diva." I smiled, still feeling like I was dreaming. A boyfriend, a dad and a dream job all in a week. I really should email Bray about all this. I will. In Alabama.

"Now boarding flight 458 to Alabama through gate 14." The overly nasally voice came over the intercom.

"That's us Squirt, let's roll." We walked over with our carry ons. Boarded the plane and got comfy in our seats, which Jeff got together. I was supposed to sit by the window, so not happening, me and heights, I don think so.

"Hey Jeff, can I switch, please? I don't do heights." Jeff smirked. Why did he have to smirk?

"Sorry Squirt, seats a seat." Damn you Hardy. I begrudgingly sat in my window seat. I felt like punching, so I did, sure it wasn't nice but he screwed me next to the window. I punched Jeff in the right shoulder, the one closest to me.

"What was that for?" Jeff asked rubbing his shoulder.

"Well, seen as a certain person wouldn't move, I decided said person was my pillow, and I hate pillows that aren't satisfactory." I said bullshitting my way through that one. I put my head on Jeff's shoulder.

"You know dud, she has a point. You shouldn't have been so rude to a girl." A so far unrecognised voice said.

"Yea but you don't know her." Jeff whined back. That was all I heard before falling asleep…again.

_Elsie, my gorgeous little possum. I am so proud of you, making it onto international television. I was there last week you know, I saw that kick, or rather I anticipated that kick, that's why you hardly felt it, I came and took it from you. No matter what I'll always be here to help you. That boy, Jeff, he may be older than you, but you and him are good together, you'd have to be six feet under not to see that…ok, well you know what I mean. I've been talking to his mother, Ruby. He is a good boy, I'm glad you have him, she's very proud of his, just like I am of you. But possum, don't forget about Bray, he misses you, he's really worried about you actually, he thinks And has you in more than one piece already. Possum, just follow your heart, anywhere and everywhere. You're destined for greatness, I knew as soon as I held you in my arms that you would do great things, and you are. Just remember, no matter what anyone says about me, or you, that you are an amazing person who is stronger than anyone I've ever known. And sweetpea, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you that night, I know you blame yourself but you were only ten. There was nothing you could do, I only wish I had known, or could've stopped it somehow. Poppy sends his love, he's been eating lots of mars bars, he misses you and thinks you are going to go far. We're always watching over you, we'll always be here. And remember I love you my possum. _

Was that really my mum? Or just some whacked up crappy coffee induced dream? Either way it was like, well like I had finally said goodbye, like properly, I couldn't do it at the funeral, I really didn't get what was happening. But now it felt like she answered all my questions on everything. Jeff, my new job, everything. I looked at Jeff, who was currently listening to his ipod.

"Skittles" I said, nudging him. He took the earphones out of his ears and looked at me.

"What's up Squirt?" He asked, concern shining through his eyes.

"Umm this may sound a little weird, but I'm pretty sure it's not a dream." Yea, that didn't sound weird at all…maybe you should explain yourself you tool.

"Ok" See look what I just told…myself…the curiosity in that 'ok' was enormous.

"My mum, she replied, you know." Great I sound like a freak. "And she said your mum said she was proud of you. I just wanted you to know." And back to the waitressing life I go.

"So that's what you were doing." Hardy boy say what? Where's the crazy looks and stuff like that. "I should've known, I do it too. You were talking to your mum in the car right?"

"Yea, I talk to her and my Poppy a lot." Should've known Jeff would get it.

"You know my mum answered me twice I think. I talk to her every three days, but I think they answer when they feel you need guidance and help the most. Your mum said she loved you with all her heart, but it was time someone else down here was able to have a place in it."

"My mum spoke to you too?"

"No, my mum did, passed along a message. Just the other day actually." I smiled, knowing this was right for me, now, this was it. I put my head on his shoulder once more. "And Squirt,"

"Yea?"

"There's an ipod in my laptop bag for you later."

"You really didn't have to."

"Yea I did, you're always stealing mine." Ass. "Now go back to sleep and have wonderful dreams about me."

"Hot head." His shoulder moved as he silently laughed. At least he was just kidding…I really hope the ipod's real though...kidding, or am I?

**Read and Review...I swear I'll update faster if you do...but if you don't I'll...Hmmm what to do, what to do...Oooh I know, I'll shave Jeff Hardy's head so he looks like Teale Jakubenko of Australian Idol...I swear I'm not lying either.**


	25. prom mum and first dates?

**I'd like to thank everyone who read and Reviewed the last chapter. This is the last chapter I have written up...so, well i'm sure you're all used to my updates taking absolutely forever, and i know how fustrating it can be. So i'm apologising in advance. lol.**

"_And Squirt,"_

"_Yea?"_

"_There's an ipod in my laptop bag for you later."_

"_You really didn't have to."_

"_Yea I did, you're always stealing mine." Ass. "Now go back to sleep and have wonderful dreams about me."_

"_Hot head." His shoulder moved as he silently laughed. At least he was just kidding…I really hope the ipod's real though__...kidding, or am I?_

I'm pretty sure the ipod thing was a joke, I mean it's been three days and I've had to steal Jeff's like 6 times already. But what'd I expect, I mean he already bought me a phone that was too much as it is. An ipod would be like asking someone to marry you after knowing them for like a month. Anyway, what was I supposed to be doing again? Let me think…meeting with the boss man, done. Gossip with Ash Mash, done…what else was there? Oh yea, mine and Jeff's first official date! Ya had to know I was holding out for a reason right, I mean who could forget something as completely awesome as that!

On to the most important matter, what the fuck am I supposed to wear? I asked Ash to come help me but she's a busy bee…bitch. Man I love this song, Pink just came on the radio, so like any human being I turned it up full blast and started singing along.

_So, so what I'm still a rock star I got my rock moves and I don't need you and guess what I'm having more fun and now that we're done I'm gonna show you tonight. _The only problem with having music turned up full bore is that you don't hear knocks at the door. _I'm all right I'm just fine._ Third times a charm…as I later found out. Anyway, I opened the door, not really expecting anyone, so I left the music blaring, worst-case scenario, someone telling me to shut up. _And you're a tool so, so what I am a rock star I got my rock moves and I don't want you tonight._ I lied, worst-case scenario, Ash sends Melina in her place, and me standing there in my robe with my hair going spastic, looking like a, well a tool.

"Oh I love this song, turn it up bitch."

"Done and done boss lady" Well that was avoided nicely.

"Now let's get your sexy ass ready for your date."

"You know I'm going out with Jeff Hardy not Chris Jericho right?"

"You've been playing catch up I see."

"Thought I should know what I'm getting into" Man yelling over this music is hard work.

_I'm gonna get in trouble my ex will start a fight Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah he's gonna start a fight nah nah nah nah nah nah nah we're all gonna get in a fight!_

"Shit for a youngin you got some pipes on you."

"And for a bitch you're rather funny."

"Touché"

"Well duh. But seriously I'm not that good, just something fun to do."

"Whatever you reckon. Now what are you gonna wear?"

"I dunno, I mean its just dinner right?" I'm not even that stupid, but what do people usually wear on first dates with Jeff?

"No chicka, it's your first date" How does she know this – Ashley is a dead woman. "It's special. And don't you dare roll your eyes" How did she know that, she's searching through my wardrobe space.

"Yes mother dear."

"I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that because I just found the perfect outfit."

"What is it?" Mel came away from my clothes holding up her choice, just as the song changed, must've been destiny.

"Who's this?"

"Short Stack."

"Not bad."

"I was thinking the same thing." About the clothes of course.

"I think the jade green is the perfect dress…its cute, sexy and matches Jeff's hair perfectly" laughing at Jeff's expense probably isn't nice…too bad. **(A/N: there is a link to the dress on my ffic page)**

"I like it. Now please pretty lady. Do my hair" Man that last bit was a demand…you've gotta work your way up to those, everyone knows that.

"I'm coming, I'm coming."

"Don't you mean Anon, anon."

"Huh?"

"Sorry, it's just whenever someone says 'I'm coming' my best friend Bray and I say Anon instead…reference to Romeo and Juliet and a douche who went to school with us."

" _Get down, why now, so right, and watch, me drown, the mo-ments…right. You're finger is on the trigger so say goodbye GOODBYE, you're finger is on the trigger so say good Shimmy shimmy go go_"

"Who'd you say this was?"

"Short Stack. They're a Sydney band, they were just picking up when I left."

"Mmm, Catchy." Who says catchy? That totally calls for a mean girls quote.

"Yea, they're totally fetch." Mel laughed forgetting she was sposed to be fixing the bomb known as my hair.

"Stop trying to make fetch happen, it's not gonna happen." I love Mean Girls, it is the bomb. So funny I think I might laugh a little louder. Lol.

"Ok, we had our mean girl's moment, now _pluh-lease_ do my hair!"

"Hold your horses."

"Girl if you met my horse, you'd know I didn't need to hold him. Bugs is an extremely well behaved horse."

"Fine then hold your boyfriend."

"Fair enough" Man sending Mel was an awesomely bad idea. I mean we're having too much fun to think about the date!

Half an hour later, a can of mousse and a very deflated looking hair straightener Mel had finished with my always morning hair. With my fringe having been straightened and sat across my face, as always, and the back of my hair spiked…it's growing so fast it needed to be straightened after it had mousse in it to stay spiked. And in the way of jewellery Mel handed me my giant cross necklace. **(A/N: A pic can be found on my ffic page)** I was officially ready to go…well I would be once I actually put my dress on…clever Elsie real clever.

For some reason Mel decided she wanted to be a prom night mum, and take a million pictures of me dressed up, though I guess I can understand, this is my first real relationship and I guess technically my first legit date period. After the like thousandth picture there was a knock at the door, now I'm not normally one to be nervous…like ever, but I guess all this gushing from Mel has set it in my mind I should be…or something like that. So I'm currently a little nervous. Oh well…not to much I can do about it now that Mel's opened the door….WAIT! Mel's at the door…not letting in Jeff…what's going on? Why's she laughing?

"Oh. This. Is. Perfect." Mel managed to get out in between fits of laughter. "You. Two. Match." Guess he's wearing green.

Once Mel had settled down a bit, I walked over to the door…of course, unbeknown to them I was putting some green pep toe wedges on to match my dress. Jeff was looking very dashing in a pale green button up and a pair of jeans.

"Squirt…Elsie, you look absolutely breath taking." Dammit why do we blush?

"You don't look to bad yourself stud." Mel laughed again. Dammit what a mood kill.

"Now just remember young Sizzle. If you have sex you will get Chlamydia and die. So Jeff go grab some rubbers." Oh. My. God. I cannot believe she just used Mean Girls against me! Mel's in for it later. I swear to god.

**As I said, this is all i have written, so i have very few ideas on what i can write next, any suggestions or scenes you thin kcould be cool...storylines whatever, i'll take them all on board and try and use some of your awesome ideas. Just let me know what they are adn what you think. xoxo**


	26. Date or not, I'll take my phonecall

**Ok so long time no update...like REAL long time – years even...so, I've incorporated a catch up in this chapter a little ways down. **

**But if you're keen please re-read the start. **

_"Oh. This. Is. Perfect." Mel managed to get out in between fits of laughter. "You. Two. Match." Guess he's wearing green._

_Once Mel had settled down a bit, I walked over to the door…of course, unbeknown to them I was putting some green pep toe wedges on to match my dress. Jeff was looking very dashing in a pale green button up and a pair of jeans._

_"Squirt…Elsie, you look absolutely breath taking." Dammit why do we blush?_

_"You don't look to bad yourself stud." Mel laughed again. Dammit what a mood kill._

_"Now just remember young Sizzle. If you have sex you will get Chlamydia and die. So Jeff go grab some rubbers." Oh. My. God. I cannot believe she just used Mean Girls against me! Mel's in for it later. I swear to god._

So far so good! Well I mean how could it not? We were going to dinner, there wasn't exactly a way for me to fuck up…well not yet, then again if anyone were to fuck up something as simple as dinner it'd be me. Anyway, back to point. Tonight is going rather well…even with a certain flexible diva quoting the most quotable movie in existence.

"So why was I told to grab a rubber? Am I gonna get lucky?" Wiggling eyebrows…why do we have to have social etiquette in public, oh to belly laugh right now.

"In your imagination maybe" I smirked. Payback is definitely fun.

"But we're in Chicago" oh god hearing grown men whine is still one of the all time funniest things the world has to offer.

"Aww poor diddums" I don't know just how serious Jeff is anymore, what if he really wants to take that next step? I don't think I'm ready for that just yet. How in the lord's name am I gonna get out of this? Amazing or not, Jeff Hardy or not, I'm just not ready to say 'yes' to that question yet.

"But seriously can we watch Mean Girls tonight?" Whaaaaa? Jeff wants to watch Mean Girls, I swear I shouldn't be shocked…but still…

"You know what, just for you, ok. How'd you know it was a Mean Girl's quote anyway?" Maybe not so much for him…I haven't seen Mean Girl's in like months...too long any case.

"That movie is only the most quoted movie by chicks ever. You can't tour with the Divas 340 days a year without knowing it backwards and forwards." Okay, so there is an excuse…

"Aww Jeffy likes chick flicks. Do you go to slumber parties with the Divas and paint each others nails while watching these movies?" Smirk and smirk and smirk…definitely satisfactory…WAIT! "Do you actually?"

"Well only Ash, I don't think she counts, going out with my brother and all." Hmmm jury what's your verdict.

"Ash paints your nails?" Oh good lord! I probably shouldn't be surprised I wonder who does his hair.

"I just I can't quite do my right nails…it gets so damn messy" I wish I could laugh and pretend that's just silly…but I have the same problem.

"Does wittle Jeffy have someone do his hair too?" Hope he doesn't take that as a low blow?

"No! I do it all by my onsies!" Ok, so maybe my interior clapping him on is mean…just a bit. "It's completely easy and fine…as long as you remember to treat it." Well duh. "Or else the blonde is completely unmanageable" That's just obvious.

"Hey Squirt" and SNAP away from hair care. "Can I do your hair when we get home on Tuesday?" Maybe not away from hair at all.

"We fly out in like six hours Jeff…I don't think I can trust you with my hair that soon!" or you know ever…

"But it'll be fun I swear." And my hair will be ruined.

"What about my job. Don't I need to get that type of thing approved now?"

"It can only strengthen the onscreen relationship we're in." What can I argue now?

"Well I guess if you run it passed Vinnie Mac" Yea, somewhere there I'd started calling him Vinnie Mac too.

"I'll ring Paul" Damn there went my last hope of nice hair…please save me Paulie.

"Paul? It's Jeff…I'm still with her in fact…sly dog! It's not like that at all!" If only I knew what Paul was saying? "I want to do Squirt's hair, she thinks the higher ups will freak…in her sleep? I considered it…" if that's even remotely near what I think it might be about I'll…I'll shave his hair as he sleeps! "Oh man you should see the look I'm getting now…who says we're crazy kids?...guess you can't argue with those numbers. Later man." Fuck, that grin scares me.

"You know for a date, this just seems like us being us." Yeah that isn't stupefying at all…

Oh jebus please don't groan. "This isn't what you wanted or expected or whatever is it?" Well I thought a date would be different to hanging out.

"This is comfortable…I honestly don't know Skittles, I just guess my imagination told me dates should be different?" Stupid Disney I fully blame this whole thing on you and your damn cutesy kids films…installing romantic ideas no person can ever live up to….

"I just thought…you don't look like the kind of girl who wants awkward small talk at a fancy restaurant as I sneak glances at you." Well when you put it that way. "I figured why not just be us and have fun. I like you for you and I want to spend time with the you I've gotten to know and love." Oh dearest Disney movies suck on that.

"You're such a cutie." Oh god did I actually say that out loud? Clearly I spent too much time with Bray.

_Can't you see I want to lock the door and shut out the world surrounding me? Safe from the problems and the pressures caused by insecurities. GET UP! GET UP! LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL!_

Only one person had that song in my phone.

"Bray!" nothing upon nothing made my day quicker than talking to my best friend, middle of a date or not. "Of course I can talk"

"_I've missed you so much Rainy Day! Why haven't I heard from you yet?" _I feel terrible. Since the moment I hopped off the plane I'd just been in a dream pretty much. _"I swear if I hadn't been playing catch up with Andy I wouldn't know anything…." _Eep he's pissed. I feel horrid now! Wait what's Andy been saying.

"I'm so sorry Bray, I've just been having a wild adventure. So what's that nuisance of a cousin been saying about me now?" fill a sister in…

"_Pretty much nothing. Asking a lot actually. He worries about you, you know…I don't think he enjoyed finding out about you moving out or your Gran moving to America from me somehow" _Yeah my communication has been seriously lacking of late.

"Bray I wish I could take it back and talk to you constantly I do, but there is so much to catch up on…" Please Jeff don't take this the wrong way but I haven't spoken to my best friend the entire time I've been here. A quick supportive glance from Jeff later and I'm out the door faster than you can say buttered yams.

"_Shall we start at the beginning?" _trust Bray to want to know everything.

"Well I slept through the whole flight." I think he wanted more interesting than that somehow….

"_What about that whole neighbour apologising thing Andy had to do? Did you miss that?"_ Wow it really has been a LONG TIME

"Yea, see that sort of happened as soon as we got here. You won't believe who their neighbour is...ok maybe you will and tell me my life just got too clichéd."

"_You're kidding that guy? Really?"_ Oh I've missed Bray.

"I kid you not…turns out he's famous…and really nice…and great at talking people into getting jobs…and has a girlfriend." If he can't hear my smiling through the phone then it really has been too long.

"_Damn. Are you gonna take the bitch out or just live and let live?" _Well seen as I am the bitch…

"Wow Ring Bearer you missed heaps just then! Are you at my place still?"

"_Watching your tv…muted." _Wouldn't have it any other way.

"Google me…well not me…Google Helen Tarnation"

"_Haven't heard that name in a while. Did you miss your mum being with your aunty and all?"_

"Questions later. Google now." He'll thank me after he shits a brick.

"_AGGGGHHHHHHHH Rainy Day you're all over that shit!" _Man I feel bad for not ringing him sooner.

"I ummm…got a new job" Mumbling can only help this now right?

"_A big profile high paying job by the looks of it."_ Only Bray would say that. _"Wait!...does that mean you're not coming back?" _Oh god I don't know how to react to that? I never thought that by not going back I was leaving behind my best friend ever, my heart just broke in two.

"Well I signed a contract so I'm here for at least two years." Please please please Bray don't hate me.

"_Two years is a long time Si." _Did youz hear that ripping sound my heart just made too?

"I know Bray! I know!"

"_What am I gonna do without my best friend for that long?" _Don't cry Elsie. Don't cry.

"It won't be entirely for that long. There's a tour of Australia in like a month and a half."

"_Get me a ticket?" _

"Already taken care of. Got you a backstage pass."

"_So I get to see you!" _You think I'd go home without seeing you?

"You get to move your ass back to my couch too." And 3. 2. 1. CLICK

"_You're coming home!" _

"For a week…with someone for you to meet."

"_Who? New people? Andy? I don't understand?" _

"Well I didn't just walk the town and get handed a job did I."

"_This is what the new neighbour does isn't it?" _ Very good Bray. _"The guy got you a job? Maybe he isn't so keen on his girl.."_ And it clicked. _"YOU GOT HIM?"_

"I got him forever…"

"_You good little hussy!"_ Only Bray could possibly say that as a term of endearment.

"It's amazing Bray…he's like perfect all I could ask for and more. He even told me to walk out of our first date to talk to you. And I trust him too…like magically." Bray may not know everything but he knows how big my trust issues are.

"_I'm so proud of you hunny." _I'm smiling from ear to ear, which would have to look ridiculous to anyone spying on me. Smiling like a Cheshire cat while my hot date is sat inside on his lonesome.

"It's like my life finally turned out okay…but I still miss you."

"_I miss you too! No more of this no talking bullshit." _Definitely not.

"Never again."

"_They pushed you in a shower!" _Thanks for laughing at me oh best friend of mine.

"YES! And they didn't tell me they were doing it! Wait how did you know?"

"_Reading about your debut on the interwebz…apparently you have a match tomorrow? A bra and panties match…is that what I think it is?"_ Yes.

"I had no option in it. Thank god I got a new wardrobe, could you imagine me being almost naked in my bonds undies. Embarrassment."

"_I wish I could see that. It would be brutal."_

"I'm sure it'll be on youtube soon…even if I have to put it up just for you."

"_This is why I love you." _Oh god why is it you don't realise how much you miss someone till you talk to them.

"I love you too Bray…But what's been happening with you?"

"_Getting really bored actually."_ Bored? that's not Braydon?

"How come?"

"_Well I'm on workers comp so lots of sitting at home. Doing a whole lotta not so much." _ Worker's compensation? Oh god.

"What happened? Are you hurt? Why didn't you tell me sooner!"

"_Well, the official story is that a cinderblock fell and got my foot. But some homophobic douche pushed it when we were all on break." _WHAT! That's so illegal!

"Are you pressing charges? Are you ok? Did you kill the sad excuse of a human?"

"_Slow down Si, no I can't press charges everyone is sticking to the it fell story, it's worse than high school some days. I'm fine just pissed I guess. Nah he's still breathing…don't wanna get too stuck in this rut." _

"Can I kill him then?"

"_You're famous. It won't work."_

"But I'll be able to use my fame to get me outa trouble." I surely hope he can hear the smirk across the phone.

"_This is why you're my best friend."_ I'm pretty sure it's actually coz I'm awesome but whatever.

"You should just use the time your work is PAYING you to stay home to go out every night, enjoy yourself and find a hunk-of-man candy." Oh good lord did that phrase actually pass my lips?

"_In the small ass town you're from? Good luck with that."_

"Go into the big bad city. Claim the trip on hospital expenses! It'll be fun."

"_Aghh I miss your evil scheming brain so much these days." _

"I miss you too Bray!" Damn these tears, they are ruining Mel's makeup.

"_I'm gonna go, leave you to your DATE. I love you Rainy Day."_

"I love you too Bray. I'll talk to you as soon as I can." And with that I hung up on my best friend. Almost as if waiting for the call to end Jeff's arms were around me.

"It'll be ok Squirt."

"These are happy tears dummy." I said laughing. "I just miss my best friend."

"You'll get to see him in just over a month." I love that he's right about this. "Shall we bail. The restaurant is getting boring" God how long was I on the phone? Apparently long enough for the joint to close.

"I'm sorry Jeff, I just…this was the first time since I got here I've talked to Bray. He's like a brother to me."

"Darlin it's ok, I understand." Goddamn that southern drawl is gonna get me hook, line and sinker.

**Alright there you go...my first actual chapter update in 3 whole years. Hope you enjoy...unfortunately I haven't finished the next chapter yet...and have a video to edit together at the moment. However, with my word as my bond, it will be up within the week. **

**Please Review...I need to know if i still suck?  
**


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